Hello there. In this post, I’m going to tackle a question from one of my readers of my blog. And it is a good question, if I do say so myself, and we’re going to help out, and here is what she has to say:
I’m really hoping you can help me with this. I didn’t get the job, and I’m feeling really crappy about it. I was really excited about this job. It was a communications coordinator position, and after waiting for 2 ½ weeks, they finally called and said I didn’t get it. The interview went so well! I even got called for a second interview. I’m honestly not sure what happened! It feels like the fish was on the hook, and I just lost it. What can I do now to just accept that this opportunity is gone, and I will never get it back? I just want to move on, but I can’t stop thinking about it.
Wow, awesome. Thank you, Kimia, for sharing this awesome rollercoaster of emotions with me in this awesome question! I really do get ya, and you’re not alone—who hasn’t faced this exact same situation before? I promise you, we all have.
By the end of this post, you’re going to be feeling a lot better about not getting that job, so stay tuned.
Alright, let’s dive in.
We’ve got four things to talk about today that can help you turn that frown upside down when it comes to not getting that job.
#1: Adopt this mantra, especially when job interviewing.
So, this is a great mantra that I learned to live by, and it goes like this:
“Those who get you deserve you, and those who don’t can exit your life and leave you alone.”
In this situation of a company hiring for one person, there are at least a few other people who applied and even less who got interviews. Only one person can be chosen. The fact that you made it to the second interview is great. You should be proud of that because many people don’t get as far as you did, and that definitely means that you’ve got it going on.
#2: Look at it another way.
So, I always like to say:
“It’s not a failure; it’s just a test.”
So, you went for this interview to see if you could get this job, right? You ended up getting excited about it, and then you were let down, and it sucked. But what if you treated this as a test and started looking at it like a scientist, asking questions that could you help you for the future and for next time? You can even phone them and ask the person for their feedback.
So, ask yourself what lessons can you learn from this that will strengthen you for the future and for more opportunities that come your way. Check out my post titled “I keep getting interviews but no job offers—what am I doing wrong?” for some deeper info on how you can ask for specific feedback.
#3: It’s just like a board game.
This is something that Seth Godin says, and I totally think it applies here:
“Unless you’re five years old, if you lose at a board game, I think you know it’s not personal; it’s a game. Maybe you made a couple of strategy mistakes. The dice rolls weren’t on your side, but you can play again tomorrow. It’s not about you. Don’t have a tantrum, don’t worry about it, and don’t beat yourself up.”
So, let’s take that mindset—that very mature and grown-up mindset—that really works well for us, and apply it to when you don’t get the job.
So, what do you think so far? You didn’t get the job. It’s kind of a bummer. It’s like going directly to jail, not passing go, and not collecting $200. But it’s not the end of the world. We are playing this game with 1.5 to 3 billion other people, and if you can look at it that way, you will be a lot better at the game.
Why? Because you can approach the game better. You can approach it with joy, without fear. You didn’t get the job. You’re still alive. You can do it again tomorrow. The goal is to be better at the game, right? So, you didn’t get the job. It’s a bit inconvenient, but you’re not going to die. You can play the game again tomorrow.
#4: Would you feel bad if…
So, this is a game that I like to play with myself. It’s really helped me out when situations haven’t panned out the way I wanted.
What if you knew that they actually cancelled the position because they didn’t have the budget? Or what if you knew that they gave the job to the CEO’s son because, well, he’s the CEO’s son, and he needed a job? What if you knew that they had restructured their department, and the position changed so much that it wouldn’t even be a fit for you anymore? What if you knew if the hiring manager was actually being sued for harassment, and they had the position on hold for legal reasons?
So, these examples I guarantee you have all happened at one point, and someone has not been hired because of one of these things. You never know the real reason you didn’t get the job. It could have been absolutely nothing to do with you. In the true sense of the expression, it was them, not you.
So, I ask you: Would you still feel bad if one of these things was the reason for you not getting hired?
And there we have it—four ways to reframe not getting the job. I hope this helped. Feel free to click the thumbs-up if you liked this post or click the thumbs-down if you didn’t like it.
And now I would love to hear from you. Have you ever had an epiphany of something you were doing, and you had no idea why you didn’t get the job or what was going on? I’d love to hear it in the comments below. Your insights could help someone else, so don’t be shy.
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In Work & Life