Hello, welcome to today’s episode. I’m going to be talking about your identity and how to shift it from the inside out in order to change the results you’re getting on the outside. So most of the things that you read that we see posted are external things. They’re like do this, say this, right? They’re actions to take, things to say, words to use. And I like to bring in the internal. So really what you are seeing right now, so if you’re seeing no job on the outside or a job you don’t like or you want to leave, you’re not having what you want on the outside right now.

It’s because it’s a reflection of something going on within you, in your core identity right now. And doing all those actions of saying the right thing, the right thing that someone told you to say, or sending out a certain amount of resumes, none of that really does anything for your identity. It doesn’t shift your identity. It can’t. It’s just a surface level thing, right? I talk about the iceberg a lot and that’s what we see on the tip of the iceberg. But underneath the iceberg, we can see the depth of what’s really going on beneath that as to why you’re not seeing the results you want on the top of the iceberg, okay? Because that’s basically all people see is what’s going on on top, right? So the problem that most people face when they’re not getting the result that they want is that they are taking action from the wrong identity or from an identity that doesn’t serve them.

So for example, if somebody is struggling to land a job they want, if they keep getting rejected, if they keep getting these results, that happens to everybody. Even if you’re in the right energy, you’re going to have some roadblocks. You’re not going to get accepted. It’s not going to be a yes every time. That’s for everybody, right? I know that because I’ve been rejected hundreds of times. And yet it didn’t stop me from continuing to pursue the goal. And then you eventually start getting yeses. You will eventually learn how to get yeses. You eventually build your capacity to become the person that gets yeses no matter how many times it takes.

And that’s actually the key is that you have to switch your identity to become that person, but also switch your identity to become somebody who is successful. And somebody who is successful is willing to do the things as many times as needed in the energy of already having, of already being, of already accepting that they are that person that has that. They’re willing to do that as many times as they need to until the result comes through, right? I listened to a podcast with one of my mentors recently, and she just got her book on the bestselling authors list. You might have heard of her. Her name is Kara Lowenthal, and her podcast on this was so good. She was talking about how hard it is to get a book on the bestsellers list, especially when you don’t have a huge social media audience.

And she doesn’t have a huge social media audience in comparison to most people who get their books on the New York Times bestseller list. And she was talking about all the actions that she took, right? And she even said that 90% of those actions did not work, but she was willing to keep going for the 10% that did work. And even though she didn’t meet the milestones that she was told she would need to meet, so she was told she would need to sell a certain amount of books in the first two weeks or in the presale, and she didn’t hit that number, but she kept going and she just did everything in her power, everything that she could fathom, conceive to do.

And even though it was against the odds, you would look at her numbers and still think, oh, they’re actually pretty small. Her book got on the bestseller list. And then she was explaining how it’s a hard category to get into because the self-help category is like a category where you are in with cookbooks and people who have huge audiences and stuff like this.

And so it was just such an inspiring story to hear about her with her relatively small audience in comparison to the people she was competing against for a best-selling title in the category, because I think there’s only a certain amount that can get onto the bestseller list every month. And just the fact that she was willing to take that action, and that just shows that it just kind of laid all her actions out on the table and revealed her identity as somebody who hits goals, as somebody who is successful, right? And somebody who isn’t might look at that and just be like, that is an enormous amount of work, right? Like so much. And she had a team to help her and all that, but she was showing up consistently for speaking engagements and podcast interviews, and she was doing a lot of work as well.

But it just kind of shows, this is what is required. We are required to take these actions. And when it seems like a lot to us, it’s because we haven’t built up the capacity, right? So we are missing capacity in somewhere. So we either don’t have the capacity to be seen by that many people, or we don’t have the capacity to interact with as many people as we need to yet, or we don’t have the capacity to believe that all of our actions are going to pay off because we ultimately decide that. My favorite quote is, you don’t fail unless you give up. Like when you give up, that’s when you fail. And so all these things tie back to who you are, your identity. So if you are somebody who is in it until you get it, it takes what it takes. You’re willing to do all the things, and you’re willing to have fun along the way, learn along the way, be calm, be in the belief, be in that expectant, anticipatory energy.

That is what it’s going to take. And most people are just not wired to do that. Like our brains, they go to the negative more often than they go to the positive. We really have to rewire ourselves to go to the positive. And that’s something that I talk about frequently that I did once for 30 days, and it totally changed my life and my business results and everything that was happening in my life because I talk about how I had this mastermind assignment in one of the masterminds that I joined. And it was about you have to list out every morning. You’re not allowed to list out anything that’s not working. You have to list everything that is working, everything that’s going well, everything you feel good about, everything you feel proud about. It had to be different things every single day, and you had to list them out. And that was all you were allowed to do every single morning first thing. And so I did that for 30 whole days, and it really rewired me to now just automatically go there. So now if I have a situation come in that I don’t know how to deal with, immediately I’m in solve mode, solve mode, solve mode.

