Why Am I Not Getting Hired After Interviews (Interview Purgatory And How To Get Out Of It)
In this post, we’re going to talk about why you’re not being hired after you go for an interview and something called interview purgatory.
If you’re stuck in interview purgatory, it means you’ve been to a bunch of interviews and you haven’t been successful.
So stay tuned.
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A lot of my clients come to me because they have been to a lot of interviews.
They’ve applied for hundreds of positions and potentially been on up to 30 interviews and still haven’t gotten the job and they can’t figure out for the life of them.
What is going on?
They’re qualified, they’re smart, they’re intelligent, they have a good personality, they’re easy to work with, but what is going on?
So why aren’t they able to seal the deal?
When you get into this kind of state, you kind of start to feel like this is going to last forever, right?
And you start to feel a lot of negative emotion and you start to feel very frustrated.
The first thing that I want to talk about is that when you’re feeling that you don’t want to go on another interview because you just feel like failure is who you are.
And it’s just compounding on top of more and more and more failure, the degree at which you think it’s permanent is the degree of which you feel the anxiety and the fear that it’s going to last forever.
If you’re in this position right now, and you’ve been on a bunch of interviews and haven’t passed them, there is a clear reason for it.
And you need to do some, take some different actions than what you’ve been taking in order to figure out that reason and be able to move forward.
And don’t worry I will explain.
Second thing, you think something has gone wrong.
You think that you should have had an offer by now, and you think that you shouldn’t have had to go on that many interviews.
You think it should be easier.
You’ve seen maybe friends who have gotten jobs sooner.
Friends who maybe aren’t as smart as you or less qualified.
And you’re thinking why haven’t I?
You’re thinking that it should have been, it should be different at this point, but I want to introduce the fact that maybe nothing has gone wrong.
In fact, I know that nothing has gone wrong because you, every time you fail at something, you either get the lesson you needed or the result that you wanted and the lesson that you needed, you haven’t learned it yet.
And so you can keep going and doing the same thing over and over without really assessing.
And you can continue to need to learn that lesson.
And that has not changed.
Point number three, what were your expectations?
So did you expect to go on one interview and get the job, OR did you expect to go on five interviews and get the job?
Did you expect to go on 10?
What was your expectation before you started this search?
And then you need to adjust it because obviously your expectation was too low.
It’s like when you’re running a race OR if you’ve done some sort of exercise class OR anything where they say, “Okay, we’re going to be done in five minutes OR five seconds.”
And then they say, “I lied, it’s actually going to be 10 more seconds OR 30 more seconds”, OR you’re running a race and you think it’s going to be five miles.
And then it turns out its over five miles.
It turns out its 10 miles, just as an example.
Are you going to quit at that point OR are you going to keep running?
Are you going to adjust your mindset to be like: “Okay, it’s going to be more than I thought”, then the quicker you’re going to understand that you either have a choice to keep going.
OR quit OR stop and stopping, taking a break OR quitting only slows you down?
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The quicker you can adjust to that, the quicker you can move forward in a positive direction.
And be like, “Okay, I guess it wasn’t this one it’s going to be like, I have to keep going”.
And then ask yourself, how many are you willing to do before you quit?
And at any point, you can quit.
Nobody’s making you.
You can go, just get anything, like, just go work for anything.
Like you can, you don’t have to do it.
My clients are very smart and successful.
They know they’re capable of it.
They have potential.
Obviously they’re not going to quit because that would mean that they’re wasting all their education, all their past experience, all their capability that they have to make a big impact.
Maybe that’s you, do you want to adjust your expectations and be like how much am I willing to do?
Because it hasn’t worked yet, I guess it’s just going to take me a bit longer.
This is part of my growth.
Nothing has gone wrong.
Where did you put the finish line?
Right, so if you put the finish line at five miles and it was at seven miles, are you willing to keep running to those seven miles?
Then when you get to those seven miles, if the finish line is actually at 10 miles, are you willing to keep running?
Are you willing?
What are you willing to do?
You might have to slow down and take a breath, but that you’re in it.
And you’re going to reach the end.
That’s where you have to adjust your mindset and ask yourself how much am I willing to do?
It takes what it takes, right?
That’s how life is all these goals, all these big challenges.
It’s just going to take what it’s going to take.
