How To Overcome SELF-DOUBT (In Your Career And In Life)
Hello! Welcome to this weekly post! Today’s topic we’re going to cover is about self-doubt.
By the end of this post, you’re going to have a really good understanding of what self-doubt is all about, why you have it, what to do about it, and what it means.
So, stay tuned.
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Self-doubt is something that everybody struggles with.
Everybody struggles with self-doubt when they are going to do something new.
When they’re going to up-level, grow, do something that they’ve never done before, they’re going to experience some level of self-doubt.
It’s completely normal, and that’s the first thing that you need to know is when you set a goal.
OR you decide you want to move from where you are to where you want to be, you want to grow in some way, you are going to experience some self-doubt.
So, your brain is going to give you some obstacle thoughts, some thoughts that are going to say things like, “I can’t do it,” OR, “Are you sure that’s possible,” OR, “Why even try,” OR some sort of thoughts that are going to shut you down right away.
That is something that is completely normal.
Like, can I really do it? I’ve never done it before.
That’s how self-doubt shows up.
The first thing that you need to do is recognize self-doubt, to see that is completely normal and it is going to happen.
It doesn’t mean stop.
The metaphor that I like to use is that self-doubt is like this awkward person who is sitting in the passenger seat of your car.
They’re very loud, and they sometimes sound like they have some really good points.
I’m going to name self-doubt, Max, okay?
So, Max is sitting in the front seat of the car on the passenger side.
You’re driving, and you decide you want to drive to Las Vegas, let’s say.
And Max is going to say:
- “Yeah, that’s going to be too expensive.”
- “There’s going to be too many stops along the way.”
- “We’re going to need to get gas.”
- “Can the car really make it?”
- “Are you sure you’re up for driving that far?”
- “We don’t know the way.”
- “Are you sure?”
- “How do we get there?”
- “We don’t know how to do it.”
- “We’ve never driven that far before.”
- “We’ve never gone there before.”
Max is going to sit there and he’s going to say all those things.
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At that moment:
When you choose to listen to Max and be like, “Yes, Max, you’re right. OR you say, We’re going to do it anyway. We’re going to figure out all those things.”
All the things that Max just listed are potentially valid obstacles that you might face.
But instead of saying to Max, “You’re right, we shouldn’t even try,” you can choose to say: “Okay, let’s list all those obstacles out, and let’s come up with a plan.”
We’ll come up with a plan as to where we’re going to stop for gas, how far it’s going to be.
We’ll map it out, we’ll decide where we’re going to stop, how we’re going to get there.
And then you decide to turn those obstacles into strategies for yourself.
That is how you manage your self-doubt, and you can choose it.
Point number two.
You get to choose how you react to the self-doubt, whether you listen to the self-doubt or you don’t listen to it.
And that’s the difference between the people who get where they want to go, do the things they want to do, live a bigger life, VERSUS the people who don’t.
Because the people who don’t are listening to Max.
They’re like, “Yeah, Max, you’re totally right. It’s not possible.”
The people who are not listening to Max are saying, “Okay, Max, you could be right about some of those things, but let’s figure them out. Let’s not let those things stop us, knowing, like, yeah, those are all possibly normal things that could happen.”
Self-doubt is a choice.
You need to become aware of it, know that it’s normal, know that your brain is going to serve it up to you, and then realize whether or not you want to take that opportunity to have the courage and move forward anyway OR stay where you are.
And it’s not for everybody.
Not everybody will move forward.
If you don’t have obstacles coming up in your life, it probably means that you’re not moving towards a goal that you really want to move towards, that you’re excited about, that is bigger, that is going to make you grow into a better human being or somebody who is going to accomplish more in their life.
And that’s fine.
You don’t have to.
It’s not for everybody.
But when you’re growing, when you’re making a decision to grow, self-doubt, Max, is going to show up, and he’s going to say something, and he’s going to be loud and he’s going to be repetitive.
That’s when you get to choose which way you want to go.
Listen to Max, or not.
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Point number three, is how are you going to find out what you’re really capable of if you do decide to listen to self-doubt?
That’s the thing.
Many of us don’t really ever realize what we’re really capable of doing because we listen to Max.
We don’t even know that we have the option of not listening to Max.
That’s what I want you to ask yourself is, what are you truly capable of, and how will you know?
The answer is your opinion of what Max says.
When Max brings up all the obstacles, what’s your opinion on those obstacles?
What do you think about what he’s saying?
If you have all these obstacles that have come up and Max has voiced them really loudly, what are you going to choose?
What are you going to decide to think about them?
Are you going to decide to turn them into strategies, OR not?
And that’s the defining factor on whether OR not you are truly going to do the things that you could do in this life and reach the full potential.
That thing of reaching full potential, that’s a real thing.
The self-doubt is what stops people from reaching full potential, even close to full potential.
You right now reading this post, you are so full of potential that I assure you you’re not meeting all, you’re not meeting your full potential right now.
You have a lot that you could do if your self-doubt wasn’t getting in the way of that if those obstacle thoughts were not something that you had let stop you.
And so, it takes some practice, and it’s a habit that you need to build.
You first need to understand that it’s normal and it’s going to happen and that it doesn’t mean stop.
Many of us take it to mean stop, it’s not going to happen.
It can’t happen to me.
Point number four.
If it is possible, someone else has done it, we can see evidence of it being done.
A common one is getting a job that you really want without that experience on paper OR without checking all the boxes.
You might think, not possible.
And if you see other people who’ve done it, you might say, “Okay, okay, maybe it’s possible, but not for me.”
