Ep #8: The Flippant Effect

The Flippant Effect
 

Are you discounting your accomplishments without knowing it? When thinking of personal achievements, do you tell yourself that you were just doing your job or that everybody does what you did? So many people are unable to see their full potential or what they’re capable of because they’re too busy dismissing their successes. It’s a phenomenon that I call The Flippant Effect.

 

The Flippant Effect is when you don’t pay due attention, respect, or awareness to your accomplishments, but rather downplay and disregard them completely. By diminishing your achievements or capabilities, you’re telling yourself you’re not worthy of that job or promotion. You have to change your attitude and start trusting yourself so that somebody else can do the same.

 

Join me on the podcast this week where I’ll tell you why pride, certainty, and confidence are all positive qualities, and why sharing the great things you’ve done is not arrogant. I’ll share my ‘value model’ and how you can use it to determine your own value, and show you why experience isn’t everything when applying for a job. When you truly understand the value you’re capable of delivering, you’ll be able to advance your career, make more money, and have a much bigger impact!

 

To celebrate the launch of the show, I’m giving away an amazing surprise gift basket filled with all my favorite things to three lucky listeners! It’ll have some headphones, some books I love and some other fun things that I know you’ll love too. Click here to learn more about the contest and how to enter. 

 

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

     

  • Why what you’re telling yourself is holding you back and not serving you.
  • The difference between a self-confident person and an arrogant person.
  • Why experience does not equal capability.
  • How you might be holding yourself back from success.
  • Why you need to believe in yourself before you can sell yourself to anybody else.
  • How to apply the value model to get your dream job.
  • Why it’s possible to bring value without experience.

 

Listen to the Full Episode:

 

 

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Featured on the Show:

     

  • To celebrate the launch of the show, I’m giving away an amazing surprise gift basket filled with all my favorite things to three lucky listeners! It’ll have some headphones, some books I love and some other fun things that I know you’ll love too. Click here to learn more about the contest and how to enter.
  •  

  • If you’re ready to dive deeper into your career mindset and start making a serious impact in your industry, join me at nataliefisher.ca/getstarted.
  •  

  • Check out my  YouTube Channel!

 

 

Full Episode Transcript:

 

DOWNLOAD  TRANSCRIPT

 

Welcome to the Get a Better Job in 30 Days podcast. This is episode 8: The Flippant Effect.
 

Welcome to the Get a Better Job in 30 Days podcast. I’m your host Natalie Fisher. I’m a certified career mindset coach who also happens to love dogs, lattes, and most importantly skipping the small talk and getting right to the conversations that matter. On this podcast, I will coach you on how to use your brain to build a wildly successful career and make a real impact in your industry. If you want to do more than just work for a living, you’ve got to start by making the right decisions now. Are you ready? Let’s go.
 

Hello everyone. So today I’m going to talk about this new concept that I’ve been working with clients on for quite some time. And the problem is, is that when a lot of clients come to me the root cause of the reason why they’re not able to get into that higher paying position, or that position with more responsibility, or that position in the organization that they really want to get into, or in a new organization. The thing that’s normally stopping them is that they are not seeing the full extent of their accomplishments.
 

They’re not seeing the full extent of their value of what they’re capable of contributing. And it’s not their fault, they just don’t understand it, they don’t see it, because they’ve got this tape playing in their head and it goes something like this. So tell me if this sounds familiar.
 

Everyone does that. I was just doing my job. It wasn’t a big deal. I only have a year’s worth of experience. I’ve only done this at one company. There’s so much I don’t know yet. There’s so many other people who have way more experience than me. There’s so many people that interview way better than me. I’ve really got nothing compared to those other people who have done way more, and I have met some of them and they’re just way better. And what I did wasn’t really a big deal. I was just doing my job.
 

So if anything sounds like something you might think then this is definitely going to be for you. So I call this the flippant effect, because the definition of flippant is to not show a serious or respectful attitude.
 

