Welcome to the Get a Six Figure Job You Love podcast.  This is Natalie  and this episode is called Thoughts  Create Results.   And maybe why you’re not getting the results you want.  Why you’re not getting the results you want.  Let’s dive in. All right.  So I don’t know if you’ve been listening for a long time or if you’re new. So I wanted to do a back to the basics  kind of episode. The thing that started this whole thing for me in 2018 when I discovered it  and it’s called the thought model  and I’ve used it every single day since I discovered it and I got certified in it.  And it’s basically was a way to explain how life worked  in a way that I understood and that I could  gain the control that I needed to always feel like I had the power to make progress.  And when I say always, that might be an exaggeration because of course I’m human and I slip into. slip into victim mentality sometimes where I feel like, oh, this is out of my control.  But for the most part, I’m able to bring myself back to feeling empowered  and taking the actions I need to get where I need to go  and enjoy the journey.  And so today I wanted to go into just a basic episode of what that looks like for me and how you can apply it to you.  And it basically is five categories. The model is five categories. And every single problem that you have in your life fits into one of these five categories. And there is no exception. So what are the five categories? The first one is the circumstance. The circumstance is something that cannot be changed, at least not immediately. It is  what it is.  It is something that everybody in the world has to agree on. So, for example, it’s like a contract or something written the past, can’t  like the past is already done. We can’t control the past. That would be a circumstance. It’s already happened. um Other people,  what other people do or think or say, um that’s a circumstance. We can’t control that. um Things that we all know exist in the world as  how they are, like to say the president of the United States is who he is. That is a fact.  That is a circumstance. We all agree on it. We might not all love it,  but  we agree on it,  right? We agree that that is what is fact.  So that’s the circumstance. That is essentially the basis of the thought model is we have a circumstance, but  the circumstance doesn’t actually become good or bad or anything until we have a thought about it. And a thought  is the sentence in our brain that we assign to the circumstance, or many sentences that we might assign to a circumstance.  So, for example, a thought is  more like an opinion. And the thought is what has all the drama,  all the…  The thoughts are what are  interesting. Like, circumstances are usually very boring. They have… They’re neutral. They have nothing really other than the thoughts and the opinions and the meanings that then we assign to said circumstances.  And then the next category, so first category is circumstance, second category is thoughts,  and then the third category is feelings. And thoughts trigger feelings. Thoughts create feelings.  Now I’ve heard some debate that it’s the other way around, feelings can create thoughts.  They go hand in hand, basically. So you might have the feeling first and then figure out what thought it came from, or you might have the thought first and then figure out what feeling it is creating.  So the thoughts are gonna create the feelings. Let’s just use that as this, for this example.  And then the feelings are what are going to lead you to  doing, which is the next category, which is the action, the behavior, the habit.  So,  oh. Take it from the top. Circumstances,  neutral, boring facts that everyone in the world agrees on. Things like other people, what other people say and do  and  how they act. um Things that are just in the world that we can’t  change immediately ourselves and don’t have full control over changing ourselves.  And  thoughts are our opinions,  the meanings that we have assigned to the circumstances. Thoughts are where all the drama comes in. Thoughts are where the interesting things comes in.  Thoughts are the sentences that we assign to the circumstances.  And then the thoughts create feelings, and those feelings  are what then drive us to do and behave in  the next way that we choose to do and behave.  And then the last category,  category number five, are the results  and our actions create. the results.  But they cascade down from our thought, our feeling, then our action, and then our circumstance. So I was coaching a client this morning and I thought I was explaining this to her brand new and she just had it. She was just, I have this huge aha moment and she’s like, okay, I understand.  And so I thought I’d talk to you a little bit about her coaching and give you the examples that we use with her.  And that would maybe help you understand how you can break this down for yourself.  So here were her thoughts. So I’m not gonna mention her name, but. I’m sure many of you can relate or you’ll be able to relate in some way to what my client was feeling.  So her circumstances  are that  she is in her  40s, she doesn’t have a pension,  she doesn’t have savings, she doesn’t have anything. uh She doesn’t have like the financial stability that she would like to have at this time where she is in life.  Her thoughts about it. So that’s neutral. That’s a  neutral circumstance, right? Like she hasn’t. accumulated a pension, does she she has zero in her savings account, right? So these are circumstances and they are neutral, right?  So it’s hard for us to think sometimes because the thoughts that probably most people want to have are like, oh, you should have something in your savings or you should have a pension or whatever, right?  But they’re not.  It’s just a neutral circumstance. OK, you have zero savings, whatever  thought. These were her thoughts. There’s so many things I wanted to do and I’m not doing them.  Another one of her thoughts was, I feel like I’ve missed out on so many things and I can’t ever catch up. I’m so behind in my life, basically were her thoughts, right?  And so what the thoughts were doing were they were creating a feeling of  sucky. So  her feeling was  sucky.  