I’m speaking to more and more people lately who tell me some version of the same thing, “I am probably lacking confidence…” This is a particularly common problem and, to be honest, it’s a bigger deal than you might currently believe. So, if this sounds like a familiar story in your life, this episode is for you.
Say you’re interviewing and you go in there knowing you’re lacking confidence, how do you think that’s going to go? When we’re having difficulty feeling confident, most people tend to ignore it, just continue to show up, and when the inevitable rejection comes, their already waning confidence takes a huge hit. But I have the solution for you this week in the form of the Intentional Self-Confidence Challenge.
Tune in this week to start developing real self-confidence, without changing what you have to offer. I’m sharing how to see the thoughts that currently have you lacking confidence in interview situations, and how to work on your thoughts so you can go into conversations knowing that you are useful, unique, and have a ton of value and assets to bring to the table.
Are you tired of going from job interview to job interview and not getting an offer? I’ve put together a free download that breaks down the reasons this might be happening. It’s called The 8 Reasons You’re Not Getting Hired and I will help you figure it out. Click here to get it!
What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
- How we tend to perform and the energy we give off when we are lacking self-confidence.
- Why it’s so difficult to promote and sell yourself when you don’t have confidence in yourself.
- How to see the thoughts that are contributing to your current lack of self-confidence.
- Why no one else will trust you if you can’t trust yourself.
- Where the brain perpetuates a belief that you just have to go harder after rejection, when you really need to work on your self-confidence.
- How to grow your self-confidence, so you can position yourself as the best person for the role you’re interviewing for.
Listen to the Full Episode:
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- Tony Robbins
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Welcome back to the Get a 6-Figure Job You Love podcast. This is episode 103, the Intentional Self-Confidence Challenge. Hey there. Welcome to the Get a 6-Figure Job You Love podcast. I’m your host, Natalie Fisher.
I’m a Certified Career Mindset Coach who also happens to want to skip all the BS and get to what it really takes to create real results for you and your career. On this podcast, you will create real mindset shifts that will lead to big results and big changes in your career and your income. No fluff here. If you want to get a six-figure job you love and create real, concrete results in your industry and make a real impact, you’re in the right place. Are you ready? Let’s go.
Hey, hey. So I’ve been having a lot of conversations and I’ve noticed that a lot of you are saying, “I am lacking confidence.” You’re very aware of this, which is a good thing. First of all, if you’re one of those people who thinks, “Yeah, I resonate with that. I am lacking some confidence,” or, “I am probably lacking some confidence,” this episode is for you, and if you feel really, really confident, if you’re in my program already and you have embraced the tools or you’re just not someone who feels like you’re not confident, then please pass it along to someone who you feel could use it, because the statement, “I’m probably lacking confidence” is a bigger deal than you think, right? It’s a bigger deal, and we’re going to dive into that today in today’s topic.
When we lack confidence, the problem with this, especially if you’re, say you’re interviewing and you know you’re lacking confidence, you don’t want to keep interviewing from this place of lacking confidence. You want to do something about it, and most people don’t know what to do about it, so they don’t do anything, and then they end up continuing to just interview while lacking confidence, and then when rejection hits, they will feel worse, and their already waning confidence will be depleted, and their brain will be like, “Yep. See, I told you.” I’m going to start with an analogy, and I want you to imagine that you were given a blender and you had to sell it, and you were told you need to sell 1,000 of these blenders, and you were given one to take home and use it, and you didn’t love it. It wasn’t that great, so imagine it’s kind of, sometimes you turn it on and sometimes it turns on, and sometimes it doesn’t, or sometimes it blends and sometimes it doesn’t.
It’s like not reliable and you can’t really rely on this blender to perform, right? You don’t think it’s the best thing ever, but then, they’re like, “No, no, no. You got to go sell it. That’s what it is. That’s the product. You got to go sell it,” so it would be very difficult for you to really go out there and promote this blender when you deep down know that it sucks or think that it sucks, right?
Unless you are someone who’s sleazy, unethical, and really good at scamming people, because I’ve seen movies like that, we know that there’s people who are good at that, which I am not, could never sell something I’d not believe in, and I believe most people are like that, it’s going to be very, very difficult or impossible for you to be like, “Oh, yeah. I’m going to sell 1,000 of these blenders.” You would feel yucky every time you sold one to someone, thinking, “Oh, I just screwed them over. I just ripped them off.” Right?