And basically you’re not showing a serious or respectful attitude towards your own accomplishments. And again it’s not your fault. It’s just that you don’t see it because you’re doing your job every day. You’re just chugging along doing what you do. It comes very naturally to you. So you have no idea that it’s actually creating an impact in the organization. And you have no idea that if you weren’t there they might have had a different outcome, because you’re not thinking about it.
 

So the reason why this is such a problem is because when you’re trying to advance in your career, and you don’t really think you’ve done anything special or anything that’s a big deal. It’s going to be more difficult for you to go into an interview, or a promotion conversation, or ask for a raise and get it when you really think you’re just an average Joe who’s just doing your job.
 

So even if that’s completely untrue, and this is what I do, I uncover this with clients all the time is like, “Actually this is why this was actually worth a lot.” And we dig into the stories and we get really intentional about how they’re thinking about their accomplishments. But if you don’t do that work you might want to believe deep down that you deserve that raise, or that promotion, or that higher paid position somewhere else.
 

But it’s going to be very difficult for you to walk into an interview and exude that certainty and confidence when you deep down really believe that it wasn’t a big deal, you were just doing your job. And in this case that doesn’t serve you. So the first thing is you’d need to notice that you’re doing it. And I understand why we do this. It’s because we don’t want to appear arrogant. So a lot of my clients are like, “Yeah, but I don’t want to brag or I don’t want to seem like I’m coming off as arrogant.”
 

So the reason why they don’t want to talk about their accomplishments in a bigger way, the first reason is because they don’t really see that their accomplishments were that big in the first place. Second reason, they’re kind of nervous about coming off as arrogant.
 

And so I want to talk about the difference between just a self-confident person and an arrogant person. And if you’re worried about coming off as arrogant, the likelihood is you don’t have to worry about that at all. The irony of the fact that you’re worrying about it in the first place means that you don’t really have to worry about it. Because you’re going to err on the side of too careful and not playing up your accomplishments at all to the point where everyone else thinks they’re not a big deal too and they don’t hire you, versus having to worry about being arrogant.
 

So the difference between the two, a self-confident person is someone who likes themselves, knows they do good work, knows they’re good at what they do, knows that they have specific strengths that other people don’t. They like other people and they value other people’s strengths too. They know that other people can help them and they can help other people, they’re collaborative.
 

They’re somebody who’s very pleasant to be around and they’re just confident in themselves. And if somebody criticizes them they’re normally able to take that criticism in stride and they’re not going to get very defensive because they’re confident in themselves. So they know that maybe they’re not perfect, but they can accept criticism without kind of being really defensive about it. They might be like, “Okay, yeah, maybe I can work on that.”
 

Or maybe not, but they’ll, you know, they’re just kind of comfortable and at home with themselves is what I’m trying to say. And they’re comfortable and at home with others as well.
 

And then an arrogant person, the thing that defines and separates an arrogant person from a self-confident person is that the arrogant person needs to feel better than everybody else. Or they need to feel superior in some way. And they often do that by being condescending or putting other people around them subtly down. And that is what arrogant means. And that’s the difference. So you’re very unlikely to come across as arrogant. You’re more likely just lacking in that permission to be self-confident, because you weren’t sure what the difference was.
 

So if you understand that the only way that you can be arrogant is if you are acting superior and putting other people’s ideas down. If you’re not doing that then you’re just simply talking about your accomplishments, what you’ve done, what you’re proud of, and you’re comfortable doing that. And that’s something that is a good thing, we want that. We want to hire somebody who is proud, and certain, and confident in what they do, we want that. So that’s a positive quality, there is no downside to that.
 

The alternative is where a lot of my clients are, where they’re dismissing their accomplishments and saying, “It was no big deal, I just did my job.” People don’t advance in their careers and do great things from just doing their job. And if you’re thinking, but I did just do my job right now, then recognize if other people give you feedback and tell you that you’ve done an above average job. Or if your boss is constantly giving you above average ratings, maybe they tell you nice things but they’re not compensating you.
 

