I’m super excited to be talking about rejection this week! Rejection is a topic that comes up a lot with my clients and is something that many people feel uncomfortable with when applying for jobs. But rejection is never personal, and when you stop viewing it as such, everything will change.
Everybody gets rejected at some point, it’s inevitable. But the key is to stop allowing it to make you feel less worthy. This way of viewing rejection doesn’t serve you, and I’m here to help you think of it in a more positive way so that you can deal with it more effectively.
Join me this week as I show you how to reframe the way you think about being rejected and stop feeling knocked down if you aren’t successful in landing the job. I discuss the importance of pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and show you why rejection can actually be a good thing!
If you’re ready for 2021 to be the year you make the change, I’ve got you! In just three months, I can help you develop the mindset of a $100K earner, naturally attract the roles you want, and create your own opportunities that will have the right organization feeling lucky to have you interviewing as a candidate! Get in touch today, I’m so excited to help you land your dream job!
If you love listening to this podcast and you’ve always wanted to coach with me, now is your chance. I am offering a few limited spots for free coaching sessions, and it’s going to cost you one iTunes review. Pretty good deal, right? All you have to do is submit your iTunes review. Make sure you click the star rating and leave a written review. Take a screenshot of your submitted review and send me an email. I will send you a link to book your free coaching session. So I can’t wait to see your reviews coming in and I can’t wait to coach you.
What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
- Why we tend to dislike rejection.
- How to be less affected by rejection.
- Why you need to reject what’s not right for you.
- How to handle rejection more productively.
- Why interviewing for jobs is like dating.
- Three different ways you can look at rejection.
Listen to the Full Episode:
SUBSCRIBE FOR WEEKLY INSPIRATION ON
APPLE PODCASTS | SPOTIFY | STITCHER
Featured on the Show:
- Ready to start making a serious impact in your industry? Want to be on the podcast? Join me at http://nataliefisher.ca/start/.
- Check out my YouTube Channel!
- Let’s connect! Add me on LinkedIn.
DOWNLOAD TRANSCRIPT
Hello, and welcome to the Get a 6-Figure Job You Love podcast. This is episode 26, How to Become
Rejection Proof. Hey there, welcome to the Get a 6-Figure Job You Love podcast, I’m your host, Natalie
Fisher. I’m a certified career mindset coach who also happens to want to skip all the BS and get to what
it really takes to create real results for you and your career. On this podcast, you will create real mindset
shifts that will lead to big results and big changes in your career and your income. No fluff here.
If you want to get a six-figure job you love and create real concrete results in your industry and make a
real impact, you’re in the right place. Are you ready? Let’s go. Hello, hello. Today, I am super excited and
I never thought I’d be saying this, but I’m super excited to be talking about the topic of rejection. So it’s a
topic that comes up a lot during my coaching calls and part of the journey in everything, but in this job
search particularly can get very difficult for some people and I am feeling pretty well equipped to talk
about the topic of rejection because I’ve been rejected a ton of times and I’ve worked through it.
So in this podcast, I’m going to talk to you about a whole bunch of different ways that you can look at it.
So there’s going to be three different ways and I’m going to give you a bunch of questions to ask
yourself and just give you a complete reframe on how you think about you being rejected because it’s
going to happen if it hasn’t already, as you know. So we’re going to go really deep into this topic, it’s
going to be really fun, I promise and I think it’s going to be a long one because I have a lot to say on this
topic.
So sit down, get comfortable and let’s dive in. So the first thing I wanted to bring to light is that rejection
is the opposite of being accepted. Being rejected means that someone doesn’t like us, doesn’t value us
or doesn’t think that we’re important, that’s what the definition in the dictionary says. It just means that
this is one person’s opinion, one situation with one person, it didn’t work out. And it’s normal that this
would hurt us as humans. We would experience feelings of hurt and feel like we were unwanted and
devalued and it makes sense.
But so I’m going to get into to that as well as to why, like our brains are wired to not want to be rejected
because a lot of danger. But there are realistically now in the society that we live in, in the world, there
are 7.5 billion people on the planet last time I checked and they all want to be accepted single day. And
once we see the big picture of things and how unrealistic it’s actually going to be that we’re always
accepted. And in your head, I know you’re probably saying, “Yeah, yeah, I know, I know this is normal.”
But you’re still going to be affected by it.