It would suck, so this is kind of what it’s like when you are lacking confidence in yourself, in your ability, and you are going for interviews over and over. When you have thoughts about yourself that include things like, “I’m not sure I can actually measure up,” “I have imposter syndrome,” “I’m not sure I can really do it anyway,” “What if I fail in the role?,” “What if they give me the role and I fail?,” that’s a big one, right? That’s going to stop a lot of people from getting roles because secretly, they’re saying energetically, they’re saying, “Yeah, I wouldn’t hire me either. There’s probably someone better.” Right?
Like if you’re trying to sell this blender and you’re pushed to go sell it and someone really wants it, like let’s say someone really needs a blender, and they’re like, “Sell it to me. Please sell it to me. I want to buy it,” you’d be like, “Well, okay, but honestly, I don’t really think it’s the best one. I don’t actually
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believe in it that much and I don’t really think you should get it. There’s probably a better one out there, but don’t tell anyone I said that.” Right?
This is essentially what you’re doing in interviews when you’re thinking things like, “I don’t really know if I can do this. What if they give me something and I can’t figure it out? What if I don’t have enough education? What if I’m too new and I really don’t know it? What if I need more information?”
“What if I need to work in other companies first? I don’t have that much experience. I don’t have that degree. What if I messed it up? What if I can’t deliver?”
Essentially, if you have any of those thoughts or anything like that, you’re basically saying, “Don’t buy the blender. It’s not going to be in your best interest. You might regret it.” Right? That’s what it would be like to try and sell anything that you don’t fully, wholeheartedly believe in, that you’re not like ready to go run up to the top of the roof and be like, “This is the most amazing thing ever.”
Right? When you’re trying to sell something you don’t believe in, and even if you try 100 times, this is where it doesn’t matter, you could knock on 100 doors and try to sell the blender to 100 people, but if the blender hasn’t changed and it’s still unreliable and it still kind of sucks, you’re going to strike out more than you’re going to succeed, right? This is where people get the rejection confused. I’ll see posts on LinkedIn where people are like, “Rejected, rejected, rejected, rejected like 100 times,” and then all of a sudden, they’re like, “And I finally broke through,” but if you’re interviewing 100 times with no belief in you, or like you’re literally going to offer a faulty blender to the people in the houses if you’re door-to-door selling and you go and offer something that you don’t believe in, you’re going to get rejected a lot more than if you are showing up differently, which I’m going to get into, what the solution is to this, but yeah. When you interview without examining these doubts, you’re telling the hiring committee through your energy that you are the faulty blender and that they should probably steer clear of you, but you don’t want anyone to know that that’s what you’re really saying.
It’s like imagine you’ve got someone in front of you, they want to buy the blender. They’re like, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sell it to me,” and you’re like, “I know I’m supposed to be enthusiastic about this. I know I’m supposed to be all cheerleadery and say, ‘Buy it,'” but your internal moral compass is saying, “But I don’t think you should really buy it,” and so, of course, the person doesn’t buy it because they feel that, and energy’s a real thing. People can really feel it, whether it’s on Zoom or whether it’s in person.
You can feel my energy when I record these podcasts even, then they’re going to feel that and they’re going to be like, “Actually yeah, no. I’m going wait for later. Maybe I’ll buy it later. I don’t have the money. I actually don’t have the time.”
“Never mind. I actually don’t want it. Actually, I’m not really sure what I want. Maybe I should evaluate my options. I’m going to check into some other blenders first,” or, “I’m going to ask my husband.”
“Maybe he will agree to it, but I have to get his buy-in first because I don’t really want to make the decision,” or any number of things they’re going to say, because they’re not going to want to say, “No. I actually think your blender sucks and I don’t want it.” People are not going to say that. They’re going to make up 1,000 excuses to be nice because they want to preserve their ego and they don’t want to make you feel bad, so that’s what they’re going to say. In an interview situation, they’re going to say things like, “Yeah, you were great.”
“We loved you, but you just weren’t quite the right fit. We went with someone who’s going to fit in better,” or they’ll say, “You just lacked this little, tiny piece of experience here. You are the second choice.” Sometimes it’s true, you were the second choice, and I’ve had clients come back and say that they got hired from that, so that was probably a different situation, but they’re going to make up a lot of things that are not going to make you feel terrible, but they’re not actually going to say, “Hey, we sensed
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that you didn’t really believe in yourself. We didn’t really get the vibe from you that you were confident and that you could do this.”
