It feels uncomfortable to make a big career or life change. It’s much easier to stick with what you know, but guess what, it feels uncomfortable there, too! The world has unlimited possibilities, and there is more for you out there. If you know you want to earn more, do more or feel more, it’s all within your reach.
I’ve learned a lot this past year about what it takes to make a change in your life. When you value yourself enough and believe that what you want exists, you can take the necessary steps toward the results you want.
In this episode, I’m sharing three vital steps to help you make that big career change you’ve been holding off on. I’m showing you why it’s OK to feel grateful to have a job right now but still want more, and how to start taking action to get to where you want to go. If you want to make a change but haven’t been able to do it yet, you don’t want to miss this episode!
This is the 6-Figure Job You Love Podcast, episode 30, three vital steps to making a big career. Hey there, welcome to the Get a 6-Figure Job You Love Podcast. I’m your host, Natalie Fisher. I’m a certified career mindset coach who also happens to want to skip all the BS and get to what it really takes to create real results for you and your career. On this podcast, you will create real mindset shifts that will lead to big results and big changes in your career and your income. No fluff here. If you want to get a six-figure job you love and create real concrete results in your industry and make a real impact, you’re in the right place. Are you ready? Let’s go. Hello and welcome to the podcast. This week, we are talking about changes, big changes, hard changes. As someone who has in the last year gone through a huge change, if you’ve been listening to me for a while, you know that I ended my 10 year relationship about 10 months ago now and I went through that pain and discomfort to change it and it was really big and I learned a lot of lessons and I’m kind of looking back on it and seeing that this change has really up-leveled me to be able to coach my clients on their changes that are really difficult for them, because they are often going through very similar things because our brain is doing the same kind of thing during a big change. So I wanted to outline today what it took for me to make that huge change and what it’s going to take for you if you are in an environment where you know you don’t want to be work-wise, if you know, like you know who you are, if you’re working in a place where you don’t want to be, knowing that you want to make a change, but haven’t been able to do it yet. That is what I’m going to help you with on this episode. So I’m going to outline the three major things that have to be present for that change to happen, and then for you to be able to go and create the life that you want, create the career and the job and the environment and the day-to-day that you want to be living that compares to what you have now is going to be so much better. So it’s going to be a three step process. There’s going to be three things that are going to be needed for you to do this. So since I’ve gone through it and I’ve been reflecting on it and working with clients to go through it, I’ve outlined these three things as the non-negotiables. You have to have these things, otherwise, you’re not going to do it. So the first thing is belief. If you don’t believe you can get the job you want, you will always settle for the job you don’t want. This was what I learned when I finally made the decision to leave my relationship. If I didn’t believe that I could have the relationship that I wanted, I would always be settling for the one that I didn’t want, and this is the same for any big change. So it’s so important, and I think that’s the easiest way I can say it. If you don’t believe you can get the job you want, you will always settle for the job you don’t want. In order to leave a toxic environment, or in order to leave a situation where you’ve outgrown it, maybe it’s not toxic, maybe you love it, but you know you’ve outgrown it, right? You’re like, “I’m not growing here anymore,” and you know that you’ve been put here to do something big. You know you’ve been put here to evolve. I believe that. I believe that’s one of the reasons why we’re here is to evolve our brains and see what we’re capable of. I don’t believe that we’re here to stay in a job we don’t love for 10 years. But who am I to judge? It took me 10 years to leave this toxic relationship. But anyways, if you know, then you have to believe that the environment that you do want exists and that you are in control of finding it and creating that life for yourself, right? So you have to have that belief. Sometimes, things get in the way of us having that belief because of what we kind of observe around us or what people say to us. But I’m here to tell you that the world is huge. It’s unlimited in its possibility, and of course it’s possible, there are no doubts. I can tell you that if one person has done what you want to do, it’s possible. There’s no difference in me believing that the guy that I wanted to be