And there’s no like, a feeling is the  one word that you describe. how your body feels, how you feel when you think these particular thoughts. So for her, it was sucky.  And then I asked her, so what do you do when you feel sucky?  And she basically said she avoided the situation. She didn’t look at her numbers. She wasn’t looking at how much she was actually bringing in, how much she wanted to be bringing in.  She wasn’t looking at  ways to fill that gap or ways to change that. I mean, not actively because she didn’t really have a clear picture of it.  she said she would kind of do the ostrich and put her head in the sand and not pay attention because it felt so sucky, right? So when you’re thinking those things, it feels sucky.  When you’re thinking the things that she was thinking, you feel sucky. And then the action that she was taking was avoiding. So  inaction, right?  And then I pointed out to her that the result she was creating from that  was that she was creating conditions, actions that would actually keep her more behind in her life,  because when you don’t look at your numbers,  when you don’t really know what’s going on, when you are just kind of feeling bad because you’re behind  and you’re not looking at specific ways that you could improve  your situation, right? So  she wasn’t saving any money, even though she could have been saving small amounts every month because she was bringing in money. But to her, it just felt like, you know,  I’m so behind, I should have more by now.  And when that is the thought and you feel sucky about it,  then the actions reflect that.  And the actions in her case were, I avoid, I don’t look at my numbers, I don’t save money, even if it’s a little bit every month, I don’t look at ways that I  increase my income. And if I do look at them, I don’t take action on them,  right? And then the result is she was creating more reasons to be more behind.  And just basically she called it a vicious cycle. Right.  And then what we did was we looked at her. And so I don’t want to just end it there because that’s what’s called an unintentional model.  And I like to call it like a useless model  where  that is actually helping you to create more more of what you do not want.  And notice that it is the thoughts that are creating that for her, because the thought. creates the feeling, which then creates the action for her, which then creates the result of more of the same, and she ends up more behind, right?  So that’s what’s called an unintentional or a useless model.  And from there, the first thing that I would do in a coaching session is I would say, okay,  so why are you choosing to think that? Why are you choosing to think, you know, I’m so behind and I’ve missed out on so much?  And usually, client’s response then, or in this case was, well, I’m not choosing it.  That is just true. I am behind. I have missed out on so much.  And so then that’s when I would point out and say, but that is just something you’ve been thinking up until now.  But you actually don’t have to keep thinking. there are other things you could think, right?  And so then usually people are like, well, I don’t wanna believe like, oh, I’m ahead and I’m doing great because I don’t believe that. That’s like gaslighting myself, right? And I agree, you don’t want to  go from, know, I’m so behind and I’ve missed out on so much to, oh, I’m doing great and I have everything I want because that’s not believable. You won’t believe that and therefore your brain will be like, yeah, right, who are you kidding? And it  won’t have any impact on you. Right? It won’t make you feel good. It’ll just make you roll your eyes. Right.  So instead, we need to go to a neutral place where we can where we can feel even just one to two percent better about where  like better than where we were before. So in this case for her, I said I said to her, where I am is just fine. And she’s like, yeah, I can, you know, I can get on board with that.  And especially considering like everything she’s been through and everything she’s had to overcome and  all the like all the other things. I’m like, where you are is just fine. What if that were true? What if where you are is actually just fine?  And she’s like, yeah, OK.  Yeah, she’s starting to come around a little bit.  And then I was like, OK, what if you decided to believe that it’s true that you are behind some people, but you’re also ahead of some people? Because I asked her, you know, what determines behind? Who are you behind? What are you behind? Like, what does that even mean? And she’s like, I’m behind a lot of people at my age. Right.  And I said, OK,  so what if you’re behind some people at your age? Sure. But what if you’re ahead of a lot of people? Right.  And  like, for example, you know, she doesn’t have a lot of debt and some people at her age have a ton of debt. Right. So it’s like it’s like, OK, you  it could be conceivable that you are actually ahead  of a lot of people as well. Right. So let’s just  give some airtime to the fact that, hey,  Maybe you’re not where you want to be yet, but you’re also not like  this.  The thoughts that you’re assigning to your circumstances are also not.  They don’t have to be the things that are true. Right. Like  one of my like their truths because you think them, not because they’re real, because all thoughts are illusions. Like we make we make up these thoughts. We assign these thoughts. Right. So  the goal of coaching is to assign thoughts.  that you believe to be true as well, but make you feel just a little bit better because when you feel a little bit better, you do a little bit better and you create a little bit better result.  And sometimes we can do that right away and it can be a drastic change and it can happen fast. And sometimes we just walk ourselves to the result depending on how our brain responds to the coaching, right? So  with this particular client, she…  really needs to see the neutrality of the circumstance first, and then  assign a neutral thought.  And once she passes through the neutral thought,  then she’ll be able to start cultivating thoughts that are going to be more helpful and help her build.  