“We didn’t really trust you to help us, so we’re not going to go with you.” They’re never going to say that to you, but instead, it’s going to come out like, “You were great. You were just missing this little piece of experience here,” or, “You don’t have enough of this experience,” or, “Yeah, you were just not the right fit,” or, “We’ve actually just changed around what we’re doing right now, or, “Actually, we went with an internal candidate.” They’re just going to say different things, and really, what they’re trying to say is, “We could see right through you. We don’t trust you because you don’t trust yourself.”
Then, you are proven right, and you’re like, “Yeah. See, I knew I wouldn’t be able to do it. I knew it wasn’t going to work. I knew they were going to pick someone else who was better,” and your brain lives to be right, so then, you will perpetuate that cycle. This is an issue that many, many people have without knowing they have it, and when this is a problem is when you keep getting rejected so many times and you just keep thinking you have to go harder and do more interviews, without stopping to see, “Okay, well, I don’t actually really believe in my product, so that’s why I’m not able to sell it.”
Then, you deplete your confidence and you end up becoming less and less motivated to keep going. If you don’t have any confidence or if you have low confidence, you’re going to have less motivation, less drive, you’re not going to be able to sell yourself, you’re not going to be advancing. You’re going to be depleting, right? You’re going to be moving backwards. What needs to happen instead is, the faults of the blender need to be looked at and they need to be remedied.
Following along with this blender example, what would it take for you to be really proud and happy to go sell this blender to people who really need it and want it, and are like, “Yes. Please sell me it,” like, “Tell me why I want this because I do want it,” “I just need you to tell me and confirm the reasons why it’s a yes”? What you need to do is you need to be like, “Okay. Well, what would it take for me to really believe that this blender is amazing and I want to sell it to other people, and I want to use it myself?” Right?
You would need to probably say, “This is what I would do.” I’d be like, “Okay. Let’s look at the pieces that are not working reliably. That needs to be fixed. We need to make sure that all the blenders are manufactured with a new piece, that whenever you turn it on, it turns on, and it needs to have no issues with that. ”
“First of all, it needs to be reliable, so let’s get that fixed. Then, let’s look at the other things. Let’s talk to the manufacturer, make some improvements, make some tweaks, maybe make it look a bit nicer. Let’s see what other features then we could add to it to make it easier to use for the customer. Who is our customer, and what do they need, and how could we kind of position this blender to be the best in its category for this group of people? Maybe it’s a built-in cup that screws on the top.”
“Maybe it’s an easy-to-wash feature. Maybe it’s a blade that’s not too sharp.” The Blendtec doesn’t have a sharp blade at all. Maybe it’s like a Magic Bullet combined with a Blendtec because, I don’t know if you know blenders, but we want to go for easy to use and easy to clean, reliable, maybe has a bunch of different settings on it, so then you’re like, “Okay, cool. We can start getting excited about this blender now. I can actually see how I would want to use it and how it would improve someone else’s life if they were to buy it.”
Right? Then, so let’s assume you went to the manufacturer, you had these conversations, you made some decisions about what you want to do, and you have a new product now, okay? You have a new blender and it’s way better, and you’re using it at home every day and you’re loving it, and you are making smoothies for your family with it, and you just love it, right? Now, how easy is that going to be to sell it? You probably will sell it without even knowing it, like if you have friends over for dinner and
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you’re whipping up some sauce or something in it, you might be like, “Oh, yeah. This is my blender, and it’s so cool.”
“This is what it does, and it’s so easy to use, and it’s so easy to clean.” Right? You would not even think about it because you would be living it yourself, right? If you apply that to yourself, I’m not talking about it in the sense of like, “We’re going to change you, or fix you, or make you go get more certifications, or change what you’ve done. We’re going to change your thoughts about yourself and your ability to deliver results, and knowing that you are useful and unique and have ideas that will benefit whoever’s going to hire you,” because if we apply the logic to the blender and the logic to you, in your own confidence, you wouldn’t have an issue selling this blender, right?
