Everyone always talks about how to succeed in job interviews (myself included) but what there isn’t enough talk about how to fail, most people don’t achieve their dreams because they don’t want to fail.
 

So, in this post we’re going to talk about how to fail properly.
 
 

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What is Failure?

I have a lot of people say to me, “I have a real fear of failure,” and I’ll say “Well, what does that mean? What are you afraid of? What is failure? Why are you afraid of it?”
 

They’ll think about it and come back and say “You know what? I’ve never really thought about it that way.”
 

That’s one of the things I do when I am coaching a client. I always want to get to the cause of the issues. I don’t try and solve problems until I can get to the CAUSE of the problems first.
 

One of the main causes of problems is not understanding why. The first thing that’s important to do is to understand what is failure; how do you define it?
 
 

 
 

How do you define failed?

Well let’s take a look at the official definition of failure. Here is what you’d find if you looked it up:
 

Failure is: “The omission of expected or required action.”
 

So, if failure means we just didn’t do our own expected action or something else didn’t do our expected action, it just seems like not a big deal.
 

It’s like: “Okay. Well that happens right? There was an omission of action on either my part or your part.”
 

That’s what we’re called failure? Well, that’s not a big deal, right? It’s just something didn’t turn out the way we had planned it. That’s life.
 
 

 
 

How most people handle failure:

What most people do, is they just stop expecting, and therefore they never fail. They keep their expectations and their standards really low.
 

They just keep recycling the same life over and over never going out of their comfort zone. This means they never really have to deal with trying to let themselves down or not meet their own expectation.
 

So many of the clients that I talk to have that main issue, is they just don’t feel alive anymore because they’re not putting themselves out there because they’re afraid, and they don’t want to fail.

Why Are You Avoiding Failure?

“Why are you avoiding failing? What is the reason?”
 

It always comes down to avoiding wanting to feel something.
 

If failure is really just not meeting your own expectation or not taking the required action to meet our own expectations, then really what’s going to happen when that happens, is you are going to think some thought that’s going to create some negative feelings.
 

The real reason why we’re avoiding any kind of “Missing the mark,” any kind of not meeting our expectation is because we don’t want to feel what we’re going to feel when that happens.
 

Here’s what’s really interesting about that. When you don’t meet your own expectation, the only feeling that you’re going to end up having is based on what your decide to think.
 

You set out to do something, and you have and expectation of the result, and you miss that expectation. Now at that point, you get to decide what you’re going to make that mean.
 

You get to decide what you’re going to think about that. If you think about that in a way that hurts your feelings, if you think about that in a way that’s dejecting and disappointing, then you’re going to experience that negative emotion.
 

If you think of it as, oh well I guess that didn’t work, what am I going to try next? Then it completely changes how you feel! Try it.
 
 

 
 

Failure is part of the game (Accept it, learn it and embrace it)

So what if you set yourself up for the fact that things might not work out ahead of time, before you start any kind of action.
 

If you do this, you’re going to be much more willing, first of all, to take the action, and second of all, to take the risk that most success takes.
 

To put yourself outside of your comfort zone, to try something you haven’t done is pretty risky. But what are you risking?
 

Failure. Yes You could fail, but if you know if you fail, you’re going to take care of yourself, you’re going to be fine, you’re going to try something else.
 

Then you’re going to be much more willing to do it.
 

If you’re much more willing to fail, you’re going to double your rate of failure, maybe triple it. You’re going to have a much higher chance of getting success.
 
 

 
 

In conclusion

And there you have it.
 

Some thoughts on failure and why it’s good for you to fail as much as possible. A little unorthodox yes, but trust me, the more you fail the closer you are to succeeding.
 

Just think about it. What if you were one failure away from exactly what you want?
 

So what now?
 

You failed an interview– well first of all good for you, many people don’t even apply for the job, or even go to the interview in the first place.
 

IF you want to get super prepared for your next interview I encourage you to grab my free guide by clicking below.

What you’ll get inside the guide:

• Top-ten examples of stories that have proven to be impressive interview answers

 

• The S.A.R.I. formula breakdown of how to answer these questions

 

• The step-by-step of why it works

 

• Fill-in-the-blank templates for each question so, you’ll be able to fill in the blanks and get going!

 

• Now you’ll need to come up with your own stories! (You can steal the ones in the guide if they apply to you though too, I don’t mind)

 

If you are still getting stuck because you can’t think of your own stories…

I’ve included 25 questions that you can ask yourself to come up with your stories much quicker!

You’ll get all this in a beautifully designed workbook prepared specifically for you to prepare for your interviews.

By the end of working through this guide, you’ll be feeling confident and ready for any situational interview that comes your way!

Here is some feedback I’ve gotten from this guide, and I get new emails like this every day, and they NEVER get old!

Do you know one person who could benefit from the information in this post? If so, do your friend a favour and share this info with him/her.

And remember, the current system isn’t perfect, but you can outsmart it. I’m here to prove to you that you do have what it takes.

I’ll see you next time and I can’t wait!

In Work & Life

I’ve got your back

– XO Natalie