How To Be Super Likeable In A Job Interview | 3 Self Confidence Hacks
In this post, we’re going to talk about how to be super-likeable, and three things you can do. I’m also going to go over the things that make people not likeable, and the real question you should actually be asking is not, “Do they like me?”
So stay tuned.
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So, you found this post because you want to be more likeable.
The first thing I’m going to share with you is, that it’s the wrong question to be asking.
You don’t want to be concerned with whether people like you or not.
You want to be concerned with whether or not you like them. First, you want to like yourself, because nobody’s going to like you if you don’t like yourself, because nobody is going to be really wanting to hire the most self-doubtful person, right?
If you’re questioning yourself, if you’re questioning whether or not you like you, or if you’re worth their time, then they’re not really going to be that interested either, because you have to like yourself first.
Do you like you?
That’s my question to you. Do you find yourself likeable? Would you hire you?
I want you to come up with at least ten things about yourself that you like.
Is that hard exercise for you? It is for a lot of people.
If it’s hard for you to come up with ten things that you like about yourself, then start with ten things that are facts about yourself.
Maybe simple things like: you are a human, you went to school. Maybe you’re a good student, maybe you learn well. Maybe you’re a kind person. Maybe you’re really committed.
Start small, but you want to eventually come up with a list of things you like about yourself.
For example, off the top of my head, I’m just going to tell you some things I like about myself. I like that I really want to share information and help.
If there’s something that I learn that helped me in my own life, I’m excited to share it with you, because I think it can help you too.
I like that about myself. I like that I try really hard. So sometimes, I try too hard, but I like that I’m genuinely committed to continuing going at something, and if I fail at it, I’m going to keep going.
I like that I’m a dog lover. I love dogs, and I love all animals.
There are a few things off the top of my head that I like about myself. What about you?
If you’re focused on that and you think hard enough, I want you to get really clear on what it is you like about yourself.
If you have an education, a degree, it means you probably worked hard in school, right?
But, just giving you some ideas.
First, decide what you like yourself, and get really clear on why.
And then, it’ll be easier for you to decide, “Do I like them? Are they a good match for me?” Right?
Because if we’re coming at it from, “Do they like me, I hope they like me,” it’s all about whether we get the approval, right?
But we forget that we have to give the approval too.
Your life is your life, you get one wild and precious life, and you don’t want to waste it working somewhere that you don’t even like. With people that you don’t even want to spend time with.
We’re missing all this. We’re like, “Oh, I hope they like us.” Well what about you?
Do you like them?
That’s what you need to be worried about.
When you’re able to focus your attention on who you like, the first step is deciding you like you, figure out why you like you, and then decide whether or not you like them.
Then you can be asking more creative questions, like:
- What is it about them that I’m going to want to be a part of?
- Why do I want to be a part of that organization?
- Why do I want to work there?
- What is it that they’re going to be able to offer to me, as well as what can I offer to them?
- Is it going to be a mutual fit?
This is what you really want to be focusing on, okay, because this is where the self-confidence and self-esteem come from.
And if you’re asking, “How do I be more likeable OR how do I get people to like me?”
This probably means that you’re looking for approval from an external source when you need to give yourself that approval to start with.
Because really, nobody can give you that approval.
There’s always going to be people that like you, and there’s always going to be people that don’t like you. And that’s okay, we wouldn’t want to change that.
We don’t want everyone to like us, because that would mean we’re really boring.
There’s this famous quote, it says, “To avoid criticism, you must do nothing, be nothing, do nothing…” I don’t remember how it goes, exactly.
But, something like that. You get the idea, right?
If you’re focusing on what it is that you want, then you can bring that in, versus being the person who’s just everything (likeable) to everyone, and wanting everybody to like you.
Like, “Oh, I hope they like me.”
But you know what, nobody ever said, “You know, she really looked like she was doubting herself quite a bit, she really looked unsure of herself, I think we want to hire her.”
That’s not how it goes, okay? So just keep that in mind, and stop doing that.
