Hello, hello! Welcome to the Get a Six-Figure Job You Love and Thrive podcast and YouTube channel. This is episode 227, Four Unexpected Ways to Prepare for an Interview or an Important Meeting. Stay tuned! All right, so the expected ways that someone would tell you to prepare for a meeting are, I googled them, they’re going to be normally something like, research the people that you’re meeting with, see if you have anything in common with them, or research the company, read the website, do this, do that, right? It’s like very generic stuff that people are going to tell you to do.

So in this video, I wanted to do something totally different. That’s not what I’m going to tell you to do. All that stuff is good, but it’s not what I’m going to talk about today.

Okay, so the first thing is, is relieving the pressure off yourself. So if you have an interview, you have an important meeting coming up, I want to talk about it in both senses, because an interview is an important meeting, but maybe you have a presentation at work or something, and this is a fear a lot of my clients have. They’re afraid they’re going to speak up and do it wrong or something.

Same with the interview. You’re afraid you’re going to answer something, and you’re going to answer it wrong or something, right? So the first thing is, is to take the pressure off. So there’s a few ways to do that.

And first, I’ll address in an interview how you take, the easiest way to take the pressure off is by having other things happening. So you can create other things happening, other irons in the fire, other balls in the air, other people you’re going to be talking to, by simply reaching out to a bunch of people, right? You can do a blitz. You can say, hey, I’m going to reach out to my past coworker.

I’m going to set up a meeting with my old manager. I’m going to set up a meetup with three of my friends. I’m going to set up a little thing at the gym or something.

Like you can set up things that are totally within your control to gather people in your life together. And that will just tell your brain immediately, I have other things going on. So everything is not riding on this one interview, okay? And that itself will relieve the pressure.

I can’t tell you how many times I have clients who will ace an interview because they have two or three other interviews already scheduled, right? So you can create that momentum for yourself by doing a blitz and starting to create that for yourself, okay? So that’s one way to release the pressure. If it’s like an important meeting and you’re going in there and you’re afraid, you’re going to see something wrong or you’re not going to have an answer to a question or whatever. A great question to ask yourself here is, if that worst case scenario happened, what would I do, right? And you’re always going to have an answer.

And if you don’t, your brain is going to think about it and you’re going to come up with an answer. And then you can relax. You can be like, okay, well, if that does happen, then I will do this.

If this happens, I will do this, right? And which leads me to my next point, which is get into curiosity mode. Curiosity mode is very, very powerful. So this is the second thing.

You want to get into curiosity. Whether this is going to be an interview or an important meeting, getting into curiosity will never fail you, okay? Even if it’s just going into a difficult conversation with somebody to talk about something that’s difficult to bring up, getting into curiosity will never fail you. Here is why.

First of all, you take the focus off yourself when you get curious about the other person, right? That happens right away. And when you start to get curious about the other person, their wants, their needs, their motivations, it kind of diffuses anything that could be perceived as judgment towards you, right? So I remember I had this awesome leader that I worked with and he was presenting something that was kind of controversial that not everybody was going to agree with. And he knew this.

He was presenting it and I’m sure he was nervous about it. And so people brought up questions. They said, well, what about this? What about that? Have you thought of this? And so he addressed however he could.

After he addressed it, he would say, I appreciate that and please tell me what your concerns are, right? He would always ask for their concerns. And that opened up, I noticed by observing, it opened up a lot of really healthy discussion, right? They would say, well, I’m concerned about this. I’m concerned about this.

And then he could start thinking, okay, how can I ease their concerns, right? And this is not something that I recommend in an interview. This is more like a meeting because sometimes if you, when you’re talking with coworkers who you’ve already established, you have a relationship with, they know you, you’re coming to an agreement. In an interview, I don’t recommend you ask what their concerns are because they probably won’t tell you.

They don’t know you well enough. It’s just awkward. They’re going to be like, no, I don’t have any concerns.

I’ll let you know. Like, no, like if someone asked me that and I just met them, I wouldn’t tell them my concerns. I might, like, I don’t know that I would know to tell them or how I would voice them, right? There’s different places to address or to use different tools, but the curiosity comes in handy in either place.

And the way that you use it differently in an interview than in a meeting is in the interview, you would say something like, what is a day in the life like of this position? And that comes from a curiosity of, will I even like it here? You know, that curiosity is for you. It’s to say, I don’t even know if I want this yet. I’m not really sure.