What is good about this? What is going well about this? And I’m not saying it’s not like toxic positivity. We’re allowed to process our emotions and feel bad about things, but ultimately being in solution mode and seeing what is already working is going to majorly motivate us to create more of what’s already working and build upon what’s already working. And so that kind of wired into my identity. I am somebody who looks at what works first and builds on what works first. And that gives me a huge boost. I already feel like I’m way farther ahead than anybody when solving a problem because I’ve already taken stock of all that stuff. So when we’re taking action from an identity that is somebody who looks at the problems before you look at the solutions, somebody who is struggling, that’s a very common identity that I see. When people join my six-figure curriculum program, oftentimes, and one of my clients commented on this, she’s like, yeah, when somebody joins, you’ll see their shifts, even just on the first few calls, they’ll go from feeling really discouraged, really beaten down, like they don’t have any control over their situation. All of a sudden you start to see them shifting their identity into the powerful creator that they are.

They start to shine a light onto the positives, onto the things that they do have working for them, they do have going for them. Because what happens is if you’re seeing yourself as somebody who is struggling, you will just continue to see the struggles. You won’t see the successes, the breakthroughs, the things that you’re not struggling with.

You won’t see the milestones. It’s difficult to see them. I have a podcast episode called Milestone Results. I use the analogy of you’re playing a video game and you are collecting gold coins as you go. Instead of thinking, yes, you’re falling and maybe you die in the video game, but then you get another life. It’s like, this is how it goes in our life, but we don’t pay attention to the gold coins that we’re collecting. If you had a great conversation with someone, that’s a gold coin that you collected, but you probably think your default is like, oh, well, I didn’t get a job from that. She didn’t refer me. That was pointless. No, that’s a gold coin you collected. Or you got an interview and you didn’t get the job and your brain automatically thinks, oh, another rejection. This is so hard. How am I supposed to deal with this now? I can’t handle another rejection. This was perfect for me. This was awful.

You don’t see the fact that you got the interview in the first place as a gold coin, which many people would be like, oh my God, I would have killed to have that interview, that opportunity, that chance. We just dismiss them so easily. All of these things are shaping us to become the people who have what we want, who know what it takes to get what we want and are willing to do it. We’re building that capacity and becoming that person as we go. If we’re not guided, if we don’t have positive inputs coming in all the time, you’re here listening to my podcast, you value positive inputs, but if you don’t have new positive inputs happening all the time, you’re more likely to get down in the dumps. You’re more likely to go back to that negative way of thinking because that is our brain’s default. It wants to protect us. It wants to tell us there’s something to be scared of and keep us in that fear, worry and doubt and scarcity mode. That’s where most people are.

It’s our job to rewire our brains so that we are not there anymore on default. We can automatically look to the solutions, look to what we do have. This is a big part of rewiring and changing your identity because a lot of these things people don’t know that are blind spots. You wouldn’t know that you’re not collecting your gold coins, reveling in the fact that you’ve got a bag of gold coins. You’re not doing that because you’re like, well, I still don’t have the job yet. I still don’t have the salary yet. It’s all that was a waste of time. None of this is working. It’s like, oh, it’s working. It’s working. It’s working. You need to hold the thought and the belief it’s working. It’s working. It’s working because otherwise you’re never going to want to keep going. It’s going to suck. The journey is going to suck. If the journey sucks, you’re not going to want to keep going and you’re not going to do what it takes. Why we do this is because I mentioned that we just have this negative bias. The brain has this negative bias. I believe from what I have studied, it goes back to the days of when we were literally in survival mode a lot of the time. We had to make sure that we were protecting ourselves, that we were getting food, that our brains are wired for avoid pain, go towards pleasure at all costs.

Nowadays, we are not in physical harm if we don’t have a job. Most of my clients are like, well, I’m not going to end up on the street if I don’t get a job. That’s where your brain goes. Even the people who are saying I’m homeless, blah, blah, blah, they also have the power. They have the power in them. They have a functional brain to create. They just haven’t had the inputs, the resourcefulness, the teachings, the tools that they need to be able to do that, but they can fully do that as well. Nobody is actually helpless and incapable unless you have… I don’t know. There’s always exceptions and stuff, but I always say if you have a functional human brain where you can think thoughts and you can choose thoughts, you can make decisions, you always have power at any time.