with existed versus you believing that the company and the position that you want to work in exists, right? That’s where I can kind of look and reflect back and I can say, “I was always really good at believing that the company existed that I wanted. I was really good at believing that my value would be a parent and I’d be able to show them that and that I’d be able to match up and ask for the salary that I wanted.” I didn’t have any problem believing that, which is why that was so easy for me. But in my relationship, that wasn’t easy. That’s where I feel like a lot of you are where you’re not in the belief that what you want is really available. It’s possible it’s out there. It completely 100% exists. So the reason why we get stuck in those places is because we don’t believe that either we don’t believe it exists, or we don’t believe that we are capable or in control of doing the work to go and find it. So it’s one of the two or both, right? We really need to take a close look at that, right? So it’s like, if you are in a position right now where you know that you could be earning more money, or you could be doing more fulfilling work, you could be getting up in the morning and really looking forward to what you’re working on, and you’re not, then you need to ask yourself, “How much do I believe on a one to 10 scale that that is a possibility?” You’re not a 10 yet, because if you were, then you would have it, right? So maybe you’re close. Then you got to look at what’s getting in the way of that. You don’t believe that you’re in control of finding it, right? So the common beliefs that we have when we don’t think that we can get the job, so the main reasons why I was stuck in my relationship for a long time and why you are stuck, if you are, in a job where you know you know that you want more are going to be a set of beliefs that have a certain flavor to them. So I call them flavors of thinking, right? So for me, the beliefs were I wasn’t really worthy. I needed to be better. I didn’t have a very high regard for myself in the area of relationships, and therefore, I just didn’t believe that I’d be able to meet somebody amazing and that they would also like me. I didn’t believe that. I was like, “Yeah, there’s great guys out there, but they’re not going to want me because I’m not good enough.” Or like, in my relationship, this is what I was thinking, right? Or I was thinking, “Yeah, they’re all just unavailable emotionally. Or there’s very few good guys out there. There’s way better women than me.” That’s the flavor of belief that I had, right? I had to work on that to believe differently to then create something different. So for you, if you’re stuck in a job you don’t like, it’s going to be things like this because I hear it from clients all the time. It’s going to be like, “Yeah, but I really am lucky to just have this job right now.” Right? I’m lucky to be here and be getting paid and I’m lucky to have a job, especially now during COVID, et cetera. You’ll probably see evidence that that’s true, right? You’ll probably see people who have been laid off or people who are unemployed. Your brain is probably going to find evidence for that being true, just like my brain was finding evidence of my beliefs being true when I was dating. So you’re going to hear things like… You’re going to see things like recruiters approaching you for jobs that are lower, like they’re going to low ball. You’re going to see things that are not what you want. You’re going to be like, “Yeah, see, I knew it. That’s just what’s available right now. It’s hard. There aren’t any good positions out there. It’s so hard to find a good high paying position with a company that’s willing to pay me. It’s going to be really hard for me to negotiate. There aren’t any good roles for what I do. It’s very competitive. There’s lots of better candidates out there I’m just lucky, right? To have what I have now.” Then you’ll justify it however way your brain sees fit to justify it, right? It was the same with me. I was just like, “Oh, well, I’ve built this foundation here. I’ve put all this work into this relationship. I’m going to make this work.” It’s the same. The same flavor was just this justification of this is good enough. The reason why it doesn’t work is because we always have that nagging feeling that we don’t really want it, right? So we go back and forth. We’re like, “Yeah, this is good. I’ve got good health benefits here. They’re nice to me,” or if that’s the case, right? But they’re not
willing to give you more money, right? But they’re like, “Yeah, but they gave me a Starbucks gift card for Christmas or they made an effort. They said thank you.” Right? That was one of the things that I talked about in my LinkedIn post. I said, “Yeah, who cares if they give you a little Starbucks gift card for Christmas and you’ve been asking for the raise you deserve for years and you haven’t got it. Who cares?” Right? It’s kind of like, who cares if he’s going to make me breakfast, if the next day he’s going to call me an idiot. Who cares? Right? So that’s where you really have to level up and decidethis is not what I’m here for. I’m not available for this anymore. You get to decide that, right? When you decide that, when you make a powerful decision, which I’m going to talk about in a couple of minutes, you get to then have a shift [inaudible 00:09:56] and move forward, right? So there are many of you right now, from talking to many of you and from talking to my clients that are in a toxic like job right now. Your belief has probably wobbly. I can tell you that. You’re thinking that you’re lucky to have the job. What if no one else is going to hire you? What if you can’t do the job? What if you get it and then you can’t do it? What if you’re not