How To Not Care What Other People Think Of You (In A Job Interview)
I’m talking today about some situations where you might feel judged like in a job interview.
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1) Your Thoughts – I hope they like me – people having thoughts that don’t serve them and make them feel nervous like I hope they like me and I have to perform, etc.
The real question is…
Do you like you?
You need to like you first.
Would you hire you?
Because when someone responds in a weird way, for example:
- Are you done?
- OR no response at all.
- You get left feeling like you have no feedback and you’re not sure of yourself…
You need to be able to give yourself approval.
That’s when YOU have to ask yourself? Did I give a good answer? Yes?
Ok, you need to give yourself the approval that’s your job, it’s not anyone else’s job to approve of you that is your job.
That is where self-confidence comes from.
2) How you feel drives your results
You need to be feeling a certain way to get the results you want. That may be feeling confident, feeling motivated, inspired, curious, excited.
When you’re in that place you will drive a lot better results than if you coming from a place of, nerves, tense, unworthy, sad or hesitant.
The way that you create those feelings for yourself is through how you choose to think. A good indication of how you are feeling is what you are choosing to think.
What sentences in your head are you choosing to keep there?
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If you are focused on yourself, thinking about you and wondering if they like you, and you’re looking at the interviewers face looking for that nod of approval, or looking to see if they like what you’re saying then you’re focused on yourself and you need validation from them.
The problem is that when you are relying on external validation all your focus is shifted onto you and how you feel about yourself and how you can really serve and show up for them how they need you.
3) It’s not just about the words that you say
People come to me and they want me to tell them exactly what to say!
And while I can do that there is more to it than just the words on their own.
Example of the guy buying a drink for a girl he likes.
If he approaches her with a hesitant, tentative tone of voice, he could use the EXACT same words as a confident guy and get a different result.
Give yourself the approval first, not after.
There you have it! What to do if you’re feeling judged by other people.
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And remember, the current system isn’t perfect, but you can outsmart it. I’m here to prove to you that you do have what it takes.
I’ll see you next time and I can’t wait!
In Work & Life
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– XO Natalie