It’s about how you use that, about how you invest your thinking moment to moment instead of spending it on garbage thoughts that make you feel like crap and don’t get you anywhere. You can either invest thinking into things that are going to get you there, or you can spend thinking on things that just make you feel bad. I just came up with that way of thinking of it.

It’s like, if we invest in, say a coaching session, you get filled up with all these really great thoughts and beliefs about yourself that you can get on board with, and you’re starting to feel empowered and okay, I can go take action now, and I can do this, and I can do this. You start to do that. You have now given yourself the opportunity to reap the rewards of this investment, and not just necessarily of money, but of time that you put in getting these new thoughts and beliefs and ideas.

You can do this on your own as well, where you decide you’re going to think a thought that really helps you feel calm and grounded. One of my clients said the other day, she’s like, one of the thoughts that I was thinking, because she was laid off and she’d been in the same job for 31 years or something, and she’s like, I was laid off, and she was in that panic mode of like, oh my God, even though technically she doesn’t have really anything to worry about because she’s been financially responsible. She has options and stuff, but her brain is still like, oh my God, what’s going to happen? One thought that just helped her in that moment was, I’m okay now.

I am safe now. You can have a bridge thought that just helps you get through the moment, but more importantly and deeper is becoming the person who actually knows you can create whatever you need, who knows you can figure out whatever situation you end up in, who knows you have power to choose, power to control, and largely you have power over your life and most people are not using it to their full ability. So how we normally try to cope is we don’t know, we’re not aware of the power that we have.

We’re not aware of the things we could be thinking, feeling and rewiring into our identity and practicing. We’re not aware of these things. So we end up just repeating the same thoughts and feelings day to day and those compound like interest and they either compound negatively or they compound, I don’t necessarily like to say positive because it’s something positive to somebody might be different to someone else, but I like say effectively, right? Effectively towards where you’re going, right? So if you’re worrying, if you’re fearing, if you’re stressing, if you’re panicking, if you’re experiencing those kinds of emotions on a daily basis, you’re spending time like it’s, you’re never going to get that time back.

You’re spending time creating stuff you don’t want or making it more likely that you’re creating stuff you don’t want, right? So instead you can invest time and it takes training of the mind. It’s like a muscle. You got to practice the things you want to believe.

You’ve got to tell your brain what you want to think and you can strengthen that muscle to then have that be muscle memory and like brain muscle memory. And you wake up in the morning and you are becoming that person who feels empowered, like the creator, like the person who’s moving ahead, like the person who’s getting those ideas, those genius, brilliant ideas on a daily basis, right? Like you are expecting those ideas to come through. You’re expecting guidance to come through.

You’re expecting the next step to be easy and obvious. And you are creating for yourself. You get to become that person, right? And that is what I really want to help you do because that’s what’s going to get you the success you want in your job and your career, in your income and everything that you want to do.

You will need to train your brain to have that muscle memory so that it gets up automatically. And that’s what it thinks, right? So many of us, maybe you listening, depending on how you’re feeling today, people, most people are just in that negative default way of thinking, worrying and stressing and panicking and thinking about the, what if, what if I don’t get this? What if this doesn’t happen? What if this blah, blah, blah. And I can honestly tell you that I don’t give attention to that anymore.

And if I do, if I do get a thought like that, it’s the same as me thinking, well, I could walk out the door and get hit by a bus. If I thought that I’d be like, maybe, but like, I’m not going to give attention to that. And I’m not going to be worrying about that all day. Right. I’m not going to be thinking, oh my God, I can’t go outside because I might get hit by a bus. Right. I’m not thinking that I’m like, if I do think that I’ll be like, haha, that’s funny. Brain, like very funny, whatever. Like, it’s just not a big deal. Right. But people put, give too much attention. One of my mentors said, she’s like, people make out with their negative thoughts, basically.

Like you sit there and you like want to talk about them and want to rehash them. It’s like, well, what if this happens? What if this happens? You keep playing like the worst case scenarios in your mind over and over. And that isn’t going to drive you forward to create the scenarios that are best case for you.v Right. It’s not going to create that for you. It’s more likely to create that worst case scenario because that’s what you keep thinking about. That’s what you keep giving attention to. Right. And so I want you to think of something like totally ridiculous that you wouldn’t believe is going to happen. Right. So say, I don’t know, like I live in Victoria, BC. We do not have polar bears here. But if I were to say, if I were to think, oh my God, a polar bear could jump through my window and attack me. And I’m like on the second level of my house. Right.