that great after all? What if you don’t have the value to offer? What if you can’t deliver? Then imposter syndrome sets in, things like this. Right? So this is what our brain does because it wants to keep you safe in the cave, right? That’s how our brain was evolved. It’s meant to be like that. Nothing’s going wrong. It’s very normal, right? Your brain is keeping you safe. It’s like, no, you don’t need to go out there. You don’t need to go to interviews and get rejected. You don’t need to go get turned down. You don’t need to feel disappointment or anything negative. You’re fine. Just stick with what you have. You’re lucky to have what you have. That’s what your brain, its job, right, to tell you that. So it’s all that flavor of you can’t, you’re not worthy enough, you’re not able enough, you’re not capable enough. Or it’s either that or the external. It’s like, “Well, there’s no jobs available.” It’s like, “Yeah, I could. But there’s just nobody willing to hire me. It’s just too competitive. It’s just not going to work.” Then what if, yeah. So it’s going to be one of those two, either you’re thinking you don’t have what it takes and you don’t have the belief in yourself to make it happen, or you don’t believe it exists out there and you don’t believe that the external world is going to allow for it, right? So the first step is going to be believing that it exists and that you are capable and in control of going to get it. I can tell you, it’s 100% possible and available. If one person in the world has done it, you can. You must believe that to take any action forward and to keep taking action forward. Your belief must be there. That’s where my clients have to start. I totally get it because in my relationship, that’s where my belief was wobbly. So it’s a myth exactly what that is. It’s a myth of I’m just lucky to have a job. You can be grateful for the job and you can still want more, right? But if that belief causes you to not take action, because you think there’s just no point, I’m lucky to have this, there’s just no point. Then that’s a problematic belief to have. Because if you don’t believe it exists or that you can get it, why would you ever leave the comfort and safety of where you are? If you don’t believe it exists, why would you ever be willing to experience an interview where you don’t get it? Right? Why would you ever be willing to go and put yourself out there in order to potentially get turned down in order to move forward? Why would you want to do that if you didn’t really think you could, if you didn’t really think that at the end of the process, you would actually be able to succeed? So if you don’t believe it exists, you’re just not going to. It’s called getting comfortable in discomfort. So where you are right now might be pretty uncomfortable, right? I’ve heard all these stories about how you should be up for the promotion and you’ve been promised it and then you keep not getting it, right? Or the manager just doesn’t like you or whatever, you just know it’s not going to happen there. Or you keep asking and they just keep saying no, or keep giving you all these reasons.
I’ve heard all the stories from all my clients as to why they are not getting what they’ve been asking for. They’ve not been moving forward where they are, yet they’re staying there because they’re more comfortable in being uncomfortable there than they are in venturing out to take matters into their own hands, right? So ask yourself, what is your level of belief that you can have and love a new job that pays you what you want and creates a much better life experience for you? If your belief is low, why is it low? What is your level of belief and confidence in yourself to be able to create a new situation for yourself? Right? So sometimes we are forced into these situations. So if you were laid off tomorrow, on a scale of one to 10, how confident are you that you would be able to create a better situation out of that layoff versus not? Right? Versus letting it ruin you. There’s two types of people, and I’ve seen that happen both ways. The person who’s talking about their layoff years later saying, “If I hadn’t been laid off in 2015, I would be doing so much better now.” Right? Then you’ve got the people who have created way better jobs out of it and are saying, “That layoff was the best thing that ever happened to me.” Right? So there’s the two types of people who think differently, right? So sometimes the challenge is forced on you. How confident would you be if it was that you would be able to create a better situation? Because you know you’re not full of belief if you’re believing things like this. Or if you find yourself saying things like this, “Yeah. I’ll quit someday once I figure out what I want to do,” or, “Yeah. I know this isn’t where I want to stay, but right now I’m just lucky to have a job,” or “There’s too much going on right now. I can’t leave,” or, “It’s just not a good time,” or “Yeah. It would be nice to have a job that pays me more, but we’ll see,” or, “Yeah, I’ll probably start looking once I have some more money saved or I’ll do this once I get the certification or once this other thing happens,” or… If you find yourself saying, “I will do this when I have this other thing,” then you’re avoiding some sort of thing that’s stopping you from taking action because you know you’re uncomfortable where you are, right? You live with that discomfort every day, whether you know