Ep #239: When You Feel Like You Can’t Win – LinkedIn Post Teardown

Have you ever felt like you’re doing everything right in your job search but still not getting the results you want? In today’s episode, I break down a powerful mindset shift that can help you break free from frustration and stagnation. We’ll discuss a LinkedIn post from a job seeker who feels stuck despite years of experience, degrees, and certifications. But what if the real issue isn’t the job market—it’s the way we think about it?

 

Using “the model,” a framework that examines how circumstances, thoughts, feelings, actions, and results are interconnected, I’ll show you how to identify limiting beliefs that may be holding you back. You’ll learn why repeating the same actions without change keeps you stuck and how shifting your mindset can lead to real career breakthroughs. If you’re feeling defeated by the job search process, this episode will help you regain confidence and take back control.

 

Sign up for my free three-day life-changing series, The Career Creator’s Revolution, where you’ll learn how to build the foundation to start implementing the three most important skills for landing your premium role.

 

Unlock Your Maximum Career Impact with our 6-Month Mastermind designed for ambitious women ready to uplevel. This mastermind provides the skills to maximize your impact, advance in your career, and reduce stress—all while having fun. Click here to book a call!

 

If you’re ready to take this work deeper, the 6-Figure Curriculum is opening very soon! Click here to register for the VIP waitlist!

 

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

 

  • Why your mindset is the key to job search success
  • How to recognize and change limiting beliefs that keep you stuck
  • The power of self-awareness in shifting your job search approach
  • Why repeating the same strategies without change leads to stagnation
  • How to take control of your job search by changing your internal narrative
  • The importance of emotional risk-taking in securing better job opportunities

 

Listen to the Full Episode:

 

 

SUBSCRIBE FOR WEEKLY INSPIRATION ON

APPLE PODCASTS | SPOTIFY

 

Featured on the Show:

 

  • If you leave me a review, I’ve got a freebie for you. My 8 Reasons Why You Get Interviews But No Offers course is usually $97. However, if you leave me a review on your favorite podcast app, I will give you access to this course that has been responsible for landing people offers. All you have to do is email me a screenshot of your review!
  • You can still watch my three-day training: Breaking the Rules! It’s all about how to get creative, be resourceful, and try something different to create a thriving career that you love. Click here to sign up.
  • Check out my YouTube Channel!
  • Let’s connect! Add me on LinkedIn or send me an email.

 

DOWNLOAD  TRANSCRIPT

 

Hello, hello. This is the Get a Six-Figure Job You Love and Thrive podcast. This is episode 239.When you feel like you can’t win, LinkedIn post, tear down. Stay tuned.

Hey there, I’m Natalie Fisher. I’m a six-figure business builder, a mom of a two-year-old, the recoverer of a 10-year narcissistic relationship, and now in a super healthy one. And most of all, I’m a human who’s figuring this out with you. This podcast is about how to use your mind to thrive in your career and create the subconscious breakthroughs that you need to get there. The subconscious blocks that you don’t even know you have to achieving your highest levels of earning and your best zone of genius moments and days in the flow. That is my goal for you. Let’s dive into the episode.

And before we dive into today’s episode, just one more thing. I’m the coach who will always point you back in the direction of your own wisdom. And so before you listen to my episode or anybody’s episode, I want to remind you of that, because I know from a lot of personal experience that anything is only as effective as the amount of resonance that it has within your uniquely built brain, with how it’s going to blend with your experiences, with your history, with your past, with your existing beliefs.

And so something is only going to work if it feels right to you and you believe in it, or you want to do the work to believe in it. And that’s where I can help you. Your inner wisdom is infinitely more valuable than mine or anybody else’s for that matter. When it comes to getting the outcomes that you are here to get. I’m happy that you’re here. I’m glad that we’re on the planet at the same time, and I can’t wait to help you transform your life and career.

Hello, hello. So I’m doing something a little bit different today. And I struggled to figure out how I was going to do it because I was afraid that if I did this, people would think, because you know, okay, I’ll have to go back and explain it.

So I saw a post on LinkedIn that was from somebody who was really struggling with their job hunt. And she had some really good points and some really interesting lines of thinking. And in that moment, I could instantly relate to her so much and also have been on the other side of it and be able to see how she’s thinking about it all wrong to get her results. And so when I saw this post, I struggle because I see a lot of posts like this and I want to be like, hey, check out this thing that I do. Check out this thing that I’ve made to help you check out this, but I don’t want to do that because that’s spammy. And it just makes people initially think, okay, you just want to sell your services. And you’re just like a greedy, money hungry coach who just wants to sell your services. And I’m thinking, and that’s not who I am. Those of you who know me, that’s not who I am.