I’m still making a decision here. So I’m going to get curious and ask some questions to see if I think this is going to work for me, right? And so that’s a great question to ask is, what is a day in the life of this position, right? And if they ask you, what’s your five-year plan or what do you think you’ll be up to in five years? You can say, I’m interested to know what you think the plan would be for somebody who’s in this role in five years if they stayed in this role and they were really committed to excellence in this role, what would their trajectory be, right? And you can say, and based on that, then I would be able to give you a more accurate description of where I plan to be in five years if I’m hired for this role, right? Makes perfect sense, right? Because that’s a collaboration. You’re saying, hey, I’m not only interested in this role, but I’m curious too about where you see it going, right? And it’s all speculation.

Nobody knows, right? Nobody has it set in stone. It’s not for sure. But by coming back to that curiosity piece and by having those curious questions and the curiosity is really to honor yourself, right? In an interview, it’s to say, slow down here.

I don’t know if I want this or not yet. This is what an in-demand candidate thinks, right? They think I’m here to make a decision. I’m here to make call and I’m gonna ask questions based on that.

And that takes that whole, they’re not just interviewing you, you’re interviewing them into an actual application because we talk about that. That can be a nice platitude, but that’s how you actually do it is you get curious about them, okay? All right. So the third one is telling yourself some affirmations that are gonna calm your nervous system down, okay? So whether that’s for an interview or for an important meeting, okay? And these are gonna be unique to each person, okay? So if you are somebody who is nervous about public speaking or you are nervous about interviewing, you will need to tell yourself some things that are going to calm you, okay? So I’ll just paint a picture here as an example.

Somebody who’s really nervous about an interview or an important meeting, they’re going to probably start catastrophizing, which is a word for imagining the worst case scenario, playing out the worst case scenario. That’s what our brain does. And it’s to protect us so that we maybe won’t go or so that we maybe will think we can prepare for it better, right? But I wanna help you use it to your advantage.

So if you are catastrophizing and you say, okay, what if they don’t like me? What if they don’t resonate with what I say? What if I freeze during the time I have to answer? I want you to ask yourself, okay, say that happens, what would I do next? Okay, and that’s just gonna tell your brain that you can handle it, right? I remember once Oprah, she walked, she came up onto the stage, she starts walking across the stage and she fell, okay? She fell flat on her face. And you know what she did? She got back up, she approached the microphone and she said, boy, I wore the wrong shoes today. And everybody laughed and so it continued.

And I thought to myself, you know, if Oprah can trip on the stage in front of a bunch of people, me freezing or being nervous or saying something that wasn’t perfectly correct is something I can probably manage too, right? Cause like, if we think about that being the ultimate fear, you tripped on the stage in front of a large crowd of people and you could still get up and do your talk and everything could work out fine. You can go to an interview, you don’t have to get everything perfect and you can still be okay, right? You can get the job and that’s, I’ll add that in. I have frozen in interviews, my face has been shaking in interviews, I have been late for an interview and I have still gotten hired for these jobs, right? And I can tell you that it wasn’t a big deal, right? So I’m shaking, my face was shaking and they said to me, they even said, hey, are you okay? You seem really nervous.

And I said, yeah, that’s probably because I am. Everybody laughs, we move on, okay? So you don’t have to be perfect and you have to have, well, you don’t have to, but this is what I’m recommending is that you have some affirmations, some things that settle you, some sentences in your brain that you can repeat to yourself that will help you feel settled, calm, relaxed, in demand, how you want to be feeling, right? And so someone who doesn’t have those ready, they’re probably gonna be catastrophizing cause that’s what we’re gonna do automatically, right? Catastrophizing is like, oh, what if they don’t like me? What if I freeze? What if I don’t say this right? What if I don’t know an answer? What if this, what if that, what if this, right? And it’s all like, notice how it’ll be a bad thing, right? It’s never like, what if it goes great? What if they love me? And what if they hire me on the spot? And what if they wanna hear more? And what if I tell the best story and they’re so engaged? That’s not normally what we what if about, is it? Although that would be helpful, I would encourage that for sure. So what we wanna do is create some affirmations and I’ll give you some examples of some that have really worked for my clients in order to create the best possible like nervous system calmness and open and availability and curiosity that you can have in an interview or at an important meeting, okay? So here’s a few.

I am human and that is okay. How human of me to be nervous for this opportunity. I can handle whatever happens.

It’s okay if I do not act perfectly. That is part of being human. I am curious to see how this is going to go.

However it goes is the way it is supposed to go. Some other really good ones that people like are, I am in control of this and all other opportunities as far as how I show up. And knowing that you will respond differently to different people, okay? So you might have an interviewer who makes you feel lovely and comfortable.

Their energy might just be calm and nice and it might be very easy to speak to them, right? And that’s probably a good indication of a good fit if you’re going to be working with this person. You might have an interviewer who’s very rigid, very demanding, very short and to the point, okay? And that person might make you not feel as at ease, right? And that’s important to recognize. That’s not all you, right? Like you’re going to be like influenced by their energy.