And then you’ll come up with unique reasons as to why you can’t do it.
And that’s Max talking again, right, ’cause he’s going to be there.
Recognizing that if it’s possible in the world, the only reason you wouldn’t do it is because of your own self-doubt and because you’re listening to Max.
Just remember that.
If it’s possible in the world if somebody else has done it, you can find evidence of one other person who’s done it, the only reason why you won’t is because of your own self-doubt.
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Onto to point number five, I want to ask you, what do you actually want to believe?
You have a choice.
In the end: Do you want to believe that you have to stay in your current job for security, for whatever the story that you’re telling yourself is because you can’t go any further?
Because people don’t listen to you, because you can’t interview well, because you’re not capable, because you don’t have all the skills necessary yet?
Do you want to believe those things?
Because you can choose to believe something different.
If you want to keep believing those things, then understanding where you’re going to stay.
And that’s the story that you’re going to tell yourself, and that’s where you’re going to remain is in that current job because you don’t believe that you can leave it.
OR do you want to believe that you can leave it?
Do you want to be like, Max noted, but we’re going to figure it out?
Ask yourself, what do you want to be believing, and is what you believe right now serving you?
Are you happy?
Because either way, there’s going to be some discomfort.
If you’re unhappy where you are right now, you’re feeling some discomfort of not reaching your full potential, of not doing the things you want to be doing with your life, of not living the big life you want to be living.
You’re living that discomfort every day knowing that in the back of your head and having that nagging there.
OR, you could step forth into the world and take massive action in the face of self-doubt with the courage overcoming the self-doubt.
And feel that discomfort, the discomfort of moving through to something new, doing something you’ve never done before, taking those steps, moving through those obstacles, and then that discomfort becomes what actually moves you to where you want to go.
You can choose your discomfort, choose the discomfort of staying where you are, OR the discomfort of actually moving forward.
Either way, you’re going to be uncomfortable.
Which one do you want to choose?
When you put it that way, it’s really simple if you’re somebody who wants to grow if you have a growth mindset if you’re somebody who’s like, “I’m not going to stay here for ten years OR five years,” OR “I’m definitely going to move forward.”
Then the discomfort is something that you need to move through, and you can’t get around it.
That comes from having that self-doubt and deciding that you’re not going to listen to it, having the courage to move forward anyway, and taking that massive action.
The massive action piece is where you can’t fail.
If you take massive action over and over and over again, you start to fill in the pieces, you start to figure out what works for you.
You start to get more momentum, and you will get to your goal.
It is inevitable.
The only reason you wouldn’t is if you quit.
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That’s why having a coach is so helpful because a coach will not let you quit on yourself.
That is the whole point. I was a coach walk you through that whole process until you get to the finish line.
And so, all that self-doubt is going to come up.
All those obstacles are going to come up.
All those, “I don’t know how to do this” is going to come up.
Totally normal. Are you going to listen to it, or are you going to move through anyway?
And yes, it’s going to be uncomfortable, so you have to recognize.
If you’re not doing it and you haven’t been doing it and you want to do it, then your self-doubt is probably holding you back.
Massive action, what that means is you try something.
If it doesn’t work, you try something else.
You tweak it, you try something else until you figure that out.
I’ll leave you with one last analogy.
Let’s say your dream job is to be a marketing director.
You know that’s your dream job that you know that you want to go for that.
Right now, maybe you don’t have the experience yet, but you know that that’s your trajectory and that’s where you’re going.
That’s your puzzle, okay?
So, you can see that puzzle.
It’s all on the box.
You’ve got a 1000-piece puzzle.
It’s on the box, it looks really nice, and you know what it looks like, you in that marketing director role.
And then you need to put those pieces together.
It’s just a matter of putting the pieces together, and the way that it goes is, you might put one piece in and it might not fit right.
You might think you had a corner figured out, and you might not actually have it figured out.
You might put one color in one place, and it might not work, and then you’ll start to get the hang of it, start putting it together, and you’ll start seeing it come together.
That’s how your goals work.
It’s uncomfortable and you’re going to have to face that self-doubt, but once you figure out how to do that, then you can achieve anything you want to achieve.
And that, my friends, is how you overcome self-doubt.
There is no way around it.
It is through.
And it is a choice.
Choose to listen to Max, or choose to say no to Max.
Let’s figure it out and let’s go anyway.
And that’s called courage.
My name is Natalie Fisher.
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In this training:
- We’re going to go over the opportunities and how to get infinite opportunities, so you’ll never have to worry about where you are getting your next opportunity from.
- You going to find out how to crush your interviews and how to focus on what you can control to nail those interviews.
- Also, how to get a win no matter what, how to feel likeable, so whether they like you or they don’t, how you’re still going to feel intact, and how you’re still going to feel confident in yourself to keep going to ultimately get to your goal.
- We’re going to talk about mastering salary negotiations so that you can make the money that you want to make over the course of your lifetime. We’re talking five, ten years out, what is it that you want to be doing.
- You’re probably thinking pretty small right now if you’re like most people. I want to challenge you to think bigger.
- And the last thing we’re going to talk about setting up your promotion, so, the things you need to be focused on right now in order to get where you actually want to go.
If you’re interested in that, click the link below, you can get it immediately, you just have to enter your information, and It’ll be in your inbox.
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And remember, the current system isn’t perfect, but you can outsmart it. I’m here to prove to you that you do have what it takes.
I’ll see you next time and I can’t wait!
In Work & Life
I’ve got your back
– XO Natalie