Let’s say your goal is to sell blenders to new moms who need to prepare quick smoothies and they have other kids, right? Let’s say that’s your target audience. Now, you have this great blender, it’s reliable, has a bunch of different settings, it’s easy to clean, has built-in cap, and you can now go take that to her and be like, “This is going to change your life. It’s going to save you four hours a day, you can make the baby food in it, you can do this, you can make sauces, you can make smoothies for your own snacks and for your other kids.” You’re going to be so enthused to go and show her all the things she can do with this and how cool it is, and how it’s worth more than a run-of-the-mill blender that doesn’t have these options or features, right?
You wouldn’t have any qualms offering it to her at a higher price because you know that it’s good for her. It’s going to benefit her. She wants it and she won’t regret buying it, right? You can confidently say, “You won’t regret buying this product. I’ve tested it myself.”
“I use it myself. I stand behind it. You won’t regret it.” Right? Now, look at your beliefs about yourself. Do you believe in your ability to deliver results in the role?
Do you believe that the organization would benefit from having hired you? Can you confidently say, “You won’t have regrets if you hire me?” Do you believe you can figure things out you haven’t done before? Do you believe that you will get up to speed and deliver the results that they are looking for based on the job description, even if you don’t know everything yet, that you’ll figure it out? If you have doubts, and even if you know intellectually that you can, but you don’t feel it in your body, this is the equivalent of like, “Yeah, I know the blender works, but I haven’t really used it.”
“I don’t really feel it, but I know it works. I mean, I’ve heard it does,” that’s the difference, then it’s going to stop you. You need to feel it in your body. You won’t be able to bring the kind of opportunity into your life that you want unless you feel it in your body, unless you know and feel, and think, and fully stand behind yourself to be able to deliver the results they want, believe in the fact that hiring you would be the best thing for them and that they won’t regret it, and that you will be able to figure things out. You won’t be able to bring in the opportunities unless you have those beliefs locked down because you haven’t become the person yet who believes it, so then you won’t be able to get it, because no one else is going to believe it either. So the challenge.
We are wired to go to the things that don’t work, go to the things we haven’t done, and we’ve been wired this way for years, for years and years and years, most of us, and so we need to rewire ourselves as it’s kind of like going in there and moving some wires around in your brain and being like, “Okay, the manufacturer got this part wrong. We’re going to move these wires over to this side so that our brain’s going to function better and move us in a different direction.” Here’s where I’m going to talk about the challenge. I had to do this challenge in one of my masterminds, and it changed my results. It changed my life, it changed my business, it changed everything for me, and it changes everything for my clients when they come into the program when they do this. The challenge is essentially to every single day for 30 days, list out the things that are working for you, that you do well, that you are capable of and you know
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you are capable of, like the things you can get behind that are true about you, that are assets that are positive assets, right?
If it’s something you did that you accomplished, like if it’s figuring something out, you’d never figured out, if it’s just your ability to interact with people in a way where they listen to you and they like you, maybe you’re able to get favors from people. I have one client and he says, “Oh, everybody always comes to me to say, ‘Can you talk to so and so in this department because he doesn’t like me, but I know he likes you, and if you ask him, he’ll do it.'” Right? Any little thing about you, things that people have told you that maybe you kind of disregard, like maybe people say, “Oh, you’re so thorough. I wouldn’t have thought of that,” like, “You’re so thorough in how you organize that,” or maybe you have an ability to take information and organize it really quickly, or maybe you have a really good way of emailing in a succinct manner, or maybe you’re really good with numbers, or spreadsheets, or what is it …
Like anything. You just want to make an effort to bring those wires from the negative part to the part of your brain that shows you what you do have what is working and what is already successful about you, and there are lots and lots of things. The things that are positive, the things that you can get on board with and you have to fully believe them, so if you’re not at the point where you’re thinking, “I’m super valuable” yet, you can say, “I’m competent, I’m capable. This is why. These are the things I’ve done. This is the evidence of that.”
Basically, we’re taking our brain and purposely rewiring it for success, instead of more of what’s not working, because when we focus on what’s working, we get more of what’s not working. “Where focus goes, energy flows,” and that’s a Tony Robbins quote. That means that if you’re focusing on things that aren’t going well, if you’re focusing on, “I should have, I should have, I should have,” or, “I’m behind,” “I should be better,” “I did this wrong,” if you’re focusing on any of that, you have any underlying feelings of like anxiety for not feeling good enough or not feeling like you’ve done enough, you need to rewire yourself, and that takes time. I’m going to give you the challenge, and we do this inside my program, and I give you a ton more questions. It’s part of the workbook, and after this challenge is completed, you feel like a brand new blender.