Energy is a real thing. So if that happens, you got to give yourself some space to say, okay, this is interesting how I feel around this person. I feel kind of pressured.

I feel kind of weird, right? And so you got to take that off yourself and say, I am going to show up how I would in the job, right? Whether that means that I’m going to be nervous because this person makes me nervous. That’s okay. That’s human, right? Or whether that means you’re going to show up as like the person who would show up in the job, right? Would you show up as curious? Would you ask questions? Like I’ve had an interview where I had somebody who was really abrupt and he was like, he was like, okay, so what are your sales like then? So what is this like? What is that like? And instead of trying to prove myself, instead of trying to scramble and say, well, I did this and I did this and I did this and is it good enough? Are you happy? Do you like it? Like, instead of that kind of energy, I was just like, well, why don’t you tell me what expectations you have for like the top salesman or the top salesperson, just to see if I’m even aligned with this opportunity, right? Like I was just like, and I was thinking, like I would turn it back as a question and be like, well, why don’t you tell me like why this is a great place to work, right? Like, or I’ve done it with clients as well.

Like if someone comes to me and they’re like, well, tell me who you’ve helped before, like in a kind of snarky way, right? They’re like, well, have you helped anybody like with my skills before? Like, can you do this? I’m not gonna prove my, I’m not gonna try to prove myself. I’m not gonna come from prove myself energy. I’m just gonna say, well, tell me why you think you would be a good client.

Like, tell me why you think we would be a good fit. Like, tell me why you even feel inclined to come to me for help, right? Like, I’m not gonna entertain that whole, like I’m gonna prove myself energy because it’s just not empowering to me, right? And I used to before I knew that it was an option, right? So you wanna get into that space where you are gonna create some affirmations for yourself that are really gonna calm you. And so that one of those affirmations might be, I don’t have to prove myself to anybody.

Those who are going to appreciate are going to recognize me for the value that I provide, right? And I’m gonna do my best to express that. I’m gonna do my best to convey that through curiosity and through the skills and the value that I have contributed. However, it’s not my fault if they can’t see it.

It’s not my responsibility to prove myself. It’s simply my responsibility to impress me, okay? So you wanna be impressive to yourself. And when you can be impressive to yourself, it won’t matter if other people are impressed by you or not.

Okay, and I wanna give you an example here. Say if you have a child or a puppy or a pet or any little small thing that you love, okay? You love the heck out of your kids. You love the heck out of your puppies and your pets.

And someone came along and said, your child is ugly, your child is stupid, or your dog is an idiot, right? You loving that thing or person or little kid as much as you do, you’re not gonna try to prove that they’re wrong. You’re gonna be like, huh? That person doesn’t know what they’re talking about, right? That person’s confused, whatever, right? And you’re gonna be like defensive and be like, go away, right? And so I want you to be like that with yourself. Be protective of your own value, okay? If someone can’t see it, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

It just means that they didn’t have the capacity to see it in that moment and that’s okay, right? Maybe you could have conveyed it better. You will learn how to, but they likely weren’t the person who was gonna see it anyway, okay? But it is like a balance, right? We wanna learn how to convey our value as much as we can. We want to add value ahead of time.

Yes, we do, but we don’t wanna strive and hustle and like come from that needy, please approve of me place, right? It’s like a balance, right? So I hope you’re picking up what I’m putting down there. It’s definitely a nuanced balance. So some more affirmations to help you calm your nervous system are, I do not need to prove myself to anybody but my own self.

I don’t need to prove myself to anybody but myself, okay? I do not need to perform for anybody. I do not need to put on a show for anybody. I simply need to do my very, very best and then I will evaluate myself as to how I would like to do better next time in that situation, okay? So your opinion of how you’re doing on how you felt on what you could contribute, that’s gonna be the most valuable feedback you can receive after an interview, after a meeting.

Now, I’m not saying it’s not helpful to get feedback from other people. People can give you great feedback but you have to pay attention where it’s coming from, okay? If it’s coming from a place of, I really wanna help you, I really do think this would be helpful for you and you’ll be able to feel that. You’ll be able to hear that feedback from the person and you’ll agree and you’ll feel good about it and you’ll say, thanks, I’m excited to implement.

That sounds like great feedback. But sometimes people can give you feedback that doesn’t feel very good and you gotta pay attention to how that feels, right? So if they say, oh, your resume was terrible, I really think you need to have it redone. You might look at it and you might say, well, I might agree with them, I might not but I’m getting results from this resume.