neutral thoughts for her  that resonated with her were,  where I am is just fine. I am behind some people,  but I am also ahead of some people. um I am managing things. really well considering everything that I have gone through. And  I have a lot to be proud of.  And there are areas in my life where I am not behind where I am actually where I wanted to be.  And one of those being her relationship. So we did a model on her relationship to show that I can kind of show her  how her thoughts create her results.  Right. So  that’s another concept that I’ll talk about in another podcast.  It’s called model mining where we can take one model that works really well for you in your life in one area  and actually apply it to another area of your life  where  you haven’t been seeing the results that you want. But usually we have an area where we are strong, right?  We’re confident and we know we’re doing a good job in that area. So for some people that’s parenting, for some people that’s their fitness,  for some people that’s their finances, for some people that’s their relationships,  for some people that’s  maybe their… their self care or their hobbies or,  you you’ve got an area of your life where you are,  you know, you can look at that area and you can be like, yeah, I’m doing pretty well there. I’m pretty happy with with this,  you know.  And we can take that and we can look at why and then we can apply it to an area where you feel like you’ve been really struggling. Right.  So  taking that  from  what my client experienced today and bringing her into a neutral space.  is gonna be hugely game changing for her because if you imagine that she’s thinking this, like she’s in her  40s, just like me,  and she’s been thinking this for a long time, like I’m so behind,  I wanted to do so many things and I’m not there and I’ve missed out and  I’ll never catch up with another thought she had.  These thoughts are going to create. as we went through the model, the result of more of the same, right? Her thought is gonna end up in her results some way, somehow. It will always find a way to prove that you were correct, right? So she’s always gonna be looking for  ways she’s behind, ways she’s never been able to catch up, ways she’s not where she wanted to be. Her brain will find that stuff, right?  So  if she were to continue to think that for years and years, which she has been thinking that for many years, which is why she hasn’t made the progress  that she wants to make,  If she continued to think that for years and years, she just wouldn’t, she would be making, she wouldn’t be making very much progress at all, if  any.  So by changing her thoughts,  she will be able to make progress a lot faster and a lot easier.  So what most people will do is they will try to change the actions alone in the model.  They will just try to do new actions,  more actions, different actions.  And if you do that, but you don’t change the thought,  then the actions, it’s like fighting against a current. It’s like trying to swim in the ocean against a very, very difficult current. And eventually the undertow will just suck you in and you will have no chance  because your actions are not what create the results. It’s your thoughts.  Now, sometimes people might argue with me and they’ll say, but I can out action my negative thoughts.  And I have seen people do it, but not sustainably. So yes, maybe you could do it for a while, but just imagine. trying to fight that current, like swim through a current that  is very, very strong,  you are human. You will not be able to do that forever, right?  So  maybe you can outact negative thoughts in the short term, but not the long term. I have never seen that.  And  that’s why you see people having success sometimes and not  continuously, right? So thoughts equal results.  Your thoughts, what you think, the sentences in your brain that you choose, even if you don’t know that you’re consciously choosing them, once you become aware of them, which is what coaching does, it helps you to see what’s going on in your brain. It helps you to see what you’re thinking  and how that’s making you feel. And then what you’re doing, how you’re doing it,  how you’re showing up, et cetera. And then what result that’s creating.  Once you see that, then you have a choice. So I understand when I first coach a client, they won’t get it. They’ll be like, I’m not consciously choosing that.  I didn’t know I was consciously choosing that.  I guess I’m choosing that because it’s true. It’s reality. Like, don’t argue with reality. Right.  And so that’s where I come in and I show them this model and I say, no, actually, you are making a choice. And why are you making that choice?  And is that choice serving you? Is that helping you? Is there any upside to believing that you are? so behind and you will never catch up. Is there any upside to believing that you are, that there were so many places that you wanted to be that you’re not gonna ever get to? Is there any upside in that?  Now,  people might say too, because I’ve done a lot of coaching, they will usually refute that with, but it’ll push me, it’ll make me work harder.  And to that I say, okay, has it been? Have you been getting the results that you want? Usually it’s a no, because usually they feel crappy and. Maybe they have short bursts of time where they do,  but they aren’t sustainably producing the results they want because when you feel sucky,  as my client put it,  you don’t feel motivated or determined to create the results that you want. You feel more hopeless in some cases or demotivated  and you don’t create sustainable  action from  feeling sucky.  So  this is essentially how the model works. good example with my client this morning  of how we did it. And  I used the model to create my most recent job offer that I just got. And for those of you who haven’t been following or you don’t know,  I recently got a job offer  and I decided I needed to go out and get a job.  And I went and got I went and got one within 30 days  and within three weeks.  Like the the process didn’t take more than three weeks. to actually get the offer secured.  And I did this with this process using the model, looking at my circumstances, my thoughts, my feelings, my actions, and the result that I wanted to create.  