Hey there, I’m Natalie Fisher. I’m a six-figure business builder,  a mom of a two-year-old,  the recoverer of a ten-year narcissistic relationship and now in a super healthy one,  and most of all, I’m a human who’s figuring this out with you.  This podcast is about how to use your mind to thrive in your career  and create the subconscious breakthroughs that you need to get there, the subconscious blocks that you don’t even know you have to achieving your highest levels of earning and your best zone of genius. moments and days in the flow.  That is my goal for you.  Let’s dive into the episode.  And before we dive into today’s episode, I want to remind you that I’m the coach who is always going to point you back in the direction of your own wisdom.  And so before we get started, I want to remind you, listen to your own wisdom first.  This means listen to yourself first and me second and anyone else for that matter. Take what resonates and throw away what doesn’t unapologetically. I won’t be mad, I won’t be offended, in fact I will be proud of you for doing so.  Because I know from a lot of personal experience that anything is only as effective as the amount of resonance that it has within your uniquely built brain.  And something is only gonna work if it feels right to you  and if you believe in it.  Or if you want to do the work to believe in it. And that’s what I’m here to help you do. Your inner wisdom is infinitely more valuable than mine when it comes to getting your outcomes and for what you are here to do on this planet.  So I’m here to help you  steer that wisdom in the most powerful way possible.  I’m so happy you’re here.  I’m so glad you’re here part of this. I’m so glad we’re here on the planet at the same time.  Let’s dive into today’s episode. Hello, welcome to the podcast this week.  I am recording an episode today  on  hopelessness, the feeling of hopelessness. So  I felt this feeling, I’ve been coaching clients on this feeling  and it’s very clear to me now what this feeling comes from. It comes from a series of thoughts that go like this. The thoughts are,  I’m never gonna be able to get this job. I’m never gonna get out of this situation. This is just never gonna work. It’s never gonna happen.  And that creates a feeling of hopelessness.  So the opposite of that would be like say you’re  in a financial  crisis and you  are like, you’re like, yeah, but I’m gonna be able to borrow some money and then I’ll get back on track or  I’ll be able to get this part-time job and then I’ll get back on track or  like That’s the opposite of hopelessness. It’s like there’s hope there’s a step. There’s a thing right  and there’s always hope hopelessness is a lie  and I’m gonna expand on that in this episode Because we never know what’s actually gonna happen Our brain wants to think it’s going to predict the future and it’s gonna tell us that you know We’re never gonna succeed at what we want because we because it’s telling us that the past evidence says we won’t succeed. Like I just had this client, she’s like this wonderful client and she’s like I’ve been at this for eight months and she just we just had our first session and she’s like I’ve been at this for eight months and I just feel like it’s never gonna happen and I’m like okay how old are you? She’s like 24 and I’m like okay so you’re telling me that you seriously you’re you seriously believe that you’re gonna be 80 years old and you’re still gonna be sitting there being like I can’t get a job. And I’m like no that’s ridiculous right like how ridiculous is that of course it’s gonna happen  and  The the hopelessness thing it’s it’s very it’s a painful emotion. It’s a vicious emotion it sucks, and I’ve been there  and  One of the stories that one of my mentors shared on her podcast um Was  the thing that moved me  to tears and it was  that hopelessness is a lie. Hopelessness is a lie. And she she’s the one who coined that phrase.  Her name is Kara Lowenthal. She is a feminist confidence coach. um She used to be a lawyer. Anyway, go follow her, Kara Lowenthal. She’s amazing.  She talked about this on her podcast and the part about hopelessness being a lie, which  is what  made me,  you know, I know that I never have to feel hopeless now.  because of the story.  So the story was told by the woman who plays the marvelous Miss Maisel and she was talking about her grandma or her great-grandma or something who was in the Holocaust  and how  she  was standing in line to be shot into a pit  and  everybody was just lining up  to move and get shot  and that would seem like the most hopeless situation that you could ever go through in your whole life. Right? Like  I would think that’s the most hopeless situation you could ever be in.  And her great grandma or her grandma, I don’t remember the exact details of the story,  had asked one of the guards,  what happens if I step out of line?  And the guards responded with, I don’t have the heart to shoot you, but somebody will.  And so she stepped out of line  and she survived.  And now  her descendants and her like her family is alive because of it.  And that situation is the most hopeless situation I think that we could ever think of. And  that situation wasn’t hopeless. But because she had that question, she had the guts to ask that question, her brain thought, okay, well, if I’m gonna get shot anyway, I’m stepping out of line. And she survived.  And with our brains, what we tend to do is, when we start telling ourselves it’s hopeless, the thoughts are, you know, this is never gonna work, what if I never get there, what if I never succeed?  Then  our brain will spiral into that and it will just get better at thinking those things and it will make it less likely for us to find ways to succeed, right? So if we’re thinking it’s hopeless and there’s no point, then we’re not going to… send the message. We’re not going to go to the event. We’re not going to um send our resume to that person that said we should send it to them.  We’re not going to ask that person for a coffee. We’re not going to send the message. We’re not going to do the things we need to do when we’re believing it is hopeless and there is no point.  And the things we need to do are the things that will make it hopeful, right? It’ll make it more possible and  it’ll look like you’re making progress and you’ll see the progress that you’re making  and You will see exactly how that path is gonna unfold  That’s another episode I’ve done in the past or can do another one on the how is not predetermined like you are figuring out the how with every step that you take  and the how is not something that just gets handed to you  I  I believe that it was supposed to be for a long time and I was like, hey, let me do these step by steps and if it doesn’t work, I’m going to blame the coach. I’m going to get mad  at the person who  who sold me this program. It’s not working. Right.  