So my goal here for the podcast is so that you are less affected by it to the point where you are not
affected by it anymore. And I think that’s possible. I’ve come to that point where it doesn’t bother me.
I’m not upset about it so I believe that’s possible for you too. Because even if you think about the best
person in the world that you admire and you love so much, and they’re also going to be rejected and if
they’re a famous person, they’re probably going to get rejected even more. So I’m just trying to think of
the people that I love the most or the famous people that come to mind. I’m like, “Even Beyonce gets
rejected.” Some people don’t like her.
I’m like, “What?” Or like Tony Robbins or the people who have made huge, incredible impacts in the
world have been rejected the most times. Because they’re in front of most people and there’s more
opinions. So we are dealing with rejection on a smaller scale where an individual organization is
rejecting us, saying, “No, you’re not the right fit.” Whatever, whatever. And so this is just the process of
sorting. So every human, every food, every wine, every brand name, everything that exists in the world
is going to be rejected at some point by someone or something.
And the most amazing thing here is that you also get to reject things. So it’s a good thing that this is the
way that the world works because you get to reject to, so you’re a part of this rejection cycle. And you
as a human, you have the right to reject things that are not right for you. So it’s like, “You need to live
your truth and say, I don’t like that or I don’t think that’s the best person for me.” You get to make those
decisions too, just as the rest of the world does. So it’s just how it goes and you don’t want to pick a
partner or pick something based on the fact that you don’t want to hurt their feelings so therefore you
don’t want to reject them. No, you want to reject what’s not right for you and we want other people to
reject what’s not right for them.
That’s how we live an honest life. We can live our true selves and we want everyone else to do this too.
So we want rejection. Rejection is a good thing for all of us. We want honesty. We really do. So we can’t
have the expectation that everyone will like us when we don’t even like everyone. So when you look at
it that way, it makes it less about you and it makes it more of a universal concept. It’s like, “Yeah, I’m
going to reject some people they’re going to reject me. I’m going to reject some foods. They’re not going
to care.” We’ll get into some examples of what that later. But yeah, we’re all totally entitled to our own
preferences, thoughts and opinions.
So our normal human need is to be accepted, to be part of the pack because our old primal
programming is telling us that if we are rejected or if we’re ex-communicated from the country or if
we’re isolated from the group of people like back in the caveman days, we would die. And so essentially,
we’re like rejection immediately causes negative emotion for us. And as we know in today’s world, that’s
not the case. If you get rejected from a job interview, you’re not going to die. So we need to handle it in
a more productive way so that we can still get what we want and we can keep going and we don’t have
to get knocked down by these rejections.
So I recommend you handle rejection with your eyes wide open. So be like, “I know that I want to be
accepted and it’s normal that I might feel bummed out if I don’t get this offer or when I don’t get this.
When something doesn’t work out that I wanted, it’s normal for me to feel bummed out and that’s
okay.” Because we all want to be accepted as humans. And so what I teach my clients is, is how to
process this emotion, process the negative emotion that they’re going through from being rejected
which is stronger in the beginning, you have to build your rejection muscle and then it doesn’t bother
you. But the biggest mistake that everyone normally always makes just automatically is they make it
mean something about their inherent value.
So immediately if they get rejected, they’re like, “Oh, there must be something wrong with me. I did
something wrong. I shouldn’t have said that. I am a failure. I wasn’t good enough.” So this is our normal
default narrative as I’ve worked with a lot of people. And those are the thoughts that make you feel
really bad about the rejection when the rejection is just a neutral circumstance. It’s like someone saying,
“Yeah, I don’t want that. That’s going to be just … I don’t think they’re my favorite fruit.” It’s no different
than that. But we make it mean that there’s something wrong with us.
So here’s why it makes no sense to do that at all. Rejection is not personal. People will argue with me
and they will say, “Well, of course it’s personal.” And you can choose to believe it’s personal, but I don’t
think that it helps us in any way because of what I was explaining about how the world is based on
rejection and that it’s okay because you get to be a part of it too. So I don’t think it’s helpful at all to
think of it in any way that it was personally about you in a negative way. It’s just the way of the world. So
some points I have to back that up is that if you look at yourself, your accomplishment, your unique
characteristics, you as a person, your personality, what you bring to the table in any given situation, that
is always the same.