it or not, right? So when you’re opting for this type of thinking, so when you’re saying things like this to yourself, like, “Yeah, I know this is not me. I know I don’t like it anymore. I know I need to leave. I know I’ve been looking for wanting to make a change for a while.” Maybe you’ve even tried and haven’t been successful a couple of times, but didn’t really double down in your commitment to make it happen, that is not a decision. That is nothing. It’s literally saying, “I don’t really care if it ever happens.” Right? So you have to see this for the lie that it is. When you tell yourself these things, you’re basically saying, “Yeah, I don’t really care if it ever happens. Yeah. I know that I want to make a change, but who knows if it’ll ever happen? Yeah. It’s outside of my control. So we’ll just have to wait and see. Waiting and seeing is the best, because then I don’t have much power over the decision anyway. I don’t really have much control over this and making any kind of decision right now is too risky and too dangerous. So let’s not do that.” It’s all about the way that you decide what you want and then go after it, right? This is the kind of person that you get to choose to be, the person who stays comfortable or the person who decides to go after something. Yes, going after something is going to be uncomfortable. But remember, being where you are is also uncomfortable, because it was never about the thing that you have to do first. It was never that you had to save more money. It was never that you had to get a certification. It was never whatever it was your brain is telling you. It’s always your brain not wanting to make a decision that requires you to do something different and uncomfortable. Our brains do not like different. They do not like changes. So you have to be onto yourself. When you’re in the space of you’re not going to make any decisions right now, you will go on with how things are and you will end up staying in the vague hope backed up with no action, no risk, no courage, no leap towards more, no movement towards the actual truth of who you are. So most people think that you need to have the proof of the new job before you can believe it’s possible. But that is
backwards because if you don’t have to believe to start with, you will never take the action and stay in the action that it is required to get it because why would you? So let’s dive deeper on talking about decisions. So the first thing, the belief has to be there for you to decide and commit to that decision. You have to decide that you want to change your life so bad that you are willing to do what it takes to make that change. That’s going to mean feeling some negative emotion sometimes. It’s going to mean feeling some fear, some disappointment knowing that those emotions are temporary and what needs to happen to get to the other side and that nothing has gone wrong and that those emotions are normal, right? You will need to decide and commit for your future self, for the vision of your future that you want to create, and you have to want it badly enough to go through it. You want to live a different day to day life. You want a really solid, compelling reason to get up in the morning. Then you’re going to have to imagine that your future is different than how it is now, and then decide that for the rest of your days and weeks to be lived out in a different, more fun way of experiencing your career, you’re going to have to go through some discomfort now, if you want something different, right, if you are somebody who really wants that because not everybody does, right? So for the sake of your better, higher self, for your better, higher self of the life, you want to live to your very fullest in your highest capacity, you want to create something where you can create and evolve and have an impact rather than just survive and complain. You want to be thinking about different things, have higher quality problems to solve. Decide that’s what you want, and then decide what that looks like for you. So the work that I did through this process for my relationship was I decided that I wanted someone who was going to be emotionally available and not have issues talking about things with me. He was open and he shared, and he wasn’t afraid of his own feelings. He needed to be willing to be vulnerable with me and tell me the truth. I wanted to feel ease and comfort and safety in the relationship, which is not what I had before. So for you, your job and fleshing out what it might look like are they aren’t afraid to invest in some nice equipment for you so that you can do your best work. Maybe they include you and they ask you what you think, they really are interested in your brain and what you can offer. They value your ideas. They want to run with the projects that you suggest, or the ways that you have thought of to do something efficiently. They appreciate your passion and they are reasonable. When you ask them for more money, they are willing to hear you out on that and they are reasonable when you’ve shown them the value that you’ve provided or that you will provide. They are cooperative and they have values that match yours. So for you to make this happen, you need to become the person who values yourself enough to go through with what it takes to find it. You have to be the person first. You have to think of yourself as a high performer who’s doing a good job at your current job. Now, my clients