So it’s difficult to be like, oh, here, like check this out because it doesn’t, I can’t trust that it comes, that people can see that as coming from a place of like, this is actually going to help you. So what I thought, and I couldn’t also just do a snappy comment that was actually going to be super, super useful to her. And there’s a character limit for the comments.

So what I decided to do was I was to record this podcast and basically read you her LinkedIn post, and then share with you thoughts that will be incredibly helpful. And I won’t reveal her name and it’ll hopefully be, be from like, and I can explain here. I can say this is from the spirit of I have been where you are. I’ve come to the other side of it. And these are the lessons that I want to teach you. And anybody who wants to listen, who wants to get to the other side of that struggling state, and that’s how I’m going to do it.

So this is what feels good to me. This is what I’ve decided I’m going to do in this podcast. So let me read her post, and then I will go through the things that I think will be the most helpful from being where she is.

So first I’ll preface a little bit with when I first started my coaching business, I was rejected about 30 times. It is, I’ve been doing this for 11 years. It took me about five years to get it actually to a point of success, where in 2020, I was ready to make the jump. And so I was rejected so much. It was so difficult. I wasn’t making very much money at all. I was putting so much more money into the business than I was getting out of it. And so when I read her post, I was like, oh, I can totally relate to this in so many ways. However, I want to just like grab her and be like, don’t give up because you can do this, right? But it’s like, it’s not that easy. I wouldn’t have been ready to hear that information when I was in the struggles of it too. So let me read this to you. She says, I feel completely defeated.

We’re barely into 2025 and I’m giving everything I’ve got and still getting absolutely nowhere. I don’t even know what to do. I really don’t. I thought things would change this year for the better, but it would, but for it to be a fresh start after such a long rough year last year, but here I am stuck in the same place again, still facing the same struggles, same as capitalized. It’s like nothing I do makes a difference. I recently had an interview where they said my answers were too short. They liked my experience and what I could bring to the table, but I didn’t go into enough detail in quotation marks. Let me say this, I’ve been told before that I gave too much detail and that I need to keep things short and to the point. So lately my answers are more concise and straight to the point. And now that’s a problem too. Now it’s not enough. I just can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong.

What do they even want from me? To make it worse, I’ve been offered another low paying job, just like last year, barely enough to survive. I have seven years experience. I have degrees. I have certifications and I’m still stuck with these low ball offers. This is the reality of trying for years and still coming up totally empty. After two years of doing everything I can to land a decent job, it feels like I’ve hit a dead end. This is my last post. I can’t keep doing this. Thank you for the few of you who have been kind enough to offer support.

It means more than I can express, but honestly, something needs to change. The job market is broken and it’s crushing people like me. Okay. So do you feel this post? I mean, I feel this post in my bones. I’m like, oh, I get you. I get you. I get you. And so there’s a few things that I want to point out. I’m like, I don’t even know where to start because there’s so much.

So first of all, she’s measuring this by the time she has been searching. So two years of the same struggles with the same being in this, feeling stuck in the same place. So the two years, she’s been in a challenge for two years and she has a brain and she’s been thinking thoughts for two years. And so when this happens, when you feel like you’re in the same place facing the same struggle, it’s because you’ve been thinking the same way. And so you’ve been getting the same results. And so there’s a tool that I talk about a lot. It’s called the model. I use it heavily myself. It’s only one of the tools that I use, but this model will essentially prove that that’s what’s going on.

This is the base of her problem is like, I am thinking the same things because that’s why I’m stuck in the same place with the same struggles. So I’ll do an overview of the model here because I want to give you a really good idea of how you can implement different thinking yourself. So the model has five categories. The first is the circumstance. The second is the thought. The third is the feeling. The fourth is the action. And the fifth is the result. Now, each one of these categories is, I’ll explain each one of them because they each serve a very important purpose.