And I’m thinking, oh my God, what if a polar bear comes in here and attacks me? Like that’s a ridiculous thought. Right. It’s like that’s scientifically not possible. The polar bear couldn’t jump. There’s nothing for it to climb on. We don’t have polar bears here. It’s just not a realistic thing for me to be worried about. Right. And then I want you to think that that is the same as you worrying about not having money, for example. Okay. Just bear with me here as a sonic thought experiment, because I know you’re probably thinking, oh, but not having money is way more likely. My bank is already going down. Blah, blah, blah. You could think that. However, if you look back at your life and you think about all the times when you had to get money or you had to get a new job, or you had to figure out something financially and all the times that you did that, maybe you sold something.

Maybe you went back to your old job. Maybe you borrowed money from your parents or your friends, or maybe like all these things that I’m sure you’ve had the situation have, right? Like maybe when you’re a teenager and you didn’t have gas money, and like you went and did an odd job for your neighbor and you got some money, like all the, every little time you have gotten yourself out of a financial situation, right? That you couldn’t, that you thought you didn’t know how it was going to happen or how you were going to do it. Right.

You have the evidence of your whole entire life of you actually figuring it out. Right. So it’s like, it’s not really a worry. It’s like a fake fear because it’s never happened before. Maybe you’ve had some close calls before, but like, maybe you’ve like most of my clients have never been homeless before. I’ve never had, I’ve never worked with someone who’s been homeless before, but you have always figured it out. Okay. And so that’s the thought that if you look back on, you can see it’s actually more true than the fear you’re holding of what if I run out? What if there’s never enough? What if I can’t figure it out? It’s like, that’s actually much more unrealistic and you are giving it probably way too much weight. Okay.

Way too much attention, way too much feeling and emotion behind this fear that is probably not even real because if you look at your past that hasn’t happened, right? Like you’ve always figured it out. Right. And if you’re here and you have a device that you’re using to listen to this on or to watch me on, we know that’s true. Right. You’ve figured it out. You’ve been resourceful enough to go find somewhere where there’s a computer with internet, right? Like you have so much more than I don’t, the majority of people in the world, right? Like you are richer than the majority of people in the world just because you’re here and you’re listening to this.

So false fears, that’s a big part of like rewiring your identity so that you are somebody who can identify those you identify. Okay. That’s like the equivalent of a polar bear coming up here. It’s not something I have to worry about. And like, I’ve been in those situations too. So I feel for people who are struggling financially because I’ve been there, but I also don’t feel sorry for you. And I don’t believe that you can’t get out of it. Like, I know you can figure it out. I know you can, right? Like I had, like, I’ve been in a situation where I’ve had absolutely nothing. I have no idea how I’m going to pay my rent. I had no idea how, like, how I’m going to make things work. I did not come from a rich family and I figured it out every time. And every time I figured it out, it strengthened my ability to believe I will always figure it out. So the identity there is you, you want to be able to take on the identity of somebody who always figures it out. Right. And so there’s all these little identity shifts that either we’re perceiving our identity wrong. A lot of the times we’re not telling ourselves the truth about like how we see ourselves. And I mean that in like a way you’re not telling yourself the truth about how you see yourself and it’s negatively impacting you.

Like, for example, I had a client this morning and he was telling me the way that he would describe seeing himself was that he is somebody who just kind of fell into whatever job was available. He took it and then he made it work. Right. And if you hear that story, you think, okay, you make some, make some assumptions about what he did and how he acted in the jobs he had. However, when we went a little bit deeper, we realized that wasn’t true. Definitely not a hundred percent of the time was that true. Right. So there was one job that he took that he gave it a try and he actually realized that the job he was hired for wasn’t aligned with his zone of genius so much. And he was noticing other issues that the business was having and other problems that he really enjoyed solving. So somebody who just fell into the job would have just continued to do as he was told. However, he couldn’t help, but focus on these other issues because that’s what he felt really passionate about solving. And he discovered a lot about himself through that experience. So the story of, I just fall into something and I just do it and I make it work. It wasn’t true. Right.

It wasn’t true a hundred percent of the time. It was actually another story that was equally true was I get a job and then I discover where my strengths are. And I quickly start working on the problems that really compel me. And I actually made a pitch to, you know, work more on that later down the road. And like, so it was actually not true. So that’s what I mean by, we can mistaken our identities, right? So that’s why it’s really important and really helpful.

It has been for me to have an outside set of eyes, to look at what you’re telling yourself, look at how you’re, how you’re thinking and feeling about your current situation, about your past situation that will then be able to shape your future situation into what you want it to be. Okay. So that’s what I’m doing in this upcoming two week challenge is called the identity challenge, where we’re going to shift your belief from struggling to an in demand candidate.