Or maybe you know that deep down you did go above and beyond on certain projects, you did tackle something from a different angle. You did do some great things. I have some clients who have done some amazing things and they haven’t seen it. So they could have saved companies millions of dollars. They could have helped grow companies from 10 people to 100 people. They could have sorted out large accounting audits and met really tight deadlines, saved a whole bunch of money by having an idea.
 

And in every single case that I just listed, from working with multiple clients, none of these people actually saw the value, the extent of the impact that they had with these things they did, which I find mind blowing, because they told me about it. And I’m like, wow, I asked the questions and then we figured out exactly what the impact was. And what could have potentially happened if the company didn’t have them working there at the time? If someone else had been there they might have done it differently. There would have been a different result.
 

So we see kind of how my clients are dismissing their accomplishments. And then a level below that, below that is when we literally put ourselves down and beat ourselves up and say, “We suck, I should have done better. I did a terrible job, I’m not good enough.” So that’s a level below. And nobody wants to hire somebody there either. You don’t want to hire somebody because they are beating themselves up and constantly shaming themselves and telling themselves they should be doing better.
 

So really the only place to be if you want to move forward and advance in your career is at that healthy self-confident level where you know you’re good at what you do, you’re proud of your accomplishments and you’re happy to talk about them because they’re just facts.
 

So that’s where I want to get everybody to because I know that once you know that you have done a good job and that you’re capable of so much more. And you truly understand the value you’re capable of delivering, that you’ll be able to advance way more in your career, make a lot more money and have a much bigger impact.
 

So the comparison I like to use is a salesperson, have you ever heard that saying like, “A salesperson needs to believe in their product before they can sell it.” So if they don’t believe in what they’re selling, if they don’t think it’s a good product, of good quality, if they don’t think it’s a good deal for the customer, it’s going to be more difficult for an honest salesperson to do a very good job of selling that product.
 

So for example, do they use the product themselves? And this is something that I always look for when I’m buying something. I want to know that they’re a fan of it, that they use it themselves, that their family uses it, that their friends use it. That they really believe in what they’re selling me.
 

A prime example here was when I was investing in some stocks and some mutual funds. And I was looking for a financial advisor to help me with that. And when he made his recommendations the first thing that I wanted to know was, was he invested in these same recommendations he was making for me? And a lot of them are not.
 

So I learned this and I was like, well, I’m not going to if you’re not, where are you putting your money? Why would I put my money somewhere where you’re not? If this is such a great opportunity, why aren’t you jumping on it? Why are you trying to get me to do it if you’re not doing it? So I ended up finding somebody who did, and he’s retired now with his millions of dollars because he did so well. But I only invested in what he invested in, because I wasn’t interested in being sold something that someone didn’t trust for themselves.
 

So that being said, if you are not fully trusting in yourself and your ability, your capability, and if you don’t believe that you have an above average contribution to give to this organization that you’re interviewing for or that you want to be paid more from. Then it’s unlikely you’re going to be able to sell them on this idea.
 

So you need to self yourself first. You need to invest in yourself first so that someone else can then invest in you. And the reason is because you need to show up in that way that is going to show them the confidence and the certainty that they need to then be onboard with giving you that extra opportunity, that extra salary, that extra responsibility. And selling yourself on it first is the thing that you need to do, and it’s not easy to do.
 

So the first question I’d want you to ask yourself is would you hire you? And why would you hire you? If you were the hiring manager, what are the reasons you would hire you? So if you were outside of yourself, and you were interviewing you, what are the top reasons why you would want to hire yourself, and do you?
 

So before you sell yourself on yourself, it’s going to be very difficult for you to articulate the value that you can provide and the value that you can truly offer, because you are not clear on that value yet yourself. It doesn’t mean it’s not there, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
 

I’ve walked so many clients through this and it’s there, there’s a ton of value, it’s like mining for treasure, there’s so many things they’ve done, so many great accomplishments and great stories. And even if it doesn’t come from experience, experience doesn’t equal capability. They don’t have to have a ton of experience, they can just have that evidence that they’re capable from other stories that they have in their life.
 