So if somebody rejected you and you had all this value to offer you, you’ve had all these experiences in
the past, you’ve got some really great stuff to bring to the table. If someone rejects you, that doesn’t
change, it doesn’t go away, you don’t all of a sudden become less valuable. So that’s where the selfconfidence
and our confidence comes in. And where it really shows. Because if you are automatically
telling yourself that you’re not good enough because of a rejection, then it means that your selfconfidence
isn’t very high. Or your confidence isn’t very high because you’re immediately allowing that
negative or that untrue narrative to come in because you haven’t changed. You’re the same person, you
have the same value to offer and someone else is going to be like, “Oh great. This is exactly what we
were looking for.”
So that’s where it’s important to stand strong and bring yourself back to your own value, all your
accomplishments, all the things you’ve done, everything that you’ve already achieved with what you
have. And so I like to think of it in a couple of different ways with peaches. So you can be the juiciest
peach, the most sweetest, delicious peach, and someone is still not going to like peaches. We’re not
mad at the person for not liking peaches. If we really like peaches, we might be like, “What? I don’t
understand why don’t you like them?” But we’re not going to shame them for their taste in food. Think
of a food that you don’t like.
For me, it’s green peppers. I hate green peppers. For some reason, ever since I was little, I’ve hated
green peppers, but no one cares that I reject a green pepper. Pineapple pizza, some people love it, some
people hate it. Nobody is wrong or right, it’s just people’s opinions and that’s okay, everyone’s allowed
to have them, including you and dating is very much the same. So dating and job interviewing is very
much the same. It’s like sorting. You’re basically just going through the world, putting yourself in as
many opportunities as possible to discover your person, your organization, what’s right for you.
You’re going through the world and you’re just sorting. So imagine yourself, you’re sitting there, you’re
sorting through some boxes. You can use this analogy. You’re on an assembly line and you’re just going
through these boxes and you’re like, “Oh, that’s interesting. I wonder if this is the box for me?” Nope.
Put it back, move it on. Be like, bring another box in and be like, “Oh, I wonder if this is it. Nope. Okay.
Nope. Maybe it’s this one.” Or, “Oh, I like this one. This could be a possibility. This one has a lot of the
things that I like in it.”
If you just totally remove the emotion of it being personal, it’s just sorting. And this can keep us on track
because ultimately we want to keep going to get to our final result which is our dream job offer or to
find our ideal person or to discover the food that we want to eat for dinner every day or on a regular
basis or whatever it is. We get the joy in life of going through and discovering what’s right for us. So yes,
in the job situation and in the dating situation, you can get bummed out if you wanted something more
than they wanted you. And that’s just processing the emotion, accepting, being like, “Okay, well not
everybody likes everybody and that’s how it goes. And I’m bummed out and I’m allowed to feel bummed
out because I’m a human.”
Then you process the emotion and then you move on. Like I was saying, the biggest, most important
thing is that you do not make it mean something about you. So now I’m going to introduce you to three
different ways that you can look at rejection and the normal way that we do and how it doesn’t help. So
when we get rejected, this is what I’ve noticed from working with a lot of clients. When we get rejected,
our brain normally goes to student mindset. So a lot of my clients are very well-educated students and
so they’ve got this mentality of a student. And the mentality of a student is you have to get everything
right, you have to study really hard, you have to prepare, you have to know all the answers beforehand
and if you don’t, then you could fail, you could be a failure and nobody wants that, it’s embarrassing and
it’s terrible.
So with the student mindset, the brain is going to go to, “I didn’t perform well enough, I wasn’t good
enough. I didn’t sell myself strongly enough. I should have shown up differently, I should have said more
about this and less about this. I didn’t have the experience, I didn’t have the certifications.” Your brain is
going to come with a huge long list of things that make you not good enough, that make you think
you’re not. This comes from being a good student and wanting to get all the things right. Your brain
takes it as a, “Well, I didn’t get an A, I didn’t even pass. Therefore, I did it wrong, therefore I’m a failure
and I’m bad and shameful and I want to go curl up in my bed.”
This is normal because this is the way of thinking that served you to get results as a student. So you
studied and then you did well on the test, but for job hunting and for achieving goals in the real world,
we need different perspectives to be able to look at rejection that is going to help you a lot more than
thinking like a good student. So the first one, this is probably the best, most effective one, but I like all
three. The first one is the scientist. So if you’re looking at this rejection as a neutral situation, it’s like,
“Okay. They sent me an email that said that I wasn’t a good fit.” The scientist creates a hypothesis like,
“Okay, well, I thought that I was going to be a good fit for that role. The job description seem to match
up really well. I thought that I had explained myself really well, but obviously I missed something here.