are always being told how great they are by their coworkers. They’re being given praise, and they’re helpful beyond belief, and they’re very highly accomplished. So I already know when you come to me, you’re already going to have all this value that you haven’t really seen yet yourself. It’s called the flippant effect and there’s a podcast that outlines why that happens, why you’re so close to your own value that you can’t see it. So they’ve already created great results and they’ve already done great things, right? So if you don’t believe that’s you quite yet, I can help you with that because that’s my specialty. I will help you flush out where your value lies. So they just need to see that, right? Then they need to raise their level of what they’re going to accept by going through the discomfort and making the decision to get there. So when you are in full belief and commitment, it’s easier to make a decision and go for it because you know that you’re going to make this happen. So when you believe that what you want exists and you’re willing to
go through the process to find it and get it, when you know for sure, then you’re just driving until you get there and you just keep driving until you arrive. But you know that it’s there. So I think of it as like, as simple as you’re going to the grocery store, right? You get in the car. You’re going to arrive at the grocery store. You’re not like, “Oh, there’s a red light. I guess I should turn back. I don’t think this is going to happen for me. I might as well just go home.” This is not what we do, right? We’re like, “Yeah, we’re going to get to the grocery store. We’re just stopped at a light right now.” That’s how I want you to think of your new job, right? That’s possible. But this work that I’m talking about on the podcast has to get done first. You have to believe fully, and then you have to decide, and then you can drive. So that’s where the process comes in and that is step three, trust the process to find it. I should actually call this step master the process to find it, because that’s really what it’s going to be. So when you take this big step and you decide, “Okay, I’m doing this,” then you’re not half in or half out, you’re 100% in. That’s why my clients see the results that they do, because often, hiring a coach or making a decision to make an investment in yourself will commit you to that process, right? So as soon as my clients sign up, they’re very committed. Even before we have our first session, they will go out and take steps and start in their massive action because they put money on the line and they’ve made a commitment and they’ve made a decision for themselves, right? So they are all in for the work at that point. Then they know they’re like, “I’m willing to go through this process to create what I want.” Right? That’s very different than being in the space of, I don’t know if it’s going to work, right? So trust that you’re taking this huge step forward and you’re like, “Okay, I’m going to do this.” So let’s say you got the belief and you’ve made the decision that growth is going to happen and you’re going to be able to open up the way there. The way there will open up through the massive action that you will take. I promise you, it happens every time. So about the process. The process is basically the act of taking an action and then evaluating that action and the result of that action and then taking the next action. So the thing that you will need to have is trust in the process and trust in yourself that no matter what the result of what you do in that action, you will continue to learn from it and keep going until you get the results. Knowing that interviewing is like sorting, both interviewing and dating are very neutral. They are like sorting. It’s really a very neutral process. You go and you see if you’re a fit. If yes, great. If not, now you know and you move on to the next one until you find the one. So for example, with the dating apps. His profile seemed good. That job description and the company looked good on the website. Then you go and meet them, interact with them, and you form your conclusion from there, right? But you don’t know yet, right? So maybe you have a second interview. Maybe you don’t. Maybe you have a second date. Maybe you don’t. Not a problem either way because opportunities and people are abundant. You move on to the next one, all while in full belief that your company, your role, or in dating, your person totally exists. Sometimes you think that you might have one that seems great. You get all excited and then they ghost you. Or you even start dating someone for a while, go on second, third dates and it turns out that they aren’t actually what you thought, right? Then you break up. That’s okay. Not a problem. You will go through this process. I had to go on some dates. I had to go on some that seemed like they were going well. I really liked the person. Then it turns out that they weren’t willing to give me that level of investment that I was willing to give them and it didn’t work, right? But I was very clear on what I wanted and I was very focused on getting that. That is where you need to master the process. So when you are in your job search and you’ve decided you’re believing this is possible for you, you’ve made the decision and you’re in the process, you have to have commitment to your end results. So you have to get curious and compassionate along the way, right?