But the thing is, is that when your true value exceeds the level at which you can articulate it you will always be left feeling like you’re holding a soggy napkin, especially if you want to advance in your career. So the level at which you can articulate your value is the level at which you will stay at. And that actually has nothing to do with your real value, it’s your ability to see yourself in a way where you can articulate the true impact of what you’ve actually done and what you can actually do and will do in the future.
 

So, coworkers and bosses and people around you can tell you that your work is great and that you’re a great employee. But unless you’re 100% onboard with that, and you believe that, then it’s not going to matter because you’re going to go back to, I was just doing my job, it was no big deal. You’re just being nice, you have to say that, whatever it is you say. So you need to be 100% onboard, you need to believe in your product before you can sell your product. When you don’t fully agree your brain goes back and you end up staying where you were again.
 

So if you’re in this place right now where you’re thinking these thoughts about yourself, think about a time when you were trusted to do something by your boss or in your employment and you got it done. Think about a time when you did something really challenging, that was very difficult for you to do, you had to try a whole bunch of things to get it done and you figured it out. If you can collect stories like this in your brain and intentionally think about them then that will show you that you are an above average candidate, someone who can add major value.
 

And no, not everybody is like that. So I’ve had a lot of employees in my life so far and I’ve had some really great ones. And I’ve had some ones that would require a lot of training, handholding, and basically me doing the thinking for them. I’ve had a lot of people like that, and I can definitely tell you that there’s a difference, a big difference between those two types of people.
 

So my clients are often super hardworking, massive action takers. And because of that they get great results, they get a lot done. And if they get assigned a project or assigned a target by their boss or their employer, they are going to be so resourceful that they’re going to figure out how to get that done.
 

And they would never come back to their boss and say, “Sorry, I couldn’t do it, I don’t know what to do, tell me what to do.” Which is an example of a low quality employee who isn’t thinking for themselves yet, and they don’t know how to. They’re just following instructions, doing what they’re told. But they’re not trying enough things to actually get the project or task completed.
 

So think of times like that where you have done that and start mining for those stories in your head about times when you’ve been so confident that you’ve figured this out, you had to be confident or you wouldn’t have continued to take the action that you could figure it out.
 

So if at the end of that you’re thinking, yeah, but that still doesn’t count, because a lot of my clients do, they just keep wanting to argue with me about it. They’re like, “Yeah, but that doesn’t count, because I had help from this person. Or I just watched a YouTube video or called my previous coworker and they helped me out. Or it was a friend, they referred me, that doesn’t count.” There’s a lot of that that goes on. They’re like, “Yeah, that didn’t count, that was someone I already knew.”
 

That’s the exact reason that you’re selling only a fraction of your real value, you’re not reaching even close to your full earning potential. And if you continue to do that you never will reach your full earning potential. You’re afraid to ask for what you want and until you actually get what you want, whether it be where you are now or at another company. And you’re settling for something that you know is not you anymore.
 

So I have created a tool so that we can clearly break down your value and the specific things that you bring to the table. And it’s called the value model. So the foundation of the value model is the beliefs you have about yourself. How do you see yourself? They are the I am statements. So what your I am statements that first come to mind? For me, I am committed. I am resourceful. I will figure it out. It doesn’t matter how long it takes me, I will figure it out. I am determined. I am focused. I know who to talk to. I know where to look.
 

And everybody has some I am statements and unless you consciously choose these for yourself, a lot of people have some negative ones or some that don’t serve them very well. But I want you to look and see what are yours. So what are you believing about yourself right now? Do you believe you’re great at connecting with other people? Do you believe you’re a great communicator? What are your unique strengths? Do you believe you’re good at planning ahead? Do you believe you’re good at managing potential risks?
 