Maybe I wasn’t as good a fit as I thought.” And they start thinking about that.
So they have a hypothesis, then they test it. Then they take the results of that test and they retested the
next interview. So my best clients, they’re always testing. They’re always thinking like this, they’re
jumping immediately into scientist mindset. Okay? The interview is a form of preparation for the next
interview, that’s how they’re thinking. When the scientist gets a rejection message, the scientist’s
reaction might be, “Hmm, this is very interesting. My hypothesis was that I’d answered those questions
well.” And then they dig deep and they get curious about what they could have done differently, how
they could have taken different action the next time. And there’s always a way, they don’t beat
themselves up.
They don’t say, “Oh, I should have done that different. I suck.” They think back to the events of the
interview to the problems that need to be solved from the organization standpoint and how they
communicated them. And they ask themselves questions to find out if there were things that they
forgot to mention or things that they maybe didn’t hit on that were really important or questions that
they maybe did forgot to ask. And they’re going to be more tuned in to their own ability to solve these
problems at a higher level next time they go for an interview where they think they’re a really good fit
based on the job spec or having the conversations that they’ve had, et cetera.
They think back to how connected they were to the interviewers, how they felt. Did they miss a chance
to connect more on a personal level? Perhaps they just keep an open mind, questioning and evaluating
along the way until they feel they get some insight into their own performance. Then they prepare for
the next interview and they take that with them. So that knowledge and that learning that they get from
the evaluation is always going to be with them. So they’re always growing. The second way to think
about it is as an artist.
So an artist knows that there’s a unique and original expression in their art and they live for this
originality. So what comes to mind for me is when I was in high school, there’s always the people who
really want to stand out and express themselves very originally. So they might have a different colored
hair, they might dress creatively with different piercings. And so they’re proud of that and they wouldn’t
change it for the world like an artist as well. So they paint a work of art, there’s no rules for how to paint
the art.
There’s no rules for how you need to dress, you get to decide. So the artist knows they have a unique
personality, attitude and dynamic that they want to bring and they will bring that to the team anywhere
they go. And when this artist is faced with the rejection, their automatic response is going to be like, “Oh
well, they obviously don’t understand my art. They don’t appreciate good art because really good art
requires honesty and it requires courage and it requires taking risks and it’s going to get strong reactions
and they know that.”
So their automatic response is never, “Oh, I wasn’t good enough.” It’s, “Well, they don’t understand.” Or
they might think, “I’m misunderstood. I’m looking for the people who understand me.” And the people
who are unique like that, they do find their people. And they’re happier. They’re not going to be happy
hanging out with a bunch of people who don’t understand them. So this is a different example. I’m sure
you’ll resonate with one of the three more so. So maybe it’s the scientist, maybe it’s the artist, but
either, people love it or hate it and not everyone loves it. And that’s the whole point.
So when you choose the artist mindset and someone rejects you after an interview, basically, it’s like
they chose another person’s painting over your painting, the artist thinks, “They just don’t appreciate or
know how to value my unique art.” In fact, they might take it a step further and decide to double it
down on standing in their originality. They might be like, “Well, you know what? I think I’m going to turn
it up a bit and be even more me.” They ground themselves even deeper in what they really want to
express in the world.
So that is courageous and as a side note, I have had many clients who they will try to people please in
interviews. So they will be trying to actually be somebody else. So there’ll be looking for the
interviewer’s response. They’ll be like, “Oh, I wonder if I said the right thing. They’re looking for the
reaction of the interviewer.” They’re trying to be something for the interviewer’s approval to happen.
And we know we’re doing this when we’re paying more attention to their reaction, trying to read them
more than we are thinking about how you can bring value to the table, how you would fit in, what their
problem is, how you can solve it.
If you’re thinking more about them, what they’re thinking about you, how they might be judging you,
what they might be thinking about you, then we know that you are outsourcing your validation to them.
And you’re people pleasing and essentially being needy, that’s needy behavior and it’s a turnoff. So an
artist is the opposite of this. They’re allowed expression of, “This is me, and this is my art, and this is
what I’m showing up as in the world and if you don’t like it, that’s totally fine.”