Decide how you want to think about it when you haven’t had the result yet. Decide that a rejection doesn’t end you. Decide that you’re committed to the end result. If you don’t have your result yet, you are not done. If you are willing to trust the process, work the process, master the process, then you will get your results. I promise you. Then I want you to look at the alternative because this is super interesting to me. So if you don’t believe and you accept what other people are saying. So say if you decide, yeah, it’s just lucky to have a job. The recruiter says I couldn’t do it. The recruiter says I just don’t have enough experience. Or you just believe that you’re not good enough because of what somebody else said or because you inherently believe some thoughts about yourself that were not helpful to you, then you don’t do the work to believe anything different. You don’t decide and you don’t commit. You don’t trust the process and therefore you can’t continue on through the process. Or you try quickly, but then you fail and stop. You stay living your life that you are now. You stay with what you have now. You don’t change. You know you want to, but you don’t. You stay in the discomfort of being where you are instead of moving into an equally uncomfortable place, which is going to be creating the desires that you want. You complain. You stay in survival mode versus creation mode. We’re not meant to live in survival mode. Our brain thinks we are, but today that doesn’t serve us, right? Because we know that if we’re going to create something new for ourselves, we can’t be in needy, graspy, survival energy, right? You spend your days thinking about a different life or different possibilities for you, but you stay in what you have. You stay in, yeah, that would be nice someday land. That is completely an option that you have and you can do that. But what I want you to know is that you don’t have to. Ironically, you think that stepping out, making a decision and committing is going to be more risky than where you are now. This is super ironic because let me explain to you. Why are you where you are now? Ask yourself, why are you there? If your reasons are because it’s familiar, it’s safe, I’m lucky to have it, I’m scared to leave. Do you like the reasons? So ask yourself, “Why are you currently where you are?” If your reasons are out of fear, scarcity, lack, comfort, do you like those reasons? Do you want to make your decisions from that place? Do you want that to be how you live? Because when you make decisions from fear in one area, you probably make them in other areas. That is what creates the difference between a life where you get to live what you want versus what you think you have to. So we stay in the job because we think it’s less risky to stay there. We think it’s safer and more comfortable, but is it really? So I really want you to question that, ask yourself, what are you risking by staying there? What are you actually risking by staying in a place where you don’t get what you know you deserve? What are you actually risking by staying in a place that keeps you small? What are you risking by not going all in on what you know you can have? So I invite you to consider, every day that you’re settling for something that you know you don’t really want, what is the real risk there? It’s actually bigger because you’re risking missing out on the amazing career, the amazing organization, and the amazing impact that you could be focusing your brainpower on every day. You’re risking missing out on the life you’re actually supposed to be living. You’re missing out on the true purpose of who you’re supposed to be serving. You’re missing out on all of that, because you think that staying where you are is riskier. So I’ve been through it myself. I’ve been through the change process, the discomfort process, and I’ve walked a ton of clients through it. So I know how it works. I know exactly what your brain is going to do and what it’s going to want to say and how it’s going to want to run and get scared and go back into the cave that you secretly love to hate. So I hired a coach when I left my relationship. She showed me how to level up, commit and create. I could not have done it without her. It makes me cry thinking about where I might still be if I hadn’t have made that decision.
So if you are curious about what it would take for you to create this change, you can visit my page at www.nataliefisher.ca/apply to check out how I get my clients through these powerful career changes and see if maybe this might be something that is right for you. Thank you so much for listening and I will talk to you next week. So if you love listening to this podcast and you’ve always wanted to coach with me, now is your chance. I am offering a few limited spots for free coaching sessions and it’s going to cost you one iTunes review, pretty good deal, right? So all you have to do is submit your iTunes review. Make sure you click the star rating and leave a written review. Take a screenshot of your submitted review and send it to my personal email at firstname.lastname@example.org. That’s all you have to do. I will send you a link to book your free coaching session until spots fill up. I’ll be sharing these with my community. So if you’ve got something you need coaching on, I can assure you, somebody else is going to benefit from that too. It’s going to be a win-win for all of us. So can’t wait to see your reviews coming in and I can’t wait to coach. Talk to you soon. Bye. Thanks for listening to this episode of Get a 6-Figure Job You Love Podcast. If you’re ready to dive deeper into your career mindset and start creating bigger, more impactful results in your career, join me at www.nataliefisher.ca/getstarted
. I’ll see you over there.