So the circumstance is the facts, the cold, hard, boring facts. The circumstances can be, in order for something to be a circumstance, it has to be something that everybody agrees upon. It can be proven in a court of law.Um, it is something that we just collectively know is true. So somebody, like anybody in any country would agree with you on this thing, right? Like you could prove that your name is what your name is because you have a birth certificate that says your name on it. Or you can prove that you are currently standing in front of a tree because we all know what a tree is, right? Like an oak tree, for example, or a tree that we all know what certain things are, right? We all have collective agreements about these things.

They’re called collective agreements. So that’s a circumstance. And so, for example, the circumstance of not working, we might call it unemployed.Collectively, we might say, okay, when you’re unemployed, I know what that means. And I actually took the liberty of finding some other ways to say it so that it could be, it could sound more boring and more neutral. Because the goal of the circumstance portion of the model is to make it non-emotionally charged. And sometimes the word unemployed can be emotionally charged. We can feel like unemployment is a really bad thing. It could mean something bad about us. And this isn’t because it does ultimately mean that. It’s just because people have kind of given it that connotation. And when you hear someone say they’re unemployed, that doesn’t sound very… And the first thing that you think of isn’t something amazing.

Now, people have joked and said it can be called fun-employed because you don’t have anything to do and you can have fun, which is then gives it a completely different feel, right? So some more neutral ways of saying unemployed, which could go in the circumstance line, are as follows. You could say not under a work contract, not bound by a work agreement, working a current employment, not without a current employment contract, not engaged in work contract at this time, not in an active employment agreement, not currently in a work arrangement, not part of a work contract, without a formal work contract, not in a contract work position, not associated with a work contract. So every position has a contract, whether it’s temporary one or a permanent one.

So these are ways of saying that you’re unemployed in a much more boring, neutral way. So see how those feel because we want to remove any emotional charge from the circumstance line. Okay. So then we move on to the thought. And the thought is where we then have opinions where everybody can jump in and have a different thought about the same thing, right? So for this person’s post, her thoughts about being unemployed are very, like they’re going to lead and trigger very negative feelings, right? We can even see that her feeling is defeated. She’s even stated her feeling in her post here. So we can already skip ahead and say, okay, her feeling is defeated. And the thoughts that are causing that are things like, I’m stuck in the same place and facing the same struggles. And that feels defeating.

However, if I were to talk to her, I know that’s not true because two years, like she probably has been doing a lot of the same things and thinking a lot of the same thoughts. But even so, she’s still made more progress than she can see herself because she’s only looking at what hasn’t worked and the fact that she’s not where she wants to be yet. But you can’t do something for two years and not make any progress whatsoever. That’s not possible. But you can very easily delete any progress, any lessons, any insights that you have gained along the way. And that is what she is doing.

She is deleting them. Our brain is really good at deleting them, right? And so she moves on to explain a frustrating example, which humanly I agree that is frustrating. And I’ve had a lot of paradoxes given to me along the years of doing business and working in a corporate job. We do face things like this, like paradoxes, like one person tells you one thing and then another person tells you another thing. And then you’re like, how do I even win? What do I even do? And you just want to throw the towel in and be like, I’m done. So I get that.

So the thoughts she’s having, they are, I’m stuck in the same place and I’m facing the same struggles. So that is her thought. It is not actually a fact because it can’t be proven in a court of law. I could disprove it if I spoke to her easily, I could disprove it. I have lots of questions I would ask her and I would point out instantly a lot of things she’s actually done differently and how she’s a lot farther ahead than she thinks. And I would start by making her feel much better about her past two years.

Secondly, I would say she’s measuring her success on the time or her success slash failure in the time she’s been in the job search. So this is something people attach a lot of clout to. They’re like, well, I’ve been doing this for two years. And it’s like, yes, but if you do the same thing for two years and you don’t get, it’s like the best example I can think of is weightlifting. So you might be lifting weights for two years, but if you only lift the five pounders and you don’t ever move up in weight, then you’re not going to gain the muscle that you want to gain because you’re simply not requiring enough of yourself. You’re not doing anything different.

You’re not pushing yourself. You’re not moving out of your comfort zone. So with the job search, it comes to, you haven’t taken enough emotional risks. You haven’t done enough different things. You haven’t spoken to enough different people. You haven’t figured out how to communicate your value in a way that stands out in your specific unique value in your industry.

There’s so many things like you haven’t changed your own internal identity. So you are in the same place facing the same struggles because you feel like you’re the same person, right? Even though this can be disproven. Even if it’s little things, we have to start with the little things that we’ve done that have moved us forward, which exist, right? But again, it’s our brain is expert at deleting these things.