And in the result line,  I wrote  secure, well-paying job.  And  I wrote that in,  and  that is what I created.  And so I created a, uh what do I call it? A deep dive  on how I did this. and it’s called Offer Accepted. And in it, I write down every single thing that happened to create that.  So it was  the thoughts, the feelings, the actions, the results in the interview room that allowed me to create that result. And the cool part about this for me  was it was so sturdy. Like there was no doubt throughout any of the process  because  these thoughts are very well practiced for me.  the thoughts that create a job offer are very well practiced for me.  I have been  practicing these my whole life basically.  And so when you practice thoughts, they get stronger and they get more powerful. And so that’s what I teach my clients is if you want to create a result,  you need to choose thoughts  that are gonna be strong and powerful in creating that result. And we can put the thoughts in the model and we can actually see.  Is that thought likely to create the result you want? Yes or no.  If it feels really crappy or sucky, then likely not.  Like it won’t create the result you want if it makes you feel like crap. um And it’s nuanced, right? Because you don’t want to feel peaceful either because peaceful won’t necessarily create the result. I mean, it could. It really depends on the person, but  certain feelings are going to create results. faster and more dependably. So for example, the feeling of certainty,  the feeling of determined,  the feeling of courageous,  these feelings are going to create results more sustainably  than feelings of  apathy or feelings of uh discouragement or disheartenment, um which is what a lot of job seekers I coach face. They end up feeling very apathetic or very discouraged or very disheartened um and they’re not when before they have the skill of, you know, using the model to create the new thoughts and feelings that they need to get them to the result,  they could end up just fighting that current, which is trying to change their actions all the time  and running out of energy, running out of steam, burning out before they get to the result. And that is the reason why people don’t get to their results.  It’s not because they’re not capable or because they’re not smart or because they’re not a good candidate or because they don’t have enough certifications or education or experience.  It’s none of that.  It is  what they are choosing to think. and they don’t know that they’re making choices that are not helping them or serving them.  So  I hope that episode was helpful for you. I am also doing  a fun thing to promote my offer accepted program,  which is I’m hosting a call where you can come to the call and ask me any interview question that you want to ask me. It could be an interview question that has stumped you before.  It can be an interview question that you just never really had a good answer to.  And I’m going to answer them in real time live on the call  without preparing.  I have done no preparation for this call.  And I will just be answering interview questions from the audience.  And whatever you ask me, I will give you an answer as if I was in an interview and you were the interviewer.  And if you stop me, if I legit don’t have an answer for your question, then you will win a prize. So it’s a win, win, win, right? You either get a prize or you get a helpful answer that you can use for your own interviews.  And you will see that I’m going to walk myself through the answers that I’m to come up with.  And I haven’t prepared at all. So this is one of the things I wanted to show people, because people think they need to prepare and rehearse and script out their answers and stuff.  And what I believe fully is that when you have the skill of interviewing, when you know how to interview and I believe that is a skill,  you can get the jobs that you want to get. You can move up in the career that you want to move up in. And you don’t  need to have all the boxes checked. You don’t need to have all the experience. You don’t need to have everything they listed because I was one of six candidates and I did not have everything.  And I discovered later that the six candidates, some of them had more experience than me. Some of them had more recent, more current experience.  And so I got this job  simply because of my interviewing skills  and my thought model skills. So I’m able to think in the way that I need to think to get myself the result that I wanted.  And I had  the skill of interviewing  to be able to make that result happen.  And the coolest part about it and why I really want to share it with everybody who’s interested  is because it was so sturdy. It was just, I know this is happening. I know this is what I’m doing. I know this is what I’m getting.  And  there was no doubt along the way in any way, shape or form. So  if I can give that to anybody, if I can share that with you, if I can… contribute that to your life  and you  want to be able to do that too, then this is one way I can do that is share on  the spot answers to questions.  And then also if you want to join me in Offer Accepted,  we’ll put that in the show notes and you can get that where I break down  everything that happened in that interview group down to the small talk,  down to the details, the nuance, what they asked, what I said when I asked it,  why I asked it, what I wanted them to be thinking when I said it.  Which questions were emotionally compelling? Because I knew that some questions were an opportunity to create an emotional resonant moment and some of them were not. so how I identified which ones were, which ones weren’t, how I ease their concerns, how I made them feel safety and trust to hire me with the stories I chose and why I chose them, all of that is available in Offer Accepted. If you’d like to join me for that, can. the link in the show notes. It’s a $97 price point, very affordable, and it will change the way that you interview for the rest of your life. And that’s it for me today. So thank you so much for joining and I will see you, well, you will hear me next week on the podcast and have a great week you guys.