So it’s just an extreme expression of how you might look at a rejection, how an artist might look at a
rejection, so they wouldn’t even consider going to the place where they think, “Oh, I should have
painted it differently. I should have changed the coloring here so they would like it better.” They would
never go there because then they’d be conceding to be someone they’re not and the point of art is to
express themselves. So they would stand proudly in their unique honesty and courage and even be
proud of that our particular organization did not appreciate their art because it means strong opinions
and strong opinions mean good art.
A strong candidate means they won’t be liked by everybody. Someone with a strong personality is going
to repel some people. And so I think the cliche is like vanilla. Vanilla is boring, but everybody likes
vanilla, but you know what? Still not true. There are some people who still don’t like vanilla. There’s
more people in the world who are going to like vanilla and yes, vanilla could be considered boring. And
then like, “I like vanilla, but I like to put some chocolate sprinkles or something in it like some nuts to
make it a bit more interesting.”
So even vanilla people don’t like. So it’s like that image of like you watering yourself down so that more
people will like you. Artists never do that, they are not interested in that, that is not why they are doing
what they are doing. They live for that unique expression of themselves. And the scientist lives for the
discovery, the big discovery of what’s going to work, which hypothesis should I test next and they get
really into that and they’re very focused and excited on that. And both of these mindsets never go into,
“I’m not good enough. I didn’t do it right. I failed.” Because that’s not useful to us so that’s two.
So the third one is the monk. The monk is committed to the path. The monk knows that this rejection
has been put there and he clearly knows that there’s a lesson to be learned from it. And he needs to see
what it is, he or she. He or she is not affected by ups and downs of the process to get to the bigger goal
because they know it’s not an automatic reward that tomorrow brings. He’s not in it to get the cookie
right away or the reward right away. The monk is devoted to the path, to become the person he’s
supposed to become through the process and he’s committed to the process, he’s committed to
mastering it.
Monks don’t mind if the work is monotonous, they don’t do it for validation. They’re looking for the
deeper meaning and the deeper learning and it all happens for them. This is what they believe. So for
example, someone may have offered you feedback for that interview, that your stories were not strong
enough. That’s feedback that my clients sometimes get. The monk will take the mindset of this. And
they’ll be like, “Hmm, I’m supposed to learn how to master my stories. How can I make them stronger?
This obstacle has been put in my path so that I can learn to become better at this.”
So then they recommit, they mastered the process on a deeper level and they will always be asking,
“What can I learn that serves the purpose that I’m dedicated to here? How can I use this rejection?” So
when you are out there interviewing and working towards your goals, your next career goal, your
mission is to get out of the student mindset. It no longer helps you. You get into the scientist, artist or
monk mindset and learn to think like that. So choose one and be like, “Okay, if I’m going to get rejected
because I know I am, this is how I’m going to choose to approach it.” Discover the process and see what
it offers you when you’re looking at it from these perspectives.
Be honest and courageous enough to walk your own path. This is where the biggest rewards are going to
come from, I promise you. And then, yeah, there’s a couple of other things I wanted to talk about too.
So the next one was, this was more for dating, but I really loved this analogy. So it’s like, I’m not sure
how many of you listening are wine connoisseurs. I’m not a big wine connoisseur, but even cheeses or
things that people really have strong opinions about. Some people are going to love blue cheese or
really appreciate an expensive Brie cheese or some people are not, they’re going to be like, “Yeah, it’s
nice, but I’d rather have like a mozzarella or I’d be just as happy with a mozzarella.” Or a wine, say a fine
wine. Some people will be really, really into fine wine.
So there’s the wine tasting and they have the palate cleansers and so they can’t have the one taste
interfering with the other one because they need to really taste it, they really need to absorb that very
unique flavoring. And so you could give somebody the most expensive, fancy wine in the world and it
could be aged for the right amount of time and come from the most famous vineyard in the world and
be made with the most amazing grapes. You could give somebody this wine and if they are not a
connoisseur of wine and they don’t understand the wine, they might have a sip and be like, “Yeah, it’s
good. It’s fine.”
