How To Get More CONFIDENCE In Your Career And At Work
If you think a lack of confidence holds you back in your career – this post is for you.
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The mistake that most people make is believing that confidence is something you either have or you don’t, and if you don’t have it then you’re screwed, and accept that as fact.
It makes sense because if you could simply “become more confident” then everyone would just do that.
Here’s the truth of the matter, if you’re timid, fearful, shy or unsure of yourself you’re not going to make it as far as you could in your career.
Shy people get turned down for jobs all the time, and people who are afraid to share their ideas get left behind quickly.
This doesn’t mean you have to be a loud and outspoken extrovert to get ahead, but it does mean you have to believe in yourself enough, believe that your contribution is valuable enough to take the action towards what you really want for your life.
If you continue to tell yourself things like “I’m not good enough” “no one cares what I have to say”or “what I have to say isn’t worth it” or, like one of my clients was saying to herself: “I’ve made too many mistakes at work so I’m not good enough to get that raise or promotion”.
These thoughts block you from taking the action to get closer to your goal and cut off all possibilities of you ever moving forward.
What’s more, is you’re proving to yourself that you’re right and that you’re not good enough for anything and so you stay in this cycle forever, until you consciously notice it, and decide to change it.
Here’s the damage these continued thoughts will have on you if you keep believing them.
Your confidence will get worse and worse.
It won’t get better.
You will start seeing evidence everywhere that you’re not worth anything and that no one cares about what you have to say (even if this is not true at all!).
Because you are thinking these thoughts your brain will look for evidence to support them.
For example: Say you email your boss with a really great idea that you’re super excited about and he doesn’t get back to you. If you have super low self-confidence, you will choose to see this as evidence that he isn’t interested in your idea and that your idea sucks so much that it isn’t even worth a reply.
However; If you really believed that your idea was going to change your department, and it was a game-changing idea, you would choose to think differently.
For example, this is how a confident person would think:
Well, he must have not received the email then I’ll just follow up with him and ask him about it.
He clearly didn’t understand the idea… If he had, he would think it was brilliant. I will need to explain it to him more clearly…
It comes down to what you believe.
If you believe your idea is brilliant and your boss didn’t respond to it, you’ll assume that he either didn’t see it, or he didn’t understand the idea and you just need to better explain it to him.
Two completely different perspectives, that start with your underlying belief about yourself…
You don’t even know that this is happening, and it will hold you back from having your ideas seen and heard, it will stop you from taking opportunities that you need to take to move ahead with your career, it will stop you from moving forward in all aspects of your life.
So how do you work towards becoming self-confident?
Well, one of my clients and I had this conversation.
I asked: “Has there ever been a time where you were good enough?”
She said: “Yes lots of times!”
I said: “Ok, give me an example.”
She told a story of how she wowed a client and saved an account that probably would have gone to do business elsewhere if she had not been there handling the situation as she did.
Great! So I said to her: “So how many times do you have to be good enough so that you can believe that you’re worthy of that promotion?”
She said: “That’s a really good question… I don’t know”
I said: “Do you see how you’re setting yourself up to never be good enough ever?”
If you don’t have a way to be good enough that you accept if you have no way to win at being good enough, then you will always be a loser, does that make sense I asked?
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She was starting to get it…
I asked her for example: Do you have to wow 2 clients or 5 clients? What do you have to do for you to meet your own standard of being good enough?
She thought about this. She said “you’re right! I have no benchmark.”
I said exactly!
So you see how if you have no way to win the game, then you’re always going to be a loser in your own eyes. Not because you are a loser, but because when there is no clearly defined way to win, then anyone would be a loser by default.
I am extremely good at moving people past their confidence issues in order to crush their goals and become the people they were meant to be.
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You no longer have to suffer in silence. This is a safe space to open up.
On the breakthrough session we’ll uncover:
- What’s been holding you back from getting where you really want to be right now
- Why you’re not there yet
- The thoughts about yourself and your confidence that have to lead you to your current beliefs
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I’ll see you next time and I can’t wait!
In Work & Life
I’ve got your back
– XO Natalie