And it’s inevitable that you’ll get there as long as you keep running.
A few questions to ask yourself, what were your expectations?
How many times are you willing to fail to get there?
What are you willing to do to get there?
What is the upside of quitting?
What do you have to lose?
How many more times are you willing to fail?
And of course, if you’re going to get it, the answer is as many times as it takes.
As an example, when I first started my business, I didn’t really have any expectations.
If I look back now, I’ll say I expected it to work a lot faster than it did.
Maybe in the first year, I expected to make a 100k I don’t remember I was just kind of going with it, but I expected a lot faster, a lot sooner because I remember getting a lot frustrated.
When I look back at that now, and I see that it actually took me three years to get to the point where I wanted to get to.
But now where I’m at was completely worth it.
I can see that my expectations were not adjusted properly.
And also there are things you can do to speed up the process.
For example, for me, as soon as I hired a coach and I found the one-on-one coach for me, that was able to help me.
I met my goal in that year. I superseded it.
And the reason for that was because I found the guidance to help me and the speed that I needed in order to meet that goal.
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It did take me three years though.
It took me three years to find that person and to understand what I needed to do and to really wrap my brain around what it took to get a successful business going.
But it was possible because I stayed in it.
If I had quit after the first year, I would have never made it to this point.
How long is it going to take you?
How much are you willing to do?
What are you willing to invest to make that happen for yourself faster?
That was the answer for me, whatever the answer is for you, you need to keep looking for it.
And that’s what winners do.
Winners always look for answers.
If they, if they try something it doesn’t work.
They will look for another answer.
Look for another answer until they find the one that works for them.
If you have been trying and trying and trying, there is a clear reason why you’re not getting the result.
And there is somebody who can help you with that and help you understand why you haven’t gotten it, help you adjust and move in a new direction.
Because most of the time, what people are doing is they’re doing the same things over and over without realizing it.
They have the same mindset.
Every time they go in.
And sometimes it compounds and it gets, when, like I was saying before you think failure is who you are.
You’re not going to find the solutions from that place because you’re just thinking it’s not going to work.
It’s not going to work because you’ve trained your brain to believe it’s not going to work, but there is no upside to thinking that.
And there’s really no point in going on those interviews.
If you don’t believe it’s going to work. And if you’re not evaluating, evaluate, and assess every failure, very carefully and very methodically.
Every time you go on an interview, you need to evaluate what it is you’re doing.
You need to find that reason why it didn’t work.
Now, yes sometimes it has nothing to do with you.
And most of the time it does.
Most of the time, there’s a very clear reason.
And the reason was you were not able to make an offer they couldn’t say no to you don’t have that skill, yet.
And that’s okay.
You can build that skill.
You can learn how to do it, but it’s based on your ability to sell yourself and your ability to sell yourself to yourself first so you believe in yourself when you can’t do that.
When you’re coming from a place of, it’s not going to work, I’ve failed already and you believe failure is who you are on a conscious or unconscious level.
Next point you need to take action in purgatory.
This concept of interview purgatory, you’re going on interviews, it’s not working.
You’re kind of stuck in interview purgatory.
This is the place where people either quit or they take a break.
They tell themselves, they’ll come back to it.
And then maybe they do come back to it.
And then maybe they get more interviews.
The break is not, what’s going to do anything for you.
The break is just going to slow you down dramatically.
What’s going to need to change is your thinking and your intentionality around evaluating everything that is happening when you go.
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You need to train yourself to take action even when you feel bad even when you don’t want to keep going.
And if you can do that if you can take action through those times, when you feel that evaluate very intentionally and go back and do it, that is going to get you results faster.
And that’s something that a coach can help you do and help you see from the outside where you can’t see it yourself.
Evaluating and taking action anyway, even when you feel bad is something that you can learn to do.
And once you start doing that, that is the currency to your goal.
It’s the steps you need to take towards this goal.
And any other goal that you want.
I had a client one time and he mastered this.
He was going on interviews evaluating very consistently and very thoroughly.
And he didn’t even have a feeling of disappointment after he was done anymore.
He would be like, “You know what I didn’t get it, but I don’t, it doesn’t matter to me. I’m fueled by the learning and I’m ready to go to the next one”.