Not understanding how big of a deal this wine is. And then somebody else might try that same wine and
be like, “Oh my God, this is amazing. I feel like I’ve just gone to heaven and it makes their taste buds sing
and they feel so good about it.” And they’d be happy to pay $200 for this bottle. But somebody else
exact same wine might be like, “Yeah, it’s nice. Sure. I’ll drink it.” But, “Whatever, I could also drink a $10
bottle and it’d be fine.” So some people just aren’t going to have the palate for you. They’re not going to
appreciate you. And so I went through this experience recently with dating where I was dating this guy
and he was like, “Yeah, sure.” I was like, “So when are we going to hang out again? Or are we going to
do something this weekend?”
He’s like, “Sure, yeah. Okay.” But he never initiated and he didn’t really seem to care if we did or not. He
was just like, “Yeah, okay.” Like everything I said, he was like, “Yeah, sure.” But if I didn’t do anything, he
wouldn’t care. So I kind of thought of like, “He doesn’t have the palate for me because he really doesn’t
care.” In the end, I think I talked about it a little bit, but I ended up ending that with him because there
were some other red flags too, but when you’re dating or when you’re going on job interviews, not
everyone’s going to have the palate for you, to appreciate you and you don’t want to go into a situation
where somebody isn’t going to appreciate and value you because somebody else is just like the wine.
They’re going to be very happy to pay $200 for that bottle of wine.
They’re going to be very happy to pay you a 100K more, 100K or more for what you bring to the table.
And some people aren’t, some people are going to be like, “Yeah, she is okay. We could just as easily go
with this cheaper candidate who can also do what we want.” They’re not going to see that value. And
while it is your responsibility to continue to get better at showing that and expressing that and really
solving their problems so that they can see that value, it’s also not always going to be seen by
everybody, not everybody’s going to have the palate for you. And that’s also okay. It comes along with
what I was talking about in the beginning about the opinions.
Everyone has an opinion and none of the opinions that people have are wrong, not even yours. You
might not have the palate for some people to appreciate. You won’t have the palate for some foods,
that’s also fine. And then the final thing before I get to the questions is regret versus rejection. So when
we are out there getting rejected, we will have less regret because when you get rejected, it means you
went for it. You went for it, you put yourself in a situation where you could get rejected and that in itself
was courageous. That in itself took you stepping out of where you were probably comfortable in order
to get put in that situation where you could get rejected.
And what happens if we don’t do that, if we let rejection slow us down or shut us down is that we will
end up looking back and having more regrets because we didn’t go for it. So this is a story that I saw
somebody else that I was following. So he was saying that he was at a club and he was dancing with this
girl and he really liked her. And then she just disappeared and ghosted him. And so this man who was
talking about this, I thought he was pretty attractive. I’m like, “Why would someone goes to him? He’s
pretty nice looking. And he’s a really good guy. I like his videos and stuff.”
I’m like, “Why would anyone goes to him?” Anyway, so he said, he’s like, “But I really liked her.” So he’s
like, “I was just going to go find her and just tell her that I want to keep getting to know you.” And she
said no, she’s she just said, “No, not interested.” And she walked away again and ghosted him again. And
he chose to take the perspective of, “I will now have no doubt that I did everything I could to see.” So he
was like, “I don’t regret going up there and having her reject me because I needed to go through and see
whether or not there was a chance there and there wasn’t, but I don’t regret it because at least I know
for sure.”
So I love that perspective too because it’s like, “You don’t want to hold yourself back from getting into
these situations where you could potentially get rejected because you’re not missing out on a rejection,
you’re missing out on potentially the best thing.” So if you decide not to go because you could get
rejected, then you’re missing out on potentially something that could have been right for you. And if it
isn’t, then at least you know for sure, you have no doubts and I love that. So there’s my last argument
for rejection.
And finally, I want to leave you with some questions to ask yourself when you get rejected or when you
get ghosted or otherwise ignored by people in the world. So the first question is what am I making this
mean about me as a person, me as a human? Am I making this mean anything about my inherent value?
And if you are, remind yourself of the points that we talked about. Second question, how can I use this
experience to become more resilient? What would a resilient person think about this rejection? Or what
would a scientist think about this? What would an artist think about this? Or what would a monk think
about this? You can choose whichever one. How will this show me what I’m capable of? What is the
purpose of this to learn from? What is something I would like to have done differently?
And this is important to know that your self-evaluating here and you get to decide, I would have liked to
have told that story a bit differently and you want to do it for you. So not necessarily because you think
that they would have liked it better, or you would have told it differently for them, but because you are
looking at it and you’re like, “I think I could have pointed this out and strengthened this and made this a
bit more impactful when I spoke about it. So you’ve got to make sure that you’re evaluating for yourself.