And that’s where I’m going to teach you everything I know about how to shift your personal identity. And however you are seeing yourself right now, it’s probably not getting you the results that you want to be getting. And we’ll be able to tell this by how you’re feeling on a day to day basis and what your results have been and what they have been for the last three months. Right. So, cause identity doesn’t take too long to change. It takes repetitions.

So once you can see it clearly, and then you can do some repetitions, then you will start to see different results showing up. So in the identity challenge, what it is, it’s, it’s a two week container of unwavering support. So I’m going to be in that. It’s going to be in a Facebook group. We’re going to have Facebook lives. There is a huge playbook to go along with this. That’s going to teach you exactly how to change your shape, your own identity. And to be clear, I’m not saying you need to change everything about who you are. It’s more like you become more of who you want to be of who you’re meant to be.

So, I mean, if you’re introverted and you’re, you identify as somebody who’s quiet and thoughtful, I’m not saying we’re going to change that about you. I’m saying we’re going to play to those strengths and you’re going to become the most powerful version of who you are within your quiet thoughtfulness. Right. So I’m not a proponent of trying to make you something else that you’re not. It’s more about getting deeper into who you are and who you want to be and who you want to identify with as your highest version of yourself. Okay.

And so that’s really exciting for me because you don’t see that yet, right? You don’t see necessarily who that highest version is. You might have an idea of it and you might have the inkling of that’s where you’re headed, but the more specific we can get, the better we can help you to make those connections and rewire yourself into that new identity. So it’s a two-week support container to where I’m going to teach you everything I know about how to shift your identity so that you can become somebody who is successful in your career.

So you no longer have to identify as somebody who’s struggling. So you no longer have to identify with somebody who is blaming the market or external circumstances for your lack of results. Like you become somebody who takes full responsibility for those results and you know exactly how to do that and exactly how to think and how to feel to do that. Okay. I’m going to be in there answering every single question that anybody has. I’ll be doing a live.

You’ll get access to a beautiful playbook that will explain step-by-step how to do it with some really cool tricks and some really cool, fun exercises on how to do it. And you’re going to get all the videos will be uploaded to the Facebook group as we do them. So, or not to the Facebook group rather, but to the portal. So if you don’t have Facebook, it’s totally fine. You can just watch the videos in the portal. Some people are not Facebook people. That’s okay. You’re not going to miss anything. It’s just kind of a pop-up group for the two weeks where we’re going to have some really intense, vigorous support.

And it’s a really nice community experience. So if you like to interact with others who are on the same path as you, it’s a great place to be, but you don’t have to, you don’t have to use Facebook in order to participate and get everything you need. So there’s no live calls on this challenge. It’s just going to be Facebook lives. Whenever I’m inspired to come on and answer a question or share something that’s going to help somebody in the challenge, and then it’ll help everybody collectively. The last time I did this, we had some incredible results from the challenge.

We had people saying it was worth way more than the a hundred dollars that I charged for it. So it’s a very low cost investment for a really big ROI return because I really wanted to make this work available for more people. And it was such success and so much fun last time that I thought it’s a perfect time to do it again.

So this is going to be happening from November the 18th to November the 28th. And we’re going to have the group open until then, and then we will close it and you’ll have access to the materials for life. So if you sign up, it’s a one-time payment of $100 and you’re going to get all that I just mentioned, plus a few other bonuses. So you’ll want to check out the page for that and you can sign up and then you’ll get the details as we go. So I hope to see you in there. For those of you who are already signed up, you’re in for a treat and can’t wait to bust through some beliefs and get you some offers. And if you’re thinking like, I just want to slow down for the rest of the year, put my feet up and not have to worry about anything. Like this is probably not for you. This is for somebody who wants to really kick it into high gear for the last couple of weeks where people are going to actually be working, hiring.

Because when we get into December, it does slow down a little bit. So if you want to get in some really quality action before then and increase your chances of getting the job this year, we had some people land their job offers in December and call them their Christmas gifts last time I did this. So you’re going to want to start the challenge. If you’re like, no, I just want to relax and I just want to put my feet up for the rest of the year, then probably not the best time for you to join this or the thing for you. That’s all I have to say about it for now. Thank you for watching.

Thank you for listening. The link will be below for you to join. It’ll be in the show notes and on YouTube, it’ll be in the video notes and I will see you then.

Have a great week and I’ll see you in the challenge in the next week’s podcast. Thanks. Bye-bye.