And he questioned himself thinking, this is weird.
Why don’t I feel bad about this?
And I was explaining to him that, you know what, feeling bad didn’t serve him at all.
There was no upside to that.
He was in a space where he was just ready to keep going until he got it.
He got in the zone, he got the dream offer.
When you get in the zone, when you understand this is the process when you’re just going through and evaluating and taking the steps you need and using the failure as fuel, instead of letting it discourage you, you are golden.
Success is going to be inevitable for you.
You always have control over something.
The biggest thought that will hold people back is I have no control over this.
I can’t control whether somebody says yes to me OR not.
It’s not up to me.
The process is not within my control.
That is a detrimental thought.
There are so many things that are within your control.
And I bet you, you’re not doing them if you’re reading this post.
The interview is not just an interview it’s a sales pitch.
You have the opportunity to make them an offer they cannot refuse.
You also want to find out if you’re the right fit by asking great questions and seems really interested, but you don’t need to be at the mercy of whether or not one person says yes to you, because you have control over how many interviews you get, which means you can have five on the go.
You could have 10 going on.
You could have several a week.
And that is something you can control by how many people you reach out to and how many jobs you applied for and how many people you speak to.
There are so many things you can control and you want to perfect your process.
Always having things in the pipeline, always having things going and always having your sales pitch, getting it sharper and sharper and sharper every time you go.
And the better you get at it, the more you present it, the more certainty you feel in your body, that you’re the right person for the role and that you’re totally capable of doing it.
And you’re totally capable of taking that off their hands and making it a huge success.
Then the better you’re going to be at it. And your success again, will be inevitable?
But you need to focus on what you can control and you have to get rid of that mindset of it’s not up to me.
I can’t really do anything about it.
It’s up to them whether they say yes OR no, always up to you, whether OR not you get your end result OR not, that is completely on you, my friend.
And so when you step up and take that responsibility for it, you’re able to take the action from the place you need to in order to get it.
And when you learn to take action, massive consistent action.
Even when you’re feeling bad, you will be able to achieve any goal you want.
Our brain wants to protect us.
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When we get rejected, it wants us to retreat and go hide in the cave, take a break, stop taking the action.
This is what we’ll want to do.
And this is what most of you do.
Taking consistent massive action regularly is hard.
And it’s definitely harder in the beginning if you’re not used to doing it.
And that’s why having a coach, having skin in the game, having a commitment on the line is a container that you can put yourself in that will make it so that your success is inevitable.
That is the formula for getting the job you want and for getting out of the interview purgatory.
If you are in that space right now, there is a way out and it is through and I can help you with that.
If you liked this post, please click the link below and check out the, Get a Better Job In 30 Days, training where I’ll teach you everything you need to know to create your own opportunities.
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In this workshop:
- We’re going to go over the opportunities and how to get infinite opportunities, so you’ll never have to worry about where you are getting your next opportunity from.
- You going to find out how to crush your interviews and how to focus on what you can control to nail those interviews.
- Also, how to get a win no matter what, how to feel likeable, so whether they like you or they don’t, how you’re still going to feel intact, and how you’re still going to feel confident in yourself to keep going to ultimately get to your goal.
- We’re going to talk about mastering salary negotiations so that you can make the money that you want to make over the course of your lifetime. We’re talking five, ten years out, what is it that you want to be doing.
- You’re probably thinking pretty small right now if you’re like most people. I want to challenge you to think bigger.
- And the last thing we’re going to talk about setting up your promotion, so, the things you need to be focused on right now in order to get where you actually want to go.
If you’re interested in that, click the link below, you can get it immediately, you just have to enter your information, and It’ll be in your inbox.
SIGN UP TO WATCH THE FREE WORKSHOP HERE
You’ll never have to wonder where your next interview is going to come from.
And I’ll explain to you how to nail the interview and give you some strategies for negotiating your salary when you get to that point.
Reach out to me and I can help you get out of interview purgatory.
If it’s something that you want help with.
Do you know one person who could benefit from the information in this post? If so, do your friend a favor and share this info with him/her.
And remember, the current system isn’t perfect, but you can outsmart it. I’m here to prove to you that you do have what it takes.
I’ll see you next time and I can’t wait!
In Work & Life
I’ve got your back
– XO Natalie