One of mine is I am good at interviewing. Maybe yours is I’m not so good at interviewing. So we want to look at that. And if you aren’t so good at interviewing, what are you good at? Where can you start? What do you have that does work for you? Successful people always start with what works, even if it is the tiniest glimmer of something. And often if you have told yourself a story for a long time, like I’m no good at interviewing, it might be difficult to come up with something that’s working.
 

Maybe it’s the fact that you got an interview in the first place which meant that somebody looked at your résumé, they thought you were worth speaking to. And they decided they wanted to dedicate an hour of their day to talk about you and what you might be able to offer. That’s something that works. They wouldn’t do that just to waste their time, they’re interested. They want you to be great, so maybe that’s something. But see how I’m trying to come up with anything that works?
 

So we want to start with what’s working because what’s not working is always going to be available and it’s going to be the majority of things. But there’s always going to be things that do work, and that’s where we need to focus our brain. That’s where successful people always live, is what’s working now, how can I build on it, even the smallest thing, where can I start?
 

So our brain always wants to go to the negative, and tell us what’s not working and that we can’t do it. We need to purposely drive it to the positive, or I like to say, the effective. It’s way more effective. It’s the only way really to start to continue on and get where you want to go is to start with what is working. And there always is something.
 

So back to the value model, the foundation of the value model is going to be your belief, your thoughts about you, your I am statements. So what are those?
 

Then on the other side we’re going to have your character, who are you as a person? What are your characteristics? And what makes you and the way that you work, different? So maybe you have a tough love approach, very direct, or maybe you have a softer approach, more handholding, more patient. And both can be very, very successful.
 

So I have a great example actually. So I was talking to my old boss last week and I was asking him how his wife was doing with Covid and everything. And she had lost her job but she got a new job right away. And I was like, “What is she doing now?” And he said, “She’s working for a property management company handling the evictions and such.” And I said, “Really? She’s so nice.” I was like, “She doesn’t seem like somebody who would be very good at evicting people at all.”
 

And because I had it in my head that somebody who manages properties like that has to be very strict, very authoritative, very direct in their way of speaking to people because of the nature of the work. And I had this in my head and I was thinking you have to be very strict, very authoritative so people will listen to you. Because that’s how, my parents have properties and they had hired many property managers over the years. And these, the property managers that they hired were always very much like that.
 

And so my old boss was like, “Actually you’d be surprised, she’s doing surprisingly well at it.” And I said, “How?” Because she’s literally the sweetest lady I’ve ever met. She’s the nicest person. I’m like, “I don’t understand how she would evict somebody, if she was even capable of it.”
 

So he said, “No, no, she has her ways. So she goes and she tells them that they’re going to have to find a new place to live. And then she helps them. She circles apartment listings for them. She gets them excited about moving to a new place. She literally does everything to show them that they’re going to be moving. And she just talks about it like they’re going to be moving.
 

And she’s like, “We’ll have to have someone come in here and wrap up your knickknacks.” It was an old lady she was evicting. And she’s like, “We’ll have to make sure that your little porcelain cats are wrapped nicely up so they don’t get broken.” And she’s like, “You’ll have to get some strong men in here to help you move this stuff.”
 

And her mannerism and her way of doing it, was just so effective. And so what ended up happening was they made it a rule, they made her way of doing things a new rule book. And they put it into this new rule book where they actually evicted people in this new way because it actually worked really well. So her unique style was just as effective, and in some cases, probably more effective than somebody who would go in there and be like, “Okay, get the eff out of here, pack up your stuff.”
 

So, very different, completely opposite styles, but maybe more effective for some people, and obviously the results were speaking for themselves because she was having a very good track record for getting this task done quickly. So she had her own style. So what is your style? And so these are the extremes. Super, super nice, I’m going to make sure everything’s done for you, or I’m just going to give you tough love and be like, “Okay, get out.” So those are very different, but that’s just an example. Maybe you’re in the middle somewhere.
 