So that’s the thought, the main thought I think she’s referring to that’s causing her to feel defeated. And then she looks for evidence for how she’s defeated, right? She’s like, well, I do this and I do that. And I did do this differently, right? I even came to the table with shorter answers because that’s the feedback I got.

And then they still told me that it didn’t work, right? And so she’s like, then she piles on top of it and says, to make it even worse, I got another low paying offer, right? And so now she’s seeing everything as a negative result, right? Just like last year, just like last year, because it’s the same, this is in keeping with same place, same struggles. I got the same results, just like I did last year. And then she goes on to talk about her experience and her certifications and the fact that she has a degree and she has all this stuff to offer.

And then she says, this is the reality of trying for years and still coming up empty. So after two years of doing everything I can to land a decent job, it feels like I’ve hit a dead end. So this is her looking at the things she has, but making them irrelevant, saying, it doesn’t even matter that I have these things, right? It doesn’t even matter that I have seven years of project management experience.

It doesn’t matter that I have a degree. It doesn’t matter that I have certifications because the job market is broken and it’s crushing people like me. So she’s basically saying, I have all these things and I’ve done everything that I possibly can, but the job market is broken. And so it’s not my fault. So she’s unconsciously exalting responsibility from herself, right? And again, I’m not criticizing her. And if you’re, if you ever hear this, whoever wrote this post, I want you to know, I’m not judging you. This is just love. And because I know what this feels like. Okay.

So I really want you to hear that it’s not judgment, but it’s just not useful, right? It’s not useful to blame the job market. It’s not useful to absolve yourself of responsibility, even though, you know, people don’t know that they’re doing this. This is essentially what happens, right? So, so let me just finish up this model and then I’ll go into a more useful way of thinking about these exact same circumstances. Okay. So this is what everyone always wants. They want to skip through the initial awareness phase, and then they want to just be like, okay, but tell me how to think differently.

Tell me what to do next. And it’s important, like, we can’t just jump to that because the awareness is the biggest breakthrough. Like when you can see how you’re creating this for yourself, you can then do something about it, right? And if you sit with it, you will start to see how you can do things differently.

Now a coach, that’s what a coach does. They speed you up in saying, hey, these are all the different things you can think, pick one and run with that instead, right? And they’ll give you really good ideas of how to think of something. But the awareness itself is huge, because then you’ll see, oh, I’m like, I understand why this is happening. And I can start to adjust my mindset, right? Now, if you haven’t done this before, you won’t have the skills and the flexibility to, or the options to adjust your mindset, if you haven’t been practiced at it. And that’s why coaches can really help you out there. But let’s go back into it.

So let’s recap. So we’ve got the circumstance, I’m going to say, not currently bound by a work agreement. And we can put there in two years, although it doesn’t make sense because she said she did get a low, a low ball offer last year, and now she’s getting another one. So it sounds like she has had offers, but she’s not counting them because that timeline doesn’t actually make sense. So I’m just going to say not bound by a work agreement at this time. Okay.

Thought is, I am stuck in the same place, still facing the same struggles, feeling defeated. Actions. She’s telling herself, she’s bringing attention to all the things she’s done that she’s received the negative feedback for saying, I’m changing everything. I’m doing everything I can, but it’s not working. And then she’s bringing it, then she’s accepting a low paying job. That’s another action and making her experience irrelevant saying it doesn’t even matter basically. And the results that she’s creating are the exact same results. So her result is still not bound by a work agreement or bound by a lower quality work agreement that she would like. Cause actually, yeah, that’s not true.

She actually is, she is getting offers, but she’s not counting them. And so basically it’s like, that could be a way of telling the universe like, oh yeah, that’s not good enough. I don’t want that. Right. And it’s like, you can be really appreciative of the fact that you got that offer and you can figure out why you got that offer. Like obviously somebody does want value your work. Now they might not have the capacity to pay you for it and that’s okay, but they still want you to work for them. Right. And that, that means something, even though people will discount it. And I’m not saying you should take it. I’m saying you should figure out why they want to offer you that job. What is it that they value from you? Right. And then anyways, I’m jumping ahead. Cause I’m going to explain the way we need to be thinking about this for a more effective result. So the result that she ends up giving herself is that she ends up continuing to make less money and be in a low quality work contract that is well on her standards, barely enough to survive.