Once you figure that out, I want you to keep in mind, that the next step is to have your own strong boundaries, and high self-esteem, and know what that is.
Having strong boundaries and having high self-esteem means that you’re comfortable in yourself, you like yourself, and you are prepared for other people not to like you, not to agree, not to mesh with you, not to be the preference of everybody, right?
I have a story to tell, it was pretty funny to me when I heard this.
I worked with this lady, her name was Brenda, and she was a trainer.
She came in, and she did training for organizations, and she did presentations on good customer service, and support, and teamwork and all that stuff. So she was an older lady, and she was quite large.
Like, no judgment here, I’ve been very overweight myself, but just stating the facts here, she was quite a large woman.
We were having lunch one day, and she was telling me this story about how she went to the doctor, and how she was in her 50s, and the doctor was saying to her, “You know, Brenda, I think you should consider losing some weight, I think it would be good for your health moving forward.”
And Brenda was like, “No, you know, I’m pretty happy with how I am.”
She’s like, “I don’t really think I need to lose any weight.”
And, she’s just like totally, comfortably at home with herself, not having any issues with the fact that she was overweight, and then the doctor said to her, “Brenda, you know what your problem is?”
And Brenda’s like, “What’s that?” Then the doctor said, “Your self-esteem is too high.”
I thought that was pretty funny because it’s a perfect example of the fact that Brenda didn’t have a problem with her weight, and if someone else did, even her doctor, even a person of authority, you know, who you would trust, and believe would have a good point as to what you were saying, Brenda was like, “Nope, you know what, I think I’m fine.”
There’s a good example of having strong boundaries, which means you have high self-esteem, right?
This is another good example.
Somebody might say to me, you know, “You’re a little bit too loud, too enthusiastic, you ask too many questions. Maybe you should tone it down a bit.”
Having my strong boundary, and having strong self-esteem, I might say, “You know what, that’s just kinda how I am. If you don’t like it, that’s cool, but I don’t think you and I are going to get along too well.”
And that’s okay, right?
Because lots of people really love that about me.
It’s fine, I just want you to understand that you can have your own strong boundaries.
If it’s something that you want to work on, so say maybe you don’t like that you ask so many questions, or you’re like, “Well, maybe I could tone it down a bit,” or whatever, you can make that decision, but you got to make it for you.
You got to say, “Yeah, maybe that is something I’d like to work on.” OR you could say, “You know, sometimes I do ask a few too many questions.”
But don’t make it mean something that there’s something wrong with you, we’re humans and we’re all going to have things that we like, and things that we don’t like, but just have your own core self in mind, and don’t judge yourself for being who you are. Because you can’t be likeable to everyone, it is what it is.
And there’s definitely something to be said for being who you are no matter what because people will either accept you or they won’t.
Think about this, if you listen to every piece of feedback that people gave you, and you changed everything, imagine what would happen?
Say somebody said to me, “Natalie, you’ve got to stop asking so many questions. Natalie, you got to quiet down a bit. Natalie, you got to tone it down.”
And then someone else will say, “Hey, you know what? I think you’re really quiet, and I think you should be louder.”
And then someone else would say, “Hey, you know what? I think you should just not talk.”
These are all people’s reflections of what they are thinking, but if I tried to change to everything, I would end up nothing, right?
So we have to remember who we are, at our core, and own who we are, and be proud of who we are.
That’s how you actually become more likeable. Because you are likeable.
Contrary to popular belief, you think you need to make yourself different so someone else will like you.
But, if you did that, they don’t really like you, they like the version of you that you created or that you changed into for them.
Moral of the story here, own your own self, own who you want to be, and like it.
Because there is no downside to that.
If you want some more help from me, I want to invite you to a free workshop, it’s called Four Days To A Six-figure Job You Love.
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Do you know one person who could benefit from the information in this post? If so, do your friend a favor and share this info with him/her.
And remember, the current system isn’t perfect, but you can outsmart it. I’m here to prove to you that you do have what it takes.
I’ll see you next time and I can’t wait!
In Work & Life
I’ve got your back
– XO Natalie