In what ways is this the best thing that could’ve happened? And really like force yourself to come up
with some answers because they’re always there. Even if you can’t see them till a little down the road.
What can I control about this? The answer to that is always control your mindset and how you respond
to it. What you choose, what you’re thought is that you choose? What would I tell my best friend who’s
having the same experience right now? How would I talk to him or her if they had just been rejected? If
say, and you just picture them been going through the exact same thing that you are, how would you
talk to them? And then talk to yourself that way.
In the big picture, do I care about this? When I’m sitting in my new dream role, do I really care about this
rejection? The answer is no. What would my future self who has the job I want say to me right now in
this moment? What would they say about this circumstance of this rejection? What is the way that you
will become stronger from this very situation? If a child was telling you this story, what would you tell
them? What would you be able to teach them in this moment? How did you show up in the best way
possible in the face of this circumstance of rejection? And what does future you think about this now?
And just to go into a little bit more detail about the child thing, I love using that analogy because when a
child fails or falls down or doesn’t do a very good kick on the soccer field or wipes out, we would never
dream of saying, “Yeah, you suck, you fail. You’re no good at soccer, go sit out.” We would never do
that, but we do that to ourselves. And I want you to think about what the child would make that mean,
how they would react, how their life would be different if we were always saying that. And I know that
we sometimes still do that with tests and stuff like you failed the test, you’re not smart.
But we want to cultivate this scientist mentality, especially with that because if the child wiped out, he’s
just going to get up and try again. That’s what our inherent nature is to do. And then as we grow up, we
get all these limiting beliefs as to why we’re not good enough and those don’t serve us. So I just want
you to pay really close attention to that and use these questions to ask yourself the next time you get
rejected and it’s a good thing that you did. It’s okay, there’s nothing wrong with you. So with that, I want
to leave you with, and I don’t know if I read this out before, but it was just so good and I want everybody
to hear it.
I had so many really lovely responses from my email and on the LinkedIn post that I did where I just
wanted to share it with everybody that I could. So if you’ve heard it before, forgive me, but you’re on
the exact path you need to be on. If you feel like you haven’t done enough this year, just know you have
done a lot this year even if that was just to stay alive, you’re worthy right now without having done
anything. Even if you just sat on the couch and eat cookies and watch Netflix, I for sure did this some
days. You are worthy as a human no matter what you accomplished or didn’t, no matter how much you
slept or didn’t, no matter what you got done or didn’t, it was all perfect. It was exactly how it was
supposed to be. You are exactly on the right path. You do not need to accomplish or get a certain
amount of things done before you are worthy. You just are. That’s already been decided. We know this
because you are here and alive now on the planet.
Focus on what you did do, did you take care of yourself and your family as best you could? Did you get
up each morning? Whatever that looked like for the day, did you connect with someone? Change their
perspective, make them feel a little lighter, give them a little levity. Look for what is there, not for what
isn’t. When it’s not enough, we never get more. When it’s never enough, we never feel good. We can’t
create more from being in lack and scarcity mentality. Thank you my friends for listening, I hope you
enjoyed this episode and I will talk to you next week.
So if you love listening to this podcast and you’ve always wanted to coach with me, now is your chance. I
am offering a few limited spots for free coaching sessions, and it’s going to cost you one iTunes review.
Pretty good deal. So all you have to do is submit your iTunes review, make sure you click the star rating
and leave a written review. Take a screenshot of your submitted review and send it to my personal
email at natalie@asknataliefisher.com, that’s all you have to do. I will send you a link to book your free
coaching session until spots fill up and I’ll be sharing these with my community.
So if you’ve got something you need coaching on, I can assure you, somebody else is going to benefit
from that too and it’s going to be a win-win for all of us. So can’t wait to see your reviews coming in and
I can’t wait to coach you. Talk to you soon, bye. Thanks for listening to this episode of Get a 6-Figure Job
You Love podcast. If you’re ready to dive deeper into your career mindset and start creating bigger,
more impactful results in your career. Join me at www.nataliefisher.ca/getstarted. I’ll see you over
there.
Enjoy the Show?
- Don’t miss an episode, follow the podcast on Spotify and subscribe via Apple Podcasts, Stitcher or RSS.
- Leave me a review in Apple Podcasts.
- Join the conversation by leaving a comment below!