But if we were to make it factual, we would say, this is exactly how much money this contract is offering or how much money I’m making. Right. So there we have it. That’s what is called an unintentional model. It’s called an unintentional model because it’s not helpful. It doesn’t move you forward into what you want. It keeps you where you, it keeps her barely surviving basically. So she has been barely surviving. And that’s her words, because I don’t know what that even means. I would say she has enough to survive. That’s great. Right. A lot of people don’t. So let’s move in to what some intentional models could look like that would change the way that she’s feeling about this. Okay.

So circumstances the same, we’ll call it not currently bound by work contract. What are some different thoughts that she could have? Okay. Now this is a different episode. And I feel like I have to preface this because if your nervous system is feeling unsafe, if you’re feeling anxiety, if you feel like you’re going to lose your house, or if you feel like you have no, like, if you feel like you’re in survival mode, like you could die, like you’re intellectually, no, you won’t die, but your feelings are, oh my God, I could lose everything and I could die. Like you don’t have your basic needs met, or you might not have them met. Your nervous system is on edge.

It’s not feeling safe. And therefore this process that I’m walking you through will be difficult to grasp. And you might not even be able to grasp it. People whose nervous system isn’t regulated and they don’t know how to regulate it. It’s going to be very difficult to grasp, just grasp new thoughts. So it’s like, you can’t just grasp new thoughts if your nervous system isn’t regulated.

And that’s why my program, I have a whole section on that because you have to learn to do that for yourself. You have to learn to create security within yourself and teach yourself that you’re safe so that you can go move forward and have the most success that you want to have. Because this process of new thoughts won’t stick unless your nervous system is feeling safe.

But anyways, let’s assume that your nervous system is feeling safe and that you’re open to new thoughts and that you’re ready for them. Let’s proceed from there. So the circumstance would be not currently bound by work agreement and some thoughts that you can have are, so first I would start with questions.

It’s hard for me to actually do this because I’m not speaking to her. So I don’t know exactly what she’s thinking, but, and I don’t want to just plaster positive thoughts that I think might work, but I do have some ideas of what would be better than what she’s got right now.

Okay, so first thing I would do is I would have her look at all the experiences she’s had in the last two years and show her the power that she’s had to create them, right? So she’s obviously been interviewing, she’s obviously been getting interviews, right? So she’s had interviews because we know that she’s gotten different feedback from different interviewers. So she’s had the power to create interviews. And so that means that I can prove to her that she causes things to happen because she’s caused these interviews to happen, right? So the way that she caused them was through her thinking and through her feeling and through her action.

So she thought something that created her to feel something that got her to take the action of applying for these positions, right? And what she wrote, what she did, how she conducted herself up until that point meant that she caused those interviews to happen. So first I’d want to bring her back into her power and say, how did you cause those interviews to happen, right? And then she would probably tell me what she did. And then I would be able to say, see, look, you do have some power here.

You have done something, right? Because there’s people who haven’t done any of that, right? The level before where she is, is people are feeling stuck. They might be feeling really depressed and they won’t even apply to jobs, right? So they won’t even get that far to get that feedback, to even be frustrated at the level of problem that you’re at right now, right? Like there’s people who won’t even do that, right? They’ll just be paralyzed in fear. So you are taking some action, which means you have the power to cause things to happen, right? So that might be a thought that might help her.

Now it all depends on if it resonates with her or not, because like, again, if you’re not open to new thoughts, if your nervous system is not feeling safe, nothing I say will help you until that’s taken care of first. But if she’s open to a new thought, she might say, hmm, yeah, you’re right. Actually, I did cause those interviews to happen. And she might start to think of some smart things that she did, or some smart things that she wrote on her resume or cover letter, or some actions she took to get her that far. And she might start to think, hmm, okay, yeah, you’re right. I did cause those to happen. And then that new thought of, I cause interviews to happen might start to make her feel much better, right? Because as long as you can cause interviews to happen, it means that you can always interview again. You can always get better. And you always have chances.

Like you always have unlimited chances at the job if you can cause interviews to happen. And if you believe that, you’re fine, right? For the first part, then you’ve got to cause job offers to happen. But you can build your belief up to the fact that you can do that too, right? But first we got to start somewhere.

So that might be a really good thought for someone to have, right? Instead of saying I’m stuck in the same place, facing the same struggles, you might think to yourself, yeah, but I cause interviews to happen. And that’s something, right? It’s like saying I always have opportunities, right? So that’s one example of a new thought that you might use in order to feel differently. So that thought might cause more empowerment as a feeling in the model.