You’re like, “Yes, let’s go out there. Let’s do it,” and the results are explosive. They’re completely different because you think of yourself completely differently, so you want to rewire yourself every morning to do that. For details on the challenge, for the workbook that comes with it, along with the other challenges along the way inside the program, the challenges are very measurable, so everything that you get is a way for you to see your own progress and measure it along the way. We’re essentially reinventing what is “Right” so that you can progress faster.
It’s beautiful. It’s like everyone always says, “Well, how do I know if this is good enough?,” or, “How do I know if I’m doing it right?,” and in the challenges, I’ve broken it down so that it is so clear that you have no excuses, no reasons not to succeed. For you, you’re just listening to the podcast, your challenge is just to bring attention to things that are working for you every single day. If you catch your brain going back and being like, “Oh, well, I should have done this better,” or, “Oh, I sucked that up,” “I messed that up,” or, “Ugh, I’m behind again,” “I told myself I wouldn’t do that, and I’m doing it again,” any of that, you want to catch yourself and move yourself to, “How am I succeeding? How is this working?”
“How am I doing something that’s really good today for myself?” Like, “What did I do …” Like even if it’s just getting out of bed, right? Sometimes we’re depending on where we’re at, we have to start where we’re at, so when you’re looking at your positives, any little positives you can find, and if it’s hard for you to find them, that’s a sign. It’s a sign that this rewiring needs to happen, right?
On one of my coaching calls, inside the curriculum, I asked one of my clients, who came on for coaching and I asked her, “Okay, so what are the things that you do believe about yourself that inspire confidence?,” and she couldn’t answer. She was like, “Mm, I don’t know,” but I’m like, “I bet you if I
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asked you, ‘What are some of the things about yourself that you don’t like or that you don’t think are working well enough?,’ you’d have a long, long list,” and she’s like, “Oh, yeah,” so you want to watch, right? This is the whole point, we want to rewire ourselves to the place where we are forming a new habit of becoming that person who is intentionally self-confident. We have to be intentionally self-confident because if we’re not, we just get our confidence withering away every day, so we need to build it on purpose, and that is what we do. Inside the Six-Figure Curriculum, this is the first part we look at, we fix the blender, we fix the faults, we add the features, and we make it amazing.
In your case, we look for the hidden limitations, we frame them into tools and strategies, any obstacles, we are going to turn those into strategies, bring attention to the value that you didn’t know was there. This always happens. People are like, “Oh, yeah, I did do that. Oh, yeah, that was worth more than I thought,” and we package it into a beautiful package, and told one of my clients, “It’s like you’re walking around with this big bag of golden coins to offer to people, and you don’t even know it.” Right? We’re going to bring that to your awareness.
The package is totally uniquely you, and you’re so proud, you’re going to be so proud to go out and share it with people who need it, want it, and are more than willing and happy to pay top dollar for it. If you’re ready to do this, ready to take care of this once and for all, join us, and the lifetime access is no joke. You get to stay in the community forever even after you’ve landed your premium offer, and you get to benefit from the tools to get promoted and get raise after raise, talk about a deal that’s impeccable and foolproof. You pay 2K for the program, and it literally pays you back for a lifetime, starting with your first premium offer. You won’t get this type of support or quality of support or value anywhere else in the career coaching industry for any career advancement program.
If you’re looking for support, if you’re looking to normalize success for yourself and be surrounded by a group of people who are normalizing success, this is the place to be. All right, that’s the podcast for this week. That’s the challenge. I will talk to you next week on the podcast, and I will see you inside the Six-Figure Curriculum. Join us now.
See you in there. Bye. If I were to sum it up, I would say the most common thing people come to me with is, “I’m going on interview after interview after interview, and I’m not getting the offer. What am I doing wrong?,” so I’ve put together a freebie, where you can get this download completely free. It has the eight reasons that this is happening, and I break down each reason very specifically and how to fix it. To grab that download, the link is in the show notes.
You can click on that link. You just have to enter your information. It’s called the 8 Reasons You’re Not Getting Hired, and I will help you figure that out. I will see you in the freebie. Okay. Talk to you soon.
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