What is it about you that makes the way that you work, that you communicate, super effective with the people that you work with or the organization? Or where is it that you want to be working? And why is your specific characteristics, why are your specific characteristics going to be really effective in that organization, in that line of work? So that’s the second part of the value model.
 

Then we have your results. So what results have you produced with your I am statements and your characteristics? And then the results are the last part of the stories where you say what ended up happening. So if I’m talking about the previous example I would say – and she was talking about how many people she’d evicted, she might say, “I successfully evicted nine out of ten people without causing any sort of fusses or arguments.” And maybe she had the odd one that still wouldn’t leave no matter how nice she was.
 

So that’s an example, your results, because you want to have results. You need to have results. You need to have proven results. And then on the top of it, so it’s like a pyramid and then you’ve got your characteristics, your results, and then your capability.
 

So what are you capable of? And I don’t even have experience as part of the value model because I don’t think it’s, like the hard work experience is not always a requirement. If you have it, great, but there’s lots of clients that I’ve worked with and they do not have a lot of hard experience. They can’t say on paper that they have five to ten years, or even two to five years and they’re still able to bring forward so much value with the value model as it is. So the I am statements, your characteristics, your results, and then your capability.
 

Because I do believe that experience does not equal capability, and that there’s no use in believing that it does because if you don’t have that experience then what are you going to do? So your capability, what are you capable of? What is your potential? And that is where you want to live into. And you do that by making sure that your value model is sturdy, that you have a strong foundation.
 

So your I am statements and what you believe about yourself, your thoughts about yourself are everything. And you probably have some sneaky ones that are currently holding you back if you’re not in the position you want to be in. If you’re not making the money that you want to be making then you have some I am statements that are not serving you. And that’s what I do as a coach is I help you to identify those, get them out of the way so that you can live into your potential.
 

And then the way that we articulate the value to the employer is going to be through the power of stories. So we take the value model, we do the value model exercise for you.
 

And then we craft your stories in a way where you are telling them effortlessly, you’re proud to be talking about your stories. You’re even excited to go to the interview and share your stories with new people who are potentially very excited to have you onboard because of your stories and the fact that they’re unique, and the fact that you bring a unique style to the table that matches up to exactly what they want, which is our goal when we work together.
 

Alright, so that’s what I’ve got for you today. Are you discounting your accomplishments without knowing it? If you are, you need to become aware of that. And noticing that there is no upside to continuing to think that you’re average, that you really haven’t done anything special and that that’s what’s keeping you stuck, called the flippant effect. Because you’re essentially not showing a serious or respectful attitude towards your own accomplishments, and that is holding you back. And as long as you keep doing that, you will stay where you are.
 

And then I introduced to you the value model and I broke it down as to how it works and how we identify all the things that you uniquely bring to the table. And that you need to believe in yourself, in your own product before you can sell your product to anybody else. So if you wouldn’t hire you, then it’s going to be unlikely that someone else is going to be excited to hire you, simply because of how you’re going to show up.
 

Alright my friends thank you so much for listening. I will see you next week or I will speak to you next week. If you want to see me you can check out my YouTube channel.
 

To celebrate the launch of the show, I’m going to be giving away an amazing surprise gift basket with all my favorite things in it. It will have some headphones, some books that I love, and some other fun things that I know you will love too. And I’m going to go all out on this one. So you’ll want to get in on this.
 

I’ll be giving away three of these to three lucky listeners. To get a chance to win one of these surprise gift baskets, all you need to do is rate and review this show on iTunes. I want to create an awesome show that provides a ton of value. So, please let me know if it’s resonating with you.
 

To learn more about the contest and how to enter, go to nataliefisher.ca/podcastlaunch. I’ll be announcing the winners on some upcoming episodes. Thank you so much for listening. I look forward to talking to you next week. Bye.
 

Thanks for listening to this episode of Get a Better Job in 30 Days. If you’re ready to dive deeper into your career mindset and start making a serious impact in your industry, join me at nataliefisher.ca/getstarted. I will see you over there.
 

 

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