So when you say to yourself, I cause interviews to happen, how do you feel? You might probably feel more empowered, a little bit more confident, and a little bit more in control of the situation, right? So then if you’re feeling a little bit more in control and more empowered, and your feeling is different, then your actions are going to be different, right? You might start thinking, okay, let’s see how I can create some other opportunities. Let’s go back and look at what I did to create these. What did I write? What did I do? Let’s look at how I operated back then when I created these, and let’s start to create some more, right? And then you might start to get into some more momentum and be like, okay, okay, I got to create some more.

And then from there, your result is already opened up. You’ve already opened up more opportunity. You become, you maybe start to think, oh, you know what? I’m really good at creating opportunity for myself, and I’m creating better and better ones as I go, right? So just a more helpful thought will create more helpful thoughts, right? And versus a negative thought will create more negative thoughts.

It’s kind of like that saying, I don’t know who said it, but bodies in motion, stay in motion, bodies at rest, stay at rest. Like that’s where momentum comes from or doesn’t, right? So, and this is a very small part, like, this is one model that she could take on, that somebody could take on to move them forward faster. However, there’s a lot of other models that she’s got going on here that will need to be solved.

Like she’ll need to, like the paradox thing, she’ll need to solve that. She’ll need to solve, she’ll need to come to a resolution around all these things that she thinks she’s done wrong or things that haven’t worked and she’ll need to reframe them. And that’s why it’s so crucial to do this mindset work, because this is the kind of thing that allows you to create any goal you want to create, any success you want to create.

It allows you to see how you have the power to dig into your mindset and actually see what you were thinking that was actually leading you in the wrong direction or keeping you stuck in the same place with the same struggles, right? And the power of the model is just one of the tools. So let’s say that she’s now thinking in a more empowered place and she’s creating more opportunities, right? And she’s getting these more interviews, right? Now she’s going to have the problem of thinking, but I can’t do anything wrong because I can’t figure out, or I can’t do anything right because I can’t figure out what they want from me, right? So that thought put in in a different model is going to create a result. And that’s probably not going to be the greatest result.

So she could end up in a loop of just interviewing, interviewing, interviewing. And if she’s thinking, I can’t do anything right. I don’t know what they want from me.She’s going to be feeling confused, frustrated. And then the action that she takes, the way that she shows up in the interview is going to be muddled and it’s going to be all over the place. And it’s going to be uncertain. It’s going to maybe be people-pleasy trying to do what people want. And that result isn’t going to create the job offer that she wants either, right? So that’s another model. And this episode, I’m not sure how long it is right now, but it’s already a half an hour long.

So I could do a whole nother one on the unintentional interview model that she’s got and an intentional interview, an intentional interview model that will get her closer to the results. So essentially this is what we do in my lifetime job search program, Get a Six-Figure Job You Love and Thrive. It’s called the Six-Figure Curriculum.

And we do these exercises every single week. We do the coaching and there’s a very in-depth module inside my program on the model and exactly how to do your models. But you can put anything you want in the result line of the model, and then you can work backwards towards it, right? So if you put six figure job in the result, then there is a set of actions, feelings, thoughts, and circumstances that will create that six-figure job.

And the circumstance can be no six-figure job, right? Not currently bound by a work agreement in a six-figure job. And it’s going to be the thoughts, feelings, and actions in that middle that are going to create that result. And there’s lots of different models that you have to create that are going to get you on board with what works for you.

It’s going to be different for you. It’s going to be different for everybody who goes through. They need to create models that work for them, but the tool shows you what’s possible, right? So I want to go through the model again. So I’ll just do a quick one for the interview, an unintentional and then an intentional. Okay. Cause I don’t want to leave you hanging.So the unintentional model for her interviewing is I can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong, right? That’s the thought. Okay. So let’s go back.

Circumstance is, let’s say actively interviewing. I don’t know for sure, but it sounds like it based on what she said, she has to be actively interviewing to be getting this feedback, right? So the circumstance is actively interviewing. Ideally to make it more neutral and more specific, we’d want to put been on five interviews in like two weeks or whatever, or we would want to say how many interviews she’s been on and how long of a time, but we’ll just put actively interviewing for the sake of the example. Okay. And then her thought is I just can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong. That’s her thought, right? Her feeling is probably frustrated, could be defeated as well.