So, you know, you gotta pay attention to the feedback you’re getting in the real world before you pay attention to someone whose feedback doesn’t make you feel good or someone who hasn’t done what you wanna do or is where you are, okay? Or is where you want to be, okay? All right, so the fourth and last unexpected way to prepare for an interview. So let me just recap. So the first one is to take the pressure off yourself, okay? And I talked about ways you can do that, how you can take the pressure off yourself.

The second one is get into curiosity, okay? The third one is create some affirmations that calm your nervous system, okay? And you can use some of the ones that I’ve mentioned here or you can create some of your own. You can definitely make sure that you are going into it with some idea of how you want to intentionally think and feel knowing that you might meet people that kind of give you a different vibe, which is okay. That’s just something that you’ll need to recognize, okay? The fourth and final way, the unexpected way to prepare for an interview or an important meeting is to have your own back, okay? And we talk a lot about having other people’s backs and how you’ve got your friends back or you’ve got your coworkers back, they’ve got your back, but we don’t talk about having our own backs, okay? So having your own back is deciding ahead of time how you will talk to yourself after the meeting or the interview is over, regardless of the results you get.

A major breakthrough I had was, I’m not actually afraid of getting a negative outcome. I’m not actually scared of that. What I’m scared of is how I’m gonna talk to myself after if the negative outcome does occur, right? So I’ve just been invited to do my first in-person speaking gig coming up in 2025 for the Canadian Marketing Summit that is here in my hometown.

It’s a really big marketing summit and I’m gonna be speaking in front of hundreds of people. And while I’m really excited about this, I’m also really nervous about it. And how I have my own back through this is, because my brain will do the same thing that I was saying in the beginning, brains will do, right? My brain started saying things like, what if you don’t have a good speech? What if you don’t know what to say? What if it’s not interesting enough? What if all the other speakers are way better than you? What if you freeze on stage? What if you shake? What if you are so nervous and it’s really noticeable and everyone’s nervous for you? Like my brain will come up with that stuff, right? And so I consciously decide to have my own back and this is how I do it.

I will say to myself, congratulations for accepting something that is gonna push you out of your comfort zone, first of all, because I could have said, no, I’m not available to do that speaking opportunity and self-sabotage myself because I was nervous that this stuff was gonna happen, right? So I tell myself, good job for accepting something that was out of your comfort zone and for going for it, right? Two, I’m gonna say, I’m gonna do everything I can to prepare myself mentally and prepare the best possible talk I can to give as much value as I can, okay? I’m gonna say that to myself and whatever happens, I promise I will have my own back. Whatever happens, I promise you, I will be proud of you. And I say that to myself in the mirror and I say, no matter what happens, whether you freeze, whether you fall in front of a bunch of people, I will still be proud of you for doing it in the first place.

I’m proud of you for doing something scary. I’m proud of you because this is a huge up level and it’s going to get easier. I’m proud of you because you are gonna learn from this regardless of what happens.

You are probably gonna see things you can do better next time and that’s good. And how human of you to be nervous and I’ve got you regardless of what happens. So that’s the self-coaching I would give myself and have been giving myself and have my own back for this important event coming up in January, 2025, which I will put the link in the show notes if you’re interested.

I don’t know if I have local listeners or anybody who knows about this, but you’re welcome to purchase a ticket and attend and hear me speak. And there’s gonna be lots of other great speakers there as well. I don’t think it’ll be available online but I think that they are gonna do a video recording so I’ll be able to post that and share that.

So amazing. That is how you have your own back and that is number four. And I would argue that one of the most important things is having your own back because once you learn how to have your own back, you will be able to do things that will move you forward in quantum leaps exponentially.

And part of me considered saying, I’m not ready for this. I don’t think I can do this. And potentially I did sabotage myself this year.

I broke my ankle and I was invited to do a TV segment on the global news. It was called The Wealthy Life and I was invited to come and do that TV segment on the show called The Wealthy Life. And I broke my ankle and didn’t go because I was like, you know what? I’m in a cast.

I don’t wanna have to be walking and hobbling around on crutches on the stage. And I think back to this and I’m like, I could have still done it. They still really wanted me to do it, but I backed out because I was telling myself that these were good excuses.

They were good reasons to not go and I could have still gone. I could have had the broken ankle and I could have still gone. So brains try to keep you safe.

They will try to make excuses so that you can stay safe in your comfort zone. So learn from my mistakes and don’t stay in your comfort zone longer than you have to because it just postpones your dreams. All right.

Those are the four unexpected ways to prepare for an interview that you, I can probably guarantee you haven’t heard them in other places unless you listen to like mindset coaches, but I very much hope that they are unique and that they were incredibly helpful for you today. I appreciate you being here. Thank you so much for listening to my podcast, tuning into this video and I will see you next week.

Bye-bye.