And the how is nuanced. The how is different. The how is different for me than it was for that other person who got that great testimonial. The how  is up to me to figure out in taking the next steps.  And the how will never be figured out  in. if you are feeling hopeless more than you are feeling  determined, right?  Or more than you are feeling committed to making something happen for yourself.  And so if you’re feeling hopeless right now, which I’ve coached clients on  this thought, I know that it’s something that people feel, I know that I have been there myself,  then I want you to remember, hopelessness is a lie. You have no idea what is going to happen  if you were to show up as your best self Your best self doesn’t wait around for you to feel great to do something your your best self  will take the steps  if you’re showing up as your best self and You are giving yourself a legitimate chance to succeed Even though you cannot control everybody’s responses everybody’s response time or everybody’s decisions You can control how you’re showing up and if you’re showing up consistently  your best self, you have no idea what’s gonna happen. You don’t know if it’s never like if like  and the whole never ever is gonna happen is silly  really because no situation is forever right?  Like you could be in a hard season right now you could be going through a hard time but it’s not like  it can’t be forever like I think Tony Robbins said once he’s like he’s like if you’re crying you can’t you literally can’t Cry for a whole day like your body doesn’t have enough water to  like you you can’t cry for a whole day Eventually, you’re gonna get the tears out. You’re gonna have processed that emotion and you’re gonna stop crying  You might cry again later.  Maybe you have more to process, but you literally cannot cry for a whole day straight You don’t have enough tears in your body or I don’t know how he said it but it made me think of course  because every emotion is temporary every season of life is temporary  and everything that you are going through is Moving it’s moving and it’s buzzing and things are happening  like in  in the universe We are we live in a moving buzzing universe  things do not stay still stagnant all the time forever So the fact that you’re thinking I’m never gonna succeed or I’m never gonna get this job or this is never gonna work out for me  is A lie in itself because that’s not possible for you to know that it’s not possible for you to know But it’s also not possible for you to stay in the same situation  because things are going to change  and  how you show up will dictate whether they change for the better or they change for the worse or  they stay the same  for you in your circumstance now.  So,  hopelessness is a lie.  If you show up as your best self, you don’t know  what is going to happen. You don’t know who could respond to you. You don’t know what conversation you could get into.  You don’t know what opportunity you could be given. You don’t know what thoughts or ideas you can have from going to  a particular event.  um or  going to  you know, a friend’s house or going out to a dinner or  whatever it is you  you know, you got invited to do or you felt called to do or you saw and felt resonance with  you don’t know what will happen when you move and take that action  and Hopelessness is saying that you do know and that’s not possible  Your brain cannot predict the future as much as it would like to  and the reason it wants to predict the future so much is because  it wants to  it wants to be certain at any costs. So even if that means  that the cost is it tells you you’re not getting what you want or that you failed ahead of time  and that like a lot of people they will pre-reject themselves right they’ll be going for interviews and they’ll be getting rejected  and they’ll start thinking well I’m just gonna get rejected like it’s not even gonna matter like there’s not even any point and they’ve basically pre-rejected themselves in their own head right  so  you cannot  you cannot predict it but if you’re thinking and predicting it it’s more likely that that’s what you’re going to see because your brain wants to be proven right right so if you believe you’re going to get rejected with all your heart you’re  the likelihood that you show up in a way that makes them reject you or that makes you easy to reject  is higher  if you believe that you are You have value and you’re a great candidate and that you can solve their problems and that you’re curious and that you’re ready to help and that you have Lots of proof to show your value and if you show up like that  Even though you don’t have any control over the outcome  You have a much higher chance of them seeing that of them believing that of them being drawn to you and you resonating with them  you have all of that  and therefore you  drastically increase the chances that they are going to see that and feel that from you and select you  and Versus the other side of it you if you’re thinking oh, I don’t know if they see me as the right person for this role I don’t know if I can really do this you show up as someone who’s like asking them for validation and permission  and Therefore that’s how they see you they see you as someone who is in confident or they see you as somebody who doesn’t have the validation within themselves to believe that you’re capable and that’s what you need to do is you need to go first. You need to be able to go first and validate yourself. Choose yourself, approve of yourself before you can confidently go into interviews and expect anybody to choose you,  especially in a competitive space where they have lots of other people who are probably showing up really confidently and clearly.  So,  helplessness is a lie. It’s not real. If you feel helpless right now, just know that it is a figment of your imagination. You are not in a hopeless situation, no matter what it might feel like right now. I hope this helped.  Wow, you made it to the end.  That’s awesome. I’m glad you’re here.  Sometimes listening to a podcast is enough,  and sometimes you have that nudge to go deeper.  Sometimes you have questions about your specific situation, you still feel unclear. and you’d like to get some clarity around what your next steps are.  If that feels like you and this podcast has resonated with you,  I invite you to sign up for a one-on-one call with me.  This is a free call where we will map out exactly what is going on with you,  where you are now, where you would like to be,  and what is getting in the way.  We can decide from there  what the next best steps are.  Worst case scenario, you leave with further clarity. best-case scenario, you leave with a full plan on how to implement with my support.  I look forward to meeting you.