She would have to tell me to confirm, but I’m guessing. And from frustration, she’s going to take that low paying offer, be bitter about it, complain on LinkedIn about her seven years experience degree. She’s going to stop posting, say she can’t keep doing this, basically give up is what I’m getting from her post. Tokenly thank people for support, but not really, like not really make gratitude any focus of what she’s had come her way, not as her main dominant feeling anyway. And again, no judgment. I understand it’s difficult to be grateful when you feel like you’re getting scraps. I get that. However, it’s not useful to dismiss what you do get because you are getting some stuff. Like she is getting an offer. She’s like, yes, it’s not the offer she wants. It’s not for the money she wants. She has an offer. Lots of people, you know, would be, would kill. They’d give their left pinky to have the offer she has, but she’s not seeing it that way. Right. And that’s okay. I understand. I’m not judging, but again, not helpful.

So she’s, this is her, sorry, I keep getting off track, but hopefully it’s really clear in the end. So circumstances, actively interviewing, thought, I can’t figure out what I’m doing wrong. Feeling probably frustrated or defeated or some kind of negative feeling that doesn’t really make you feel inspired to move forward.

Actions, take the low paying offer, be bitter about the low paying offer, not grateful for the offer, complain on LinkedIn about all your experience and what you’re doing and the fact that you can’t get a job that you want. Tell yourself that this is the reality of trying for years and feel like it’s a dead end. Actually, yeah, the feeling could be, feel like it’s a dead end, like feel like it’s hopeless. I feel like from what that statement, her feeling might be hopeless. And then quit posting, basically quit altogether and throw a little bit of gratitude to the people who have helped you. Blame the job market. That’s a big action. And then result, you tell me what’s the result from that model. Okay. Okay. So let’s do real quick here because the episode is getting long. Let’s do the intentional, a better potential intentional model.

So it doesn’t have to be this, but again, this is just me guessing from somebody’s words here. So circumstance, actively interviewing, thought, I’m going to name a bunch of thoughts that could be picked and then I’ll pick one. So I’m going to say, I’m actively getting interviews. That must mean I’m doing something right. I wonder what I’m doing in these interviews that I could be doing better. I wonder where I have been disconnecting with the value that they need and the value that I can give. Because obviously I have a lot of value. I have seven years experience in project management degrees and I have capability to solve problems. Could be thinking the value that I give hasn’t been fully realized yet. Could be they’re confused. I don’t know what they’re not getting about my ability here. That would lead to curiosity.

So each one of these thoughts that I’m giving is going to lead to a feeling and each feeling is likely going to be more positive than the ones she had before in her unintentional. So could be this active interviewing means that there’s still room for me and what I offer because otherwise people wouldn’t be wasting their time on interviewing me. You could say they’re giving me feedback.

It’s contradictory feedback and I don’t know what to do with it yet, but I’m still getting feedback. At least people are responding to me. I’m in an active pursuing of this job. You could say I’m doing it no matter what. You could choose to think I’m doing it no matter what. I resonate with her specifically when she says she got this contradictory feedback because I got a lot of it myself. People would say, Oh, don’t make long videos. Don’t make long posts. Nobody reads them. And other people would say, Oh no, I love your long posts, but you should just make them a little bit more concise or like, and then some people would just like them. Right. So it’s like, it’s very contradictory feedback.

So the conclusion I came to this was I can do a little bit of everything. Right. And that’s the closest I’ll come to me making people happy.However, I’m not trying to keep people happy. I’m just trying to capture the most people’s attention that I can. Right. So that was my answer, but I had to come to terms with the paradox as well. So for that contradictory feedback, I might think something like, okay, I have to start to read the interviewer, figure out what it is that they need. And maybe at the very beginning, I’ll ask them, you know, are you a detailed person or do you like it straight to the point? Because there’s different people.

Some people like to hear more information and some people don’t. So I might start to say, you know what, I got to know my audience and I’m going to start asking them right up front. Are you the kind of person who likes longer answers or shorter answers? And that might even just at the very beginning, you’re going to get an idea of who this person is and how to communicate with them. And you’re taking very careful thought in considering them before you even start answering. Right. So that’s what I might think.

I might say, I’m going to check in before I decide on an answering strategy. I’m also going to think I am so much more confident in interviews because I’ve already done a bunch of them. And so I know what to ask now. And I know how to strategize in order to get the person the information that they need. I’m so much closer to that now. And so you start to ramp up, right? You start to ramp up with excitement of like, okay, I know what to do next. I know how to do this next interview in a different way that I’ve never tried before. I know how to ask this new question that I’ve never asked before. And then you can start to get excited about doing something differently. And when you do this on a compounding level, like you do this over and over and over, you’re not going to be feeling like you’re in the same place, facing the same struggles. You will not feel like that. I assure you, because you’ve had new insights.

Now, most people not getting new insights. This person who posted this, she’s not getting new insights. She hasn’t spoken to a coach that can show her these things, or she wouldn’t be here posting that. She wouldn’t be spending her energy posting that. She’d be spending her energy using her power to create the interviews and then using her power to communicate in them differently every time, using her power to believe in her results that she can create it. And she’d be off doing that stuff. She’d be too busy to be posting this. I can guarantee you she wouldn’t be posting this. My clients never post things like this. And there’s a reason. It’s because they’re trained better. They know, right? And again, I didn’t know what I didn’t know either, so I’m not judging.

But let’s take any of those thoughts, okay? Any of those thoughts that I gave, let’s say circumstance actively interviewing thought. Let’s pick the thought as I’m learning how to interview and ask better questions so I can give better answers. That’s a long one, but let’s say there’s that one. Then your feeling would be curious, more motivated, more empowered, more confident. Maybe like you’ve moved ahead more. And then your action would be to start asking different questions.

It would be to start researching the interviewer a little more. It would be to ask questions up front. It might be to research or to ask them. And I have more resources on this in my three-day training on exactly what you want to be asking. But you’d be into the research of the problem solving of the job offer results, right? You wouldn’t be complaining about what’s not working. I hope that’s getting across. And then your result would be the six-figure job offer that you want. That would be the result. And you would just keep working the model until you got the result that you were looking for, okay? And then there’s a lot of other stuff.

You don’t want to get distracted. You don’t want to take other, like you don’t want to give energy to stuff that isn’t what you want. You want to be laser focused into the result that you want in the models that you want. But again, our brain, it goes off. It goes in all these different directions. We hear something from somebody that brings us down or we believe and then we take it on. And then that thought goes in our model, like a terrible thought that someone else gave us, right? Or usually our own thoughts, like, I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I can’t do anything right. Like those are terrible, terrible thoughts.

So, well, unless they work for you, you got to do your own model. But anyways, that’s it. This was a long episode. I’m wrapping it up. And I do have something else to say. So if you want to get the A to Z, you want to get more information, you want to finally start doing something about your job search, and you want to get out of the stuck mode, my three-day series is the place to go. So I have a three-day series. It captures the key breakthroughs you need to have in order to stay motivated, to get the job you actually want. It creates a new paradigm for how you operate.

So kind of how I talked about on this episode, but I give you different, more in-depth frameworks where you can actually get into the state that you need to be in to create the momentum to get that job, no matter what. So an example I use is Olympic gold medalist winners. They’re competing against the best of the best. Okay. And what are the winners do different? So I had a teacher once, and she was a gold medalist winner. She won a rowing gold medal. And she pointed out, she’s like, we won because we were never looking at what the other racers were doing. She’s like, she actually showed a video of her win. And she showed the other boats were always looking out, the people in the boats were looking out to see how far ahead they were, how far behind they were.

And she’s like, ours, we never looked sideways. We were only looking forward, right? And she’s like, they always base their focus on what was right ahead of them. The series that I put on for the three days, it will show you how to be honest with yourself about what you need to be thinking, feeling and doing to create the six figure success that you want. And we can do it in a few months, or it can take you a few years to do it. It is up to you. It is not up to the market. I can promise you that. So if you want to sign up for that, the link is in the show notes. I will see you there and I’ll see you on the podcast. Well, you will hear me on the podcast next week. Thank you so much. Have a great week.

Hey there. Thanks for listening. If you’re new here, I’m Natalie Fisher. And if you want to take this work even deeper than the podcast, where I help you apply it and I help you dig into your own personal situation, you have two ways to do that. The first is in my signature program, the Six Figure Curriculum, where we go through everything you need. And I personally help you weekly to land that six figure premium role. If you want to take the work on the podcast deeper, the links for those are in the show notes below. To go right away, you can go to www.